I woke up this morning feeling ok but now I feel so low and I could cry for a week or more. Had my 1st chemo on the 11.1.08, all went ok but I think the emotional side of it is catching up on me now. Was telling my mum how I was feeling when coming into work and was crying walking through the street.
Went into work and my boss is being very supportive. Has taken me off answering the phones so no one upsets me and if I need to go home I can do. I am not the sort of person that takes time of work for sickness but they have told me not to worry about my sickness record.
Not sure if I am coming down with anything because I ache all over. I know there are alot of colds etc going around. Just hope they stay away from me.
Has anyone else felt this way not long after chemo. Started to feel ok yesterday, eating more, not feeling sick anymore and now feel like this. Want to go to my bed and stay there until this is all over.
You are allowed to feel low. Chemotherapy does lots of nasty things to your body and to your brain, it will get you down. I think you are wonderful going to work, I stayed at home through the duration - however there was a big infection risk, I teach at an agricultural college. Your boss sounds good, take time off to rest if you need, being over tired can make you feel very down, no one is going hold it against you.
I don’t think the weather helps, I was lucky and started in April so did get a chance to enjoy the sun. A friend has lent me a LUX light box, it has really helped me. Keep using this forum, you will get lots of support and words of wisdom, the ladies here have pulled me out of a few holes.
Hang on in there - chemo doesn’t go on forever - hugs Swanie
The worse side effects from my chemo always kick in a couple of days after I’ve had it and I then have between 2 and 6 days with chronic fatigue (the word doesn’t really describe the awfulness)…feeling so exhausted, tired, sometimes achy, weepy, depressed. ‘Fighting’ the feeling can make it worse so I’d say go home to bed and take things as easy as possible for a few days. By the thrid week of your chemo you shoudl be feeling OK again. Everyone is different and you’ll find each cycle follows a similar pattern for you. The first dose is always more scary cause you don’t quite know what the pattern will be.
Just go home and rest, chemo is a b…er with your head, one day you feel OK and think this is easy I can do this and the next you are picking yourself up off the floor.
You have to learn and believe me most of us do - the hard way, that you MUST listen to your body and you head. I have days sometimes when I can’t even get a shower I am so exhausted mentally and physically. Please be kind to yourself - listen to yourself. Go home and rest
Tomorrow is another day and maybe tomorrow you’ll shine
I had my first chemo last Wednesday morning. Was sick throughout the afternoon and then ok. What was not ok was i felt so low. IN a black hole that I couldn’t get out of. By Saturday I felt much better and have improved everyday. Having said that I did have a 10 minute blub this morning. I agree with Swanie that the weather is a real downer. Yesterday was sunny and I went out and felt much better. Today its cold and rainy so I’ve been in watching tv and dwelling on things more than I should.
I am having time off work. I felt mixed about it but my oncologist said if it was him he would take the time off. I have a young family and felt I wanted to keep my energy for them. My boss is also supportive which helps. The way I was last week I wouldn’t have been able to hold it together at work but we all need different things.
Look after yourself. There is so much going on, physical, psychological and emotional and there are no quick fixes but people who know say WE will get through it.
Hi girls,
YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT ive just finished chemo 4 days ago and there were many times when i thought i wouldnt be able to do it but i did and you will to.Do listen to your body (i know it hard ) i though i could just carry on doing my usual things but sometimes i just couldnt the fatigue is hard to describe its not something that sleep can cure but it does pass and you will have lots of good days too .Everything happens so quickly from DX to surgery /Chemo and other treatments that it no wonder that we feel lost and down sometimes . I was told to try and think of chemo as my friend (humm some friend) and that no matter how bad i was feeling, the cancer cells were feeling a hell of a lot worse ,so i tried to look at it like that. I think anyone who can continue to work is great and sometimes it helps to try and do something normal but dont put more pressure on yourself if your not able too, our bodies take a battering through all of this so be kind to yourselves you deserve it.Take any help and support where you can and keep positive there is a light at the end of the tunnel and time does pass quickly . Keep useing this forum youl gets lots of advice and support its realy helped me when ive been feeling low . And honestly before you know it youll be giveing help and support to other ladies who are about to start their chemo .
Take care
Lots of Hugs
Lindiloo xx
Just another one who feels exactly the same as you chrissie - i am usually such a positive person adn when i got dx’d i felt so positive about going through the treatment but since starting chemo i’ve had such low points - i keep wondering if i’m depressed but then the mood lifts again. also, i have chemo brain quite bad and this week have forgotten quite a few things and that has got me down… plus, the dark thoughts and images that keep coming into my mind, it is hard to push them away… i am glad this is only a side effect of chemo and not a permanent state. It will pass, and the messages from those who have been there and come out the other end really do help. Wishing you lots of luck, you are not alone! Carrie x
Hi Chrissie, Sorry to hear you are feeling low. I am approaching my last chemo and it really does pay to listen to your body when you are tired rest, and then you will feel better. My first two I did push myself but soon learnt the best way to start my recovery was to sleep if I needed to whatever time of the day, as getting overtired I was weepy and bad tempered, my partner used to order me to go to bed and rest, as he was in the firing line!!! But I would wake up feeling much better, and found that by doing this my good days came around far quicker than pushing myself to the limit… As the other girls have said be kind to yourself chemo is rotten, but you will get through it, have a good old weep if you want to (I had loads) , you can always come on here and have a good rant, there is always someone to listen, the ladies are so supportive. I wish you well with your treatment Chrissie and anything I can help you with just ask. Will be thinking of you. Let us know how you are getting on.
Love and A Hug
Jillx
Hi Chrissie,
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low…I’m sure by the posts by the other ladies you will see your not alone in your feelings.
I didn’t work through chemo as I work in a childrens day nursery, and as children = germs was not allowed to work…I admire people who manage to work through treatment…BUT …please don’t wear yourself out or expect too much of yourself.
It have been lovely reading all the suport and strenght you all give each other. I am due to start Chemo in the next two week and to be honest i’m really scared. i have 3 young children(1, 4 & 7) and i am getting paranoid that i won’t be able to kiss them just in case i pick up some kind of infection. In addition to that I’m really small and skinny and am scared on how my body will cope with it.
chrissie - i can’t really give you advise as i have not experienced it yet but all i can say is that i have had some real bad days and cryed so much that i’ve drained myself to the extent I need to go to sleep. I do think you must listen to your body as you do when you have a cold or aches etc., Just try and be kind to yourself because if anyone deserves it YOU DO!. .
Sukes,
I have just had my third chemo today - I too was frightened before the first because I had no idea what to expect. I have felt really relieved that it has not been as bad as I expected - maybe I am lucky I do not know. I have a particularly nasty cocktail I understand because I have IBC and I have to have 8 of them. I am continuing to work and I leave a little early if I get tired - I work in a primary school and I have only told the Head and no one else but he has put a scheme in place that he is to be told of any major infection so I can keep away. So far so good but as other people have said - everyone is different. Drink lots of water - lucozade is fantastic for giving that energy boost and have something to eat before the chemo is the advice I was given - seems to have worked! Best of luck - thinking of you
Sukes,
Although I couldn’t work through chemo I still saw my grandaughter who was 5mths old when I was diagnosed, I still went to the supermarket and into town…I was just careful to not have close comtact with people when they had colds etc…,
Don’t worry you’ll still be able to kiss your little ones.
Thanks for the support. I keep getting told Chemo is really bad so i’m naturally and really scared.
Penn- I don’t know what IBC stands for I’ve lost a few brain cells since dx. iknow I have to have 4 lots of epi once every 3 weeks and then 3 lots of 3 something over a two weeks on and two weeks off. Seeing the oncologist on tuesday so will get a better idea of things.
Karen - I’ve told my husband no sex for 7 months just in case of infection - maybe I am actually paranoid now - please help!
I am back to normal now (as normal as I can be considering)
I cant believe how quick it hit me. I got up fine and was on my way into work via train and suddenly I was a wreck. Thank you all for your kind words. It helped a great deal. Probably because we are all going through the same thing.
Hi Chrissie,
You were on day six or seven when you made that post. I checked my diary for days six/seven and I have put things like ‘really yukky day’ 'very down this morning for both my second and my third cycle. By day eight I am writing ‘what a great morning’. It is so up and down. The only thing is I am not going to work. I don’t think I could cope with it. When you feel like that the slightest thing makes you burst into tears.
Glad you are feeling more normal now.
Love Lorna X
hya sukes and Chrissie and everyone, tillie here, some tips for you if they help as i am on my 7th month of chemo and still got more till march and then i think i get 2 weeks off yeheh!! and then radium till June, you have to try and keep your mind set positive even if denial is the answer as it is with me, i don’t have a good carer (meaning my hubby) kids have flown the nest and work long hours so don’t see that much of them, mind over matter helps but as everyone has said you have to listen to your body and rest when you can, cry as often as you want to it helps a lot and i certainly have cried rather loudly at times, imagine this big baby budgie wive fluff on her hair and bingo wings, a little rounder round the middle( steroids do that) lying on the landing screaming her head off, ha ha well that me, and to be honest bugger what everyone around you thinks u are entitled to do this if you feel like it, wearing thermal gloves to your appointments helps as the veins stay up, you can buy some sea bands from boots for your wrists they do help with the sickness, also take the anti sickness tabs even if you dont think you need them cause they help lots too, if you get constipated then ask for lactulose, but i must warn you wait for the explosion lol!! touch wood i haven’t been sick but i think it my mind set,going to work was not an option with me cs i was a cabaret singer and would have been in contact with too many people and would have probably bin knackered to be honest, so i at home, i alright a couple of days after treatment but then the tiredness kicks in, so i try to read till i sleep and a friend bought me some craft stuff which i find helpful as i made all my own xmas cards this year. this site is really good for venting your feelings and so helpful to know other ladies are feeling the same as us, as for the children it ok to kiss n hug them and believe me their smiles you cannot buy, my three cheer me up no end and i hug em as much as i ever did before,i hope you are ok and wish everybody smiles and happiness always,ps if somone wants to buy you a pressie a small personal dvd player is a godsend, you can lay in bed wiv earphones on and watch girlie movies while you rest,
Good email… the thought of a bingo wing child made me laugh…I’ve gone one step further I have told my 3 brothers that WHEN i get through this I want an all expenses paid holiday from them they owe me I’m there sister!