Today I watched my beautiful boy at his infants school leavers assembley.At the end they played a sad song and showed pictures of them over the last three years all enjoying themselves.I feel this overwelming sadness that when it comes to his next leavers assembley I wont be there to see him and my heart feels like it has been broken in two.I am sorry if this sounds morbid, tried to talk to my husband about it but he just dismisses it.
I think sadness goes with the territory. I’ve no idea whether in theory you have a good or a not so good prognosis. …where you are in your own cancer experience. All I know is that cancer makes us all more in touch with our own mortality.
I think that feeling the terrible sadness of the most awful possibility is what helps us to live with its reality should the worse happen. Your husband is perhaps not yet ready to share those thoughts with you.
You are not being morbid…you are being human. I hope you have many many more leaving assemblies.
best wishes
Jane
I think that sadness is one of the biggest emotions in all of this ‘thing’ that each of us experiencing breast cancer endure and my heart and soul goes out to you. Even though we have never met - your words resonate so very much.
As Jane above has said, we are not sure exactly where you are in all of this, howver, the fact that you state that you will not be there to see your sons next leaving assembly tells us that prognosis for you may not be good and for that I feel a great sense of sadness.
So very sorry that you find yourself in such a situation - no words can truely express what any of us feel at any one time given our individual circumstances. All I can offer is that my thoughts are with you and with Jane.
With love Janey x
Just to add - I agree with Jane that your husband is perhaps not ‘ready’ to share your thoughts. My husband too was dismissive when I first talked about the potential outcome for me and I found this both frustrating and upsetting - however, seven months on from diagnosis he is now able to share in my frank discussions about my mortality and this is very helpful.
I hope that at some point in the future your husband will also be able to discuss with you your thoughts, feelings and and reality of your circumstances, and that this will provide the additional support that you so need.
With love - again - Janey x
Hi wooley
If you would like to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling at the moment the team on the helpline will be able to offer you listening ear. Here you are able to share your fears and concerns in confidence with a trained member of staff, who can give you support and advice if required. I am sure the feelings you are having are only natural but can understand your worries. BCC are here to support you so please use us if it will help. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturdays 9am to 2pm. The number is free phone 0808 800 6000.
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards
Sam
BCC Facilitator
Jane and Janey
Thank you for your kind replys,it helped make me feel less alone. I think that you are right with regards to my husband not able to deal with this,but I think it is slightly selfish but I think we all cope in different ways. Today has been a better day,
Not sure where you both are in treatment but I wish you both well.
Thank you
Heidi