Feel like damaged goods

Hi ya everyone,
I am new to the site today, I have just turned 32 and was diagnosed with grade two dutoral and tubular breast cancer last month. I had a lumpectomy and the lymph nodes were clear. I am starting my first session of FEC this Monday. I know it sounds stupid but because I am so young I do feel like damaged goods. I am still in the dating game and before all of this I was having a great time out there but now it all seems like I have to put my life on hold for the next year because who would want to date me with all of this going on! Just to add to the nightmare, I found out this weekend gone that my mum has womb cancer that has spread to her lungs and spine. I feel that I am generally a happy outgoing person but when the doctors told us last night about my mums the cancer spreading I just wanted to run out of the hospital and never come back but I know I have to be strong for my mum and family. I cannot believe this is happening, I am not concerned really about me anymore I just feel awaful for my mum. I think sometimes it is worse for the friends and family than the person who actually has got cancer. I was coping with my troubles but don’t know whether I can cope with mum’s also.

Sorry to be a moaning minnie :frowning:


You’re quite entitled to moan, so don’t feel bad, and you’ll get lots of support from this site.

Two lots of awful news so close is bound to make you feel bad… try calling the breast cancer care line - they are really good. I would agree it’s easier for the person with cancer - I’ve certainly found it easier to deal with than my family has, because I know how I feel, they just have to guess and don’t know what to say.

I’m 29, married but no children, diagnosed last month, started FEC on Tuesday. I’m lucky in that I have family and friends close, and my husband has been amazing. I wish you well in your treatment and hope that you and your mum can help each other through this together.


Thanks for replying so promptly:)

How have you reacted to FEC? One of my friends is staying over mine for a few days after just to make sure I don’t keel over :slight_smile: I really hope it does not knock me for six, although my new plasma tv will come in handy. The funny thing is I don’t think I have had a cold in five years, fit as a fiddle (well sort of). Hopefully my immune system is made of good stuff.


Mate…i had just turned 30 when i got dx…lumpectomy, mastectomy and nodes out, chemo, rads, tamoxifen…the works lol…well not quite cos i didnt need herceptin…but as much crap as they could throw at me. I finished my treatment in september. Its a long road…but its dooable…we all feel like crap, useless and whatever else you feel like adding at times. My immune system was hard as nails and my bloods didnt drop at all throughout chemo…always went back to pre-chemo levels every single time. Sounds daft but think yourself invincible (even when you feel otherwise) and that should help.

Hi Morri

I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. I am sure you will continue to receive lots of helpful advice and support from the other forum users, in addition, and as Vicky said you are welcome to contact our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 where you are able to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment. The line is open Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm
Breast Cancer Care have a Resources Pack which you may find helpful to read, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. You can download it from the following link or you can ask for a copy to be sent to you via the helpline: breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514 I hope you find this helpful.

Kind Regards
Breast Cancer Care

Hi Morri

I’m not going to pretend chemo has been easy, but it’s only been 2 days and I’m expecting worse. I suppose if I think it’ll be bad and I can cope with it then it’s better than thinking ‘this’ll be easy’ and it’s not. I agree with Buttons though - think you’re invincible! Having a mate over will be invaluable…just make sure they know they will be getting you everything while you sit and watch TV! I think a load of chick flicks would definitely come in handy…

Good luck!

My friends and family have been great! Chick flicks will be the order of the day.
Did you feel rough straight after the chemo or did it take a few hours to kick in??


Hi Morri… sorry about your diagnosis, you are young… but remember, being young is a good thing. It may mean that doctors will be able to give you stronger meds to fight this, but it is all for the best. It also means you are stronger, and can cope with this.

Also - you are not out of the game. Tell you what: I’ve been diagnosed with a stage 2 tumor, got a mastectomy last august and have been in chemo since (finishing early dec), so I am completely bald since 2 months. I am 44, divorced, and was single… was is the key word here. Even bald, with only one boob (waiting for reconstruction), still… I’ve met a wonderful person, and I haven’t been happier in my sentimental life - ever! A good guy will not stop there, will see YOU and not your current challenge, and will be there to help you. A bad guy… who need a bad guy?

You can still go out, party and enjoy life. It is the best thing you can do, in fact, keeping up your chin and fighting. With the chemo you will be down for a couple of days, really tired - but most likely, the rest of the time you will be ok. When the side effects will hit will depends on what chemicals you are getting: I’ve had Adriblastin and now am on Taxol, the 3rd day is the worse, than it all goes back up. During the chemo I’ve been on vacation on a cruise, I’ve been dating very actively, followed my normal activities (and stayed home from work, blessed), gone out to dinner, tasted great wines, and discovered how great my girlfriends have been at being around me and helping out - not to mention family and all. Now, I just hope to have my hair growing FAST!!!

Hi again!

I felt fine during chemo (I ate my lunch during the Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide). I felt a bit dizzy by the time I got home, so took one of the anti-sick tablets. Eventually managed to eat a sausage, spoon of peas and mash (took about 1/2 hour!) then felt a bit green all evening, before getting acquainted with the loo at 11pm. Slept all night though. Yesterday was bearable, but today I’ve been sick again. I suppose the best thing is that I’m not having a huge amount of warning before being sick, so am not feeling too bad for hours before.

Everyone’s different though - I think I’m being a bit of a baby because I have a phobia about being sick!


Hi you darling girls starting out on chemo,
I had my last one on monday at last. Just to say I had FEC at first - was sick the first night, then felt a bit nauseous for a day or two. I told them and next time they gave me stronger anti-sickness tablets, which worked. There’s no need to suffer in silence, they have lots they can do. I also had Taxol, which was worse on the tiredness front (or maybe just cos I’ve been having chemo for months on end and it accumulates in your system?) I only feel nauseaous on very swervy journeys or if I get overtired or overhungry. Good excuse to keep hitting the crisps and biscuit tin!
For once in your life let everyone cluck around you, and do whatever you want to do. Borrow everyone’s DVD collections. Go out with girlfriends who can walk you out the front door for the first time in your wig/scarf/hat and help you forget it for an hour or two.
I wish you all the very best of luck, health and caring people to support you as you embark on this journey.
Big hugs
Jacquie xx