Feel totally alone

I’m 34 single no children and feel like my world has been turned upside down. Received the news I had BC on the 22nd June, I’ve since had surgery to remove the lump but have now heard that there are residual cells and further surgery to remove my breast is likely. I’m back at the hospital this Friday to discuss my Chemo options (researching cold cap at the moment does anyone have any experience of this) but this will depend on whether I have to have more surgery I guess so it’s all up in the air at the moment.
I have a strong friends and family network but still feel alone and depressed.

Hi Poppet,

Sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. There are quite a few ladies on here who have had more surgery to get clear margins so one of them may be along to reassure you about that soon and the cold cap as well. Although I have a partner and he has been great, the support from my parents and a select few friends I have told has been of enormous relief, specially the friends. I am sure yours will help and support you too. I hope your meeting on Friay goes well. Take care. LooLoo x x

Hi Poppet

Really sorry to hear your news and totally identify with the ‘being alone’ situation having gone through diagnosis and operation without a partner or children to help focus elsewhere.

Glad you came to this site though as there are so many wonderful people who really do know what you’re going through and can understand. I hope you’ll find the support here as valuable as I have.

All the best for Friday. Lots of love xx

PS: I’ve sent you a PM

Hi Poppet, welcome to the forums,

I am sorry to read about your recent diagnosis, you may find our resource pack helpful as it contains information about diagnosis, treatments and support available, you can order this via the following link:

breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.718/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82

Whilst you await support and information from your fellow users, you are welcome to call our helpline to talk through your worries and have a ‘listening ear’ from one of our specialist nurses on 0808 800 6000, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

I hope this helps a little

Take care
Lucy

hi poppet,
i’m 35, single mum to 11 yr old (tho i feel like i’m married to my mum at the mo…she’s hardley left my house since this started - both a blessing and a nightmare!!!) I underwent WLE/SNB in May and though i had clear margins/nodes have just had my first cycle of chemo (EPI) on friday. As u can see from the pic…i will do anything to try and hang onto my hair (over 11 yrs of dreads!) so i did try the cold cap, obviously can’t say yet whether it has worked but it was worth a try. Its not too bad after the first 5 mins…however due to the thickness of my mop (it is a bit like wearing a wooley hat all the time)… the cold probably didnt even penetrate through which i suppose defeats the object!
Being on here has really helped me, there is so much support from all the ladies and you don’t feel so isolated i hope you find some comfort here too.
xx

Hi Poppet

Sorry you’ve had to join us, but you have come to the right place. There’s so many girls on here, of all ages and situations, that know exactly what you’re going through.

I’m in a similar situation. 28, single and no kids. Was diagnosed in late April (Grade 3), had mastectomy in May and started chemo last week. The whole thing is like a big fat slap in the face, but you will find your strength as each step progresses.

I received some great advice when I joined these forums. One in particular was to focus only on what’s directly in front of you, and try not to (although it can be difficult) get swept away fears about further stages.

I’ve opted against the cold cap, but that’s just personal choice and my oncologist doesn’t favour them. Not lost hair yet, although it’ll come along soon.

Keep in touch and good luck on Friday

AM x

Hi Poppet.
I had my lump removed and 2 nodes (not effected) didn’t have clear margin so had another opp gave me a shaving still not clear margin so had 2nd shaving, still not clear but very intermitaly, there was talk of having my brast off, but they have decided to just give me rads, I’ve had to wait 4 wks now, having my mapping out done on 20th July. 13 sessions plus 3 boosters, but dont know what the differace is.
It’s nice to be able to talk to other, try and find a thread in ur area, a lot of groups have get together .
What area are you from. I’m from Gloucester
Hope this helps
Sunset

Hi Poppet,

I absolutely know how you feel about being alone. I felt completely alone when all this started for me. I have found the women on this forum really helpful although initially I was horrified even to be looking at this website. I’ve met people through here who have taken me out of my own sense of being isolated and alone. I would encourage you to see if there are people in your area of the country who might be in a similar situation.

When I was first diagnosed one doctor told me I would just need the WLE and a second led me to believe that I would need a mastectomy. I was absolutely terrified. In the end I had a further excision and then clear margins. So ask why a further excision is not possible. It is always worth pushing for as much information as possible.

I know life seems like absolute s**t at the moment but things will get better. You will get through the first shock of finding out that you have BC.

All the best and good luck on Friday. We will all be thinking about you.

Arlo

Thanks to all for your advice and thoughts. Following my appointment on Friday I’ve been given a provisional Chemo start date of Wed 22nd July, however I’m meeting with the consultant tomorrow and this could change depending on what she says (still not sure if they advise to remove my breast). I’ve asked for the cold cap and they said this can be arranged so it’s worth a shot, I am however going to have my haircut short to help me prepare for any hair loss, I know it sounds superfical but even to try and retain my hair would give me a massive boost, as I appear to have no control over anything else at least this would help me cope with whatever the next 6 months has to bring.
I live in Manchester and will be looking at local support groups but appreciate any practical advice especially from those who like myself haven’t a partner or kids.

hi poppet,
I’m a manchester lass too and have just been referred to a support group at christies for younger women. Ask your BC nurse to enquire about it for you. I’m going to my first meeting there on friday, i think they meet up about once a month.
xx

Cheers Pixielox, I’ll be sure to ask about the support group at Christies, may even see if I can attend this Friday if I’m not back in hospital myself. x

I’m a Manchester lass also!!!

I didn’t realise that there was the group at christies… I will get the details and come along too! Oooh, thanks for that Pixielox!

Poppet, I’m having my 2nd FEC on the 22nd so may bump into you!!

Bloody hell, what a small world

xx

Poppet,

I used the cold cap through 6 chemo cycles (3 FEC and 3 Tax) - and still have a whole head of hair. I did lose some, but we have a million hairs on our head - so there is a lot to lose.

Bright x

Hello All,

Well as I expected it’s been strongly advised to me that I go for the mastectomy, due to my age and possibility of some lingering nasties I’ve agreed, weighing up the options of 9-12 months of hell compared to another possible 40+ years of life its a no brainer!!! I’m terrified of course and this will also postpone my Chemo (expect it to be around Mid Aug to start now depending on how I heal after my 2nd op)but trying to stay positive and taking one day at a time. Friends & Family have been terrific and going to have a little party this Friday to give ‘Righty’ a proper send off, still unsure how I will feel with 1 breast but like so many other strong women on here no doubt I just will, at least a reconstruction at the end of this nightmare will give me something to focus on.

Please keep the advice and support coming this forum/site is invaluable!

Hi Poppet

So sorry about the news but also impressed at your attitude and obvious determination to get through this.

Lots of love xx (I’ve sent you a PM)

Hi Poppet

So sorry to hear your news re the m-op.Wishing you the best of everything and if there is anything you need to know, just ask.

love

Jane x

hi poppet,
sorry about the results but sounds like your attitude will see you through this. There is another thread myself and AM are on “freinds needed-diagosed early may” Its a long one to read thru but there are a few younger women on there who have had or are having MX, u might wanna pop in and say hi - they are a very supportive and hilariously funny bunch!
Did you or AM get referred to the christies group on Friday? If so, it’ll be great to see you both there.
Have a great party for ‘righty’ on friday.
xx

Hi Poppet

I used the cold cap for 6 x Taxotere. It was really painful for the first minute or so, and then the pain wears off as the numbness kicks in … I reckoned that the 4 hours or so that you have to keep it on for each treatment was by far the worst element of treatment, but the second you take it off the pain/discomfort stops immediately … and then you definitely feel that it’s worth going through that hell to keep your hair (or at least I did). I lost my hair first time round so realised how much better I’d feel second time around if I kept it.

Good luck with everything.

Alison x

Hi Pixielox

I’m not attending the support group this Friday however once my Chemo starts will definately be there, still trying to come to terms with my mx so wanted this week to try and relax and get things organised for next week. Would be interested to hear how you get on though so keep me posted. Will check out the other thread you mentioned too. Thanks.

BFN

My heart goes out to you -I am having an op in the morning and felt so afraid and frightened when I was diagnosed but am fortunate in having a good husband, children and grandchildren. You must try to stay strong and I know it is easier said than done but there is so much more they can do these days !!

Take Care

xx