Hi Rosie
Thank you - that’s very kind of you
Hope you have a lovely holiday, I bet it’s still warm in the south of France - enjoy every minute
I’m just starting to feel normal so am looking forward to the next week or so before going onto T chemo & herceptin
Have a lovely weekend everyone
Jude x
Just come across this thread, using this site as need advice regarding reconstruction. I know how you all felt about feeling like a fraud. Apart from an itchy boob there I was healthy and happily working with no aches and pains or cares in the world. Now I am bald and boobless!! Six months of chemo, double mastectomy, 10/10 cancerous lymph nodes removed, internal bleeding emergency surgery and blood transfusion etc etc… but I look so well! Everyone who sees me tells me so, its like I cant be poorly. It has wiped me out and I do feel guilty about work, only doing a few hours three days a week (at the moment not working as recovering from mastectomy). Got radiotherapy to come, a years supply of Herceptin in local chemo unit and then ten years of tablets… along with a reconstruction if I choose to go ahead. Like a lot of ladies, Ive not been able to cry just got on with battling it, besides my husband has cried buckets for me! Ive had to laugh though, before the hospital got hold of me I was a healthy thing now am so different. We just dont know whats around the corner do we. Live each day to the fullest thats what I say. Hugs to all you out there. X
Hi Lisa
Crikey you’ve had a tough time of it & you’ve still got radiotherapy, herceptin & a possible reconstruction to come! I don’t have experience of a mx but try not to be rushed into your decision as you may feel different in a few months
I find it a bit irritating now when people (who’ve not been through it) tell me how well I look when I’ve made an effort, wig on & makeup. If they saw me at home nauseous, shaky, bald & scarred (I only had a wle rather than mx) they might think differently. Not that I want to look rough when I’m out but it does all support the ‘fraud’ element. I still feel like I’m in a parallel universe at times & I’m watching it happen to me.
Saying that I’m totally with you - life is for living so I’m trying to still do the things I enjoy without totally knackering myself - this fatigue malarky is tiring!! ?
Take care
Jude x
Hi Lisa
It’s good to talk!
When did your chemo finish? I’m curious as to how long it takes for your hair to start growing back. I’ve had a bob of varying lengths for the last 10 years or so but did have it shorter before & always quite liked it - I’m already wondering how you get it into a style as it starts to grow & I’m only halfway through chemo!
Sorry - a wle is a wide local excision (back in the day it was called a lumpectomy), I was quite lucky in that due to the position of my tumours they used the sane incision to get the tumours & the sentinel lymph node so I only have 1 scar
I started a blog as well to try & use as therapy as well as updating everyone without having to talk to them all separately ?
I like reading other blogs - can you send me a link to yours? Or us it just for your personal musings?
I do feel for you if you are scared, it sometimes feels like you just have to put one step forward at a time & manage the hours/days rather than looking too far forward
Regarding the tablets for ten years- people can be very thoughtless but I don’t think it’s deliberate I think it’s more because they don’t really know what to say but think they have to say something.
I like to think that when I’ve got through the rest of the chemo, the rads, herceptin & bisphosphonates that I will be a better more rounded person
Take care
Jude x
Jude you sound like you are doing well on this cycle ?when does T start? I know you are prepared with finger nails- keep them moisturised, especially at the bottom. So far I’ve kept all mine?. I’m now 3 weeks post chemo- it felt good yesterday not starting another cycle. I started radiotherapy on Monday - 15 sessions in all. It’s ok, different to chemo. But a Lisa Marie said tears must come at some point- mine arrived on Monday?quite unexpected - just kept crying. Think there will be more. I just feel like I got off one horrid rollercoaster to move on to a different one.
My hair is starting to come back - I was blond but now grey/white/blond/darker bits. I’ve always had fine hair but what is coming through is like fine baby hair- just hoping it won’t be curly too. Eyebrows & eyelashes - T was not good for them. Eyebrow pencil and waterproof eyeliner come everywhere with me.
Lisa Marie how’ve you started back at work yet? If so hope going well. Agree with you re putting on your face, feeling like a fraud but albeit a happier one that only people who I’ve chosen to tell will ever know . So many people have commented on my new shorter hairstyle- even asking who cut it!! Thankfully I don’t need to lie as went to a salon and had it trimmed!!
Rosie Posie hope you had a great time in the south of France
Xx
Hello ladies,
Jem, thank you. We are still on holiday, another couple of days left. The weather has been very warm for late September so we have been lucky. It’s helped me to forget a little and it was my 60th birthday treat too.
However I’m still popping into the forum to see how everyone is.
Jude I hope you are enjoying your week of feeling normal and have managed to so some things to make you happy. Enjoy the moment.
Lisa, you have been through a really tough time and I think you shouldn’t feel guilty at all about work. You are more important than anything and you’ve still got a bit of a journey ahead of you.
I am in awe of you all, ladies! Today you make me feel like the fraud, after what you have all been through.
I do feel as though I am on the mend now, although in just over a month I will be facing my first mammogram since February and it’s scary. Trying not to think about it.
In the meantime I’m heading out for a walk along the beach and get some exercise.
Tale care of yourselves and I’m thinking of you all.
lots of love from the south of France ??
Rosie xxx
Hi Jem
I’ve got my first herceptin next Monday & then first T on the Tuesday - feeling a bit nervous if I’m honest!
Nails are all ready, hopefully they will be ok…
Well done on starting your rads, the tears will be a good thing - at some point it has to come out or you will have issues later. Saying that I’ve not cried properly yet, but hopefully something will set me off!
That’s good if your hair is coming back this quickly. I’ve only lost a few lower eyelashes on one eye & my eyebrows aren’t much different as yet - maybe T will destroy them!
Hope your rads go well - the main thing I heard is keep well hydrated & use lots of moisturiser!
Lots of love
Jude x
Hi Rosie
Enjoy the last new days of your hols - you’ve done really well with the weather
First mammogram after diagnosis is definitely a bit scary, I keep hearing about scanxiety & I think it sits in the back of everyone’s minds. Thinking of you & sending positive thoughts your way
I’ve kept up my walking & am doing around 6km a day & even started a bit of slow jogging in between - get me!
Lots of love
Jude x
I saw the title of the post and had to reply. I said those very words to someone just the other day!
I found out I had breast cancer in June and 2 weeks ago I had a mastectomy and an expander put in. Since then I feel really well. I am waiting for test results in 2 weeks but I neither look or feel like I have cancer. Do get a bit of pain now and then but that’s it.
Sorry to butt in on the conversation!
I saw the title of the post and had to reply. I said those very words to someone just the other day!
I found out I had breast cancer in June and 2 weeks ago I had a mastectomy and an expander put in. Since then I feel really well. I am waiting for test results in 2 weeks but I neither look or feel like I have cancer. Do get a bit of pain now and then but that’s it.
Sorry to butt in on the conversation!
Hi Tiger72
Good to hear from you,but sorry you are in the club that no one wants to be in!
It is very surreal isn’t it? I feel like I’m in a parallel universe at times & up to press I’m not sure what the answer is in how to mentally accept everything
Hope your test results are all ok - let us know how you get on
Take care
Jude x
Hi Jude,
i feel the same was diagnosed on 11 th sept had surgery 3 weeks ago go back on Tuesday to find out the rest of my treatment plan. And every day I get told how healthy I look
Hi Jude,
i feel the same was diagnosed on 11/09 had surgery 3 weeks ago go back on Tuesday to find out the rest of my treatment plan. And every day I get told how healthy I look
Hi Jem
How are you doing with the rads?
How are you feeling a week on emotionally, hope it has all settled down & you are feeling ok - as they say better out then in!
Take care x
Hi Billie
It is a strange situation we are all in - sorry to hear that you are part of it
Well done on getting through your op ok - let us know what your treatment involves & we will be here to support you
Take care
Jude x
Hello you lovely
Ladies
I hope you are all doing well today. Haven’t posted for a while but I’ve been reading the forum - have spent the last few days conquering my holiday washing and ironing. I also organised friends around for dinner tonight too so have spent the day in the kitchen. Feel like I need my bed now. ? Not such great planning!!!
Jude I hope you are well and not suffering too much with se’s - I’m not sure if you’ve had your next chemo or not. Sending hugs and hope that you are not feeling too low. Loved your lastest blog…it must be so good to hear how we are all enjoying it. Keep up the good work and look after yourself.?
Sending hugs Jem, hope the day is going well for you and that that sunshine is still there. It’s pretty much Autumn here now, although there are some warm days predicted for the end of the week. Fingers crossed. ?
Welcome to Tiger and Billie as the other ladies have said there is a lot of support here and some lovely ladies to cheer you on and give you their advice. Hope the results are good.
Take care everyone.
lots of love from France ??
Rosie xx
Hi Rosie
You’ve had a busy few days - enjoy your evening & then chill out tomorrow (after the after dinner clean up) ?
I had my first herceptin injection on Monday & had no issues, just a long day as had to stay on the ward to be monitored for 6 hours & was then awake most of the night as had to have double steroids prior to the first T chemo !
Chemo went surprisingly well - feeling ok at the minute, no nausea or sickness & am eating normally. I start a week’s course of injections tomorrow to stimulate my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. The district nurse will come & show me how to do the first one. Apparently it’s this injection that can cause severe bone pain so could be interesting!
Thanks for your kind words - I do enjoy putting all my thoughts into words through my blog
Take care, lots of love
Judex
Hi Rosie
Pleased to hear to are ok & still enjoying some autumnal sun - lucky you!
Today I feel like an old lady - I’ve got intermittent shooting pains all over my body & feel like I’ve been kicked by a horse. I’ve also got tingling hands & toes - it is all manageable & to be fair in my mind these se’s are better than feeling sick!
Elaine - congrats on the promotion & having the holidays to look forward to. Sorry to hear about the other ladies diagnosis - it’s strange that it’s almost more upsetting to hear about someone else than it was for yourself. I didn’t realise you were on tamoxifen, hope you are coping ok with the se’s.
Jem - I started with the pain killers today just to keep on top of it & have been moisturising my nails as receomnended! My eyebrows & lashes are going fast now but surprisingly my nails are still growing!
Well done on getting 2/3 of the way through rads without too much trouble, other than the fatigue - you are nearly there!!
Enjoy your daughters birthday, it will be worth every bit of hassle & tiredness
Hope everyone is doing ok - take care all
Jude x
Hi Lisa
Sounds like the inflators are working out ok, hope it’s not too uncomfortable. It must be a bit strange to see your boobs growing like that! Sounds like your hair is looking lovely, can’t wait for mine to come back!!
Keep writing as it will be good therapy for you if nothing else & will be interesting to read back on in later years
Your ramble suggestion sounds a great idea. I live in Huddersfield but do have a walk every day mainly on my own & a bit slow at times but do up to 6km depending how I am feeling
Take care all
Jude x