Feel like a fraud

From a standard 3 yearly mammogram I was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer grade 3. So last Tuesday I had a wle & 2 lymph nodes removed - luckily through one incision. Since the op I have felt battered, bruised & sore but generally ok other than being very tired. In order to get comfy sleeping I got a travel neck pillow which you can mould around your boobs, works a treat. Obviously I won’t know what further treatment I’ll have until after my check up on the 4th July
My problem is that as I was fit & well before I feel a bit of a fraud. I’ve got cancer but I’m not ill? Mentally I’m struggling with that side of it - has anyone else felt the same? x

Hi Jude sorry that you find yourself here. I know many of us feel or have felt the same as you. I was diagnosed in Feb, utter shock as how could I have breast cancer and feel so OK physically.
Pleased you are recovering so well from the surgery. The waiting for results is such a difficult time. Be kind to yourself. Advice I picked up from the forum was don’t look at dr google but use this and Macmillan for sources of info.
Let me know how your result go, hoping for good margins. I can be found on the April surgery or May chemo threads.
Take care Jem xx

Jude know exactly how you feel. Routine mammogram showed up tumour in April. WLE and node surgery on 23rd May results all positive and starting radiotherapy in July. Was still in shock till about last week. I think that the last few weeks have taught me that yes I was fine fit and I thought healthy until I was diagnosed, but in reality I was walking around with a potential time bomb in me. Good news is that because we have the unbelievable benefits of getting checked on a regular basis that bomb has been diffused. You are not a fraud you have had surgery you may need more treatment and you need to look after yourself at the moment to make sure you you get to the end of this roller-coaster journey in the best shape possible. As Jem says use the forum to see what other people can do to help you. Do not Google you will drive yourself mad. Take each day as it comes and above all else be kind to yourself. Fingers crossed for your results appointment. Chris x

Thanks for the quick response Jem & Chris
Really pleased that it’s not just me, maybe I am in shock but don’t realise - I’ve been very calm & haven’t even cried. I’ve a nasty feeling that one day it will hit me & I’ll end up a big mess for a couple of days!
Will update on my results & further treatment - thanks again & good luck with your treatment x

Hi Jude

As the other ladies have said, and you must believe it, you are not a fraud!!

I too found myself being diagnosed after a routine mammogram and also felt so fit and well. I had surgery to remove the tumour and WLE and have completed my rads and now onto hormone therapy; my treatment has been in France where we live but has been fantastic. My results were positive but I too waited for it to hit me and be a quivering mess. However it hasn’t happened! Yes I’ve had tears here and there and the waiting was most definitely the worst time when my mind ran riot. But I truly believe that we find some inner strength, almost a gut instinct to get through this. Look on the fact that you are well as another positive and that you will be in the best possible health to go through treatmentment.

Although a newcomer to this site, I’ve been reading the posts for a while. I’ve found an enormous strength and positivity from the lovely ladies who have unknowly helped me through one of the toughest parts of life!!

Sending love and hugs. Xxx

Hi Jude. Like you I was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer grade 3 a couple of weeks ago.  It was a major shock because I feel healthier than ever before & had no idea & had gone for annual screening.  It’s triple negative so i’m having bilateral mastectomy, sentinel node biopsy & reconstruction this Friday followed by chemo.  I’m seeing a clinical psychologist on Tuesday morning because I have chosen to have both breasts removed and they want to be sure i’ve made the decision for the right reasons.  It was hard to take the decision when you do feel well but knowing there is something growing inside is enough for me.  I do understand how you feel x 

Hi Rosy
I have felt quite serene through it so far, maybe it’s still a little surreal
Hopefully my treatment will be similar to yours but i think I’m prepared for chemo - if required
I’ve been looking on the website for the last few weeks & decided to take the step to join (& hence accept I have cancer) as the ongoing support will be more than useful & maybe I can help someone else
Take care x

Hi Jacqs
Crikey you must feel that you are in a parrallel universe with your diagnosis
Presumably the triple negative was determined with the biopsy result?
Good luck with your decision, somehow inside of you, you will know what the right move is - I’ll be thinking of you x

Hi Jude. Your no fraud and know exactly how you feel. I was same grade 3 invasive diagnosed 23 March. Wle and snb, result was no node involvement. Monday I will be 14/20 radiotherapy and almost finished active treatment. I also had oncotype test done in between surgery and start of rads. This came back low so no chemo needed. This is the best place to get any info or advise you feel you may need as there is always someone who can help. Like you and others I felt fine and still do. Had my moments but only for hours and not days. Still not sure it has hit me yet even now but as you say fully aware of what we have and what is happening. The waiting game is by far worse than any of the treatment as the anxiety gremlins go wild. As others have said don’t google it’s not worth it. Be led by your surgeons and nurses and you will travel safe. Like Jem I to can be found in the April surgery thread where you can read all about our journey and there is sure plenty to read as we still go back there most days to keep in touch. Take a read you will see the ups the downs and the laughs. I am also in the June radiotherapy thread but have to say the April thread is my base. Let us know how you get on with your results and hope all goes well. Take each day as it comes and do what you can and if you can’t do it then that’s fine also. Lovely peeps on here and always willing to help through the good and the not so good times. A place none of want to be but here we are. A lot is fear of the unknown and your mind always fearing the worse scenario. I have been there and no not a fantastic place to be but here I am coming out the other side whilst at the same time holding Jems hand whilst going through chemo. We will all get there albeit to a different kind of normal but we will get there. Oh well rambling again. Take care and just remember day by day and cherish to good days. Keep doing arms excersise in prep for radiotherapy drink gallons and walk as much as you can, she says as sat at the table telling myself you really need to go for a walk!! Enjoy the rest of your day.

Hi Gill
Thanks a lot - I feel better knowing it’s not just me. I really thought if I was told I had cancer I would be a wreck, so have surprised myself
The forums on here are great, every small thing is covered by someone so it’s great having the feedback from people going though or already through the different processes
Will you need any hormone treatment? I don’t know whether my cancer is receptive to hormones as yet but I’m 56 & post menapause so that might make a difference?
Thanks for the tips & good luck with the rest of your treatment x

Sorry ladies.

Just read through my earlier post and realised I meant lumpectomy and SLN biopsy!!! ? I was a grade 2 though but had a wait for the HER2 results as it was borderline.

 

Having said that I did prepare for chemo…I had all my notes, tips and addresses ready. It was my way of coping and feeling in control, that I could do something to help myself.

I also had to watch my young grandson go through chemo a couple of years ago. With that I felt helpless but also took strength from the fact if he did then so could I, if it was necessary.

 

Good luck to you waiting for results and for your treatment. I will be thinking of you.

Now I too am going to take a walk…!!!

Enjoy th sunshine.

xxx

 

Hi Jude. Yes was er and pr pos her2 neg so hormone tabs which I was given weeks ago and given the choice of starting straight away or after rads. Needless to say I went for the latter and will cope with them when I have to. I’m 63 and post menopause so tabs it is. Thank goodness for routine mammograms that’s what I say.

Hi Rosy
I have also swotted up on chemo just in case - I’m a control freak so it helps me to know what might happen
Just had a walk & an ice cream! x

Hi Gill
Thanks for the info re hormones - I’ll wait & see what I may/may not need
Big up a routine mammogram! x

Hi Gill

 

I too started on hormone therapy after my rad treatment too. I’m a couple of weeks into it now - seems to be fine although fingers are still crossed that all will be well! I was interested  to read about you making the decision. The oncologist told me that in his experience ladies coped better with rads without the HT as well and they now defer it for all patients needing it. (I live in France so being treated here).

I hope it all goes ok for you too.

Take care. X

Hi Jude, I know exactly how you are feeling. I found my lump by accident in the shower. Wasn’t worried. Took it to the GP, referred to clinic. First exam, they said no prob, but sent me for mammogram and ultrasound. Ultrasonographer did a biopsy and told me to go back down to the clinic. By now it was 6.30 on the Thursday before Good Friday. Dr says sorry I was wrong. You have BC and will need a mastectomy! Sent me home!

Serious denial over Easter. Didn’t even tell OH! Spoke to BCN on Tuesday, then fessed up! The biopsy results revealed triple negative ( definitely not to be Googled!!). I was offered therapeutic mammoplasty instead of mx, with reduction to match. I now have the boobs I had 30 years ago. Throughout all of this I felt really well, just like you. I felt good about my new boobs, And became a lady who lunches with my lovely girl friends! I did go back to work for a couple of weeks before I started chemo last week.

To be honest, I still don’t feel ‘ill’. The chemo has clipped my lunchtime jaunts a bit, but it is a means to an end. I feel lucky that I caught this early and that I am being treated by the best health system in the world. I have found this forum (May surgery and June chemo) tremendous support. Kx

All. Interesting comments on hormone therepy. I am due to start Rads in July but am about to start my 3rd week of taking tablets. My surgeon and the oncologist told me to start taking them straight away. Seems there is no consistency. Suppose only plus side is that I will know if se are from tablets before I start rads… Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weather x

Hi Rosy
You are definitely right about the small things & it does make you realise how unimportant some things are which used to bother you!
Hi K
The NHS is a fabulous establishment, can you imagine not having the insurance to cover you in other parts of the world! I can’t imagine what the cost would be. I work 4 days Monday to Thursdsy so hoping I can keep going on that basis - just be a lady who lunches on a Friday!
Hi Mcnulcc
I’ll update on hormone treatment if required / before or after radiotherapy
Take care all x

I’ve just totted up the cost of the take home meds. It comes to nearly £1k! Most of that is the Filgrastim injections! Plus all the paraphernalia to give to the nurses for maintaining the PICC line. Thank you NHS x

Hi Jude,

 

I’m also another who feels like a fraud. I found a lump in my breast at the beginning of November and was diagnosed with stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma by the end of the month. After further investigation including breast MRI and CT scan, not to mention Christmas too, it was decided that I would start chemo in January. I found the whole process very surreal; I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer but felt absolutely fine and was probably the fittest I’d been for years! I found it very odd that I wouldn’t actually become unwell until my treatment was started.

 

After discussion with my oncologist it was decided that I would have chemo prior to surgery. This would allow the oncologist to assess response to treatment, hopefully shrink the lump and also allow time for gene testing (given a history of ovarian cancer on my Mum’s side of the family). Chemo was a bit rough, not helped by having a simultaneous house extension involving lots of dust, ripping out the kitchen and knocking down a wall! My tumour responded well to chemo and had shrunk considerably. Surgery was planned for the beginning of June even though the gene test result was not yet back. I had a WLE and SLN biopsy on 6th June and the gene test results were reported on 8th June. Despite the oncologist and surgeon being fairly sure this would be negative I was told I have a brca2 gene mutation thereby increasing my risk of this cancer recurring as well as a higher risk of a new primary breast cancer and ovarian cancer. 

 

I now have to decide whether to continue with the original plan of radiotherapy or go ahead with double mastectomy +/- reconstruction - not an easy decision… On the plus side, results from surgery showed there was no spread to the lymph nodes and my tumour had responded completely to the chemo. Back to see the surgeon on Friday to decide on a plan.

 

I’ve also been a bit of lurker and wasn’t sure about posting previously but Jude’s post about feeling like a fraud struck a chord with me x