I met with a different consultant today who had the results of my second biopsy. Confirmed as DCIS and takes up 1/3 of my breast. He said “we can do a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and hope we have big enough margins or do a mastectomy. Which do you want us to do?” He gave me no time to think and when I asked a question about a lumpectomy, which he answered, he said, “so you want that then?” It felt like I was given no time to consider the options and then he took me asking a question as my consent for a specific surgery. Now it’s being rushed through (he was originally suggesting next week) because they missed it for more than a year and it feels like they’re trying to make up for it. Instead, it seems as if I’m having no say over my own body, especially when he said that, even with reconstruction, it won’t look very nice. Just what a woman in her 30s wants to hear.
Sorry to hear you felt rushed. Please call your breast nurse to talk this through. You need to understand the pros and cons of both surgeries. I read somewhere that if you have radiotherapy they can’t do a mastectomy with implant if you need further surgery if the margins weren’t clear.
You can also phone the BCN nurses 0808 800 6000 but they don’t have your full history unless you are able to give all the information.
Have you posted this on the younger women’s thread as I think if you are younger you may make different choices.
So sorry this has happened to you. You dont need to do anything you dont want to. Phine your breast care nurse & tell her you want a mastectomy.
Tell the truth, you felt rushed, asked a question & felt yhat the surgeon picked up on your question about lumpectomy as your choice.
You need to speak up about this. Its overwhelming & peolle change their mind. That’s ok, they will understand.
Do it sooner rather than later; e-mail the breast care nurse this weekend or phone first thing Monday.
Good luck
@joy_ofbooks I would definitely call the number you should have been given for uour breast care nurses. Tell them you don’t feel that you’re confident with your decision. I had 3 attempts to clear out idc and dcis but they couldn’t get clear margins and I’ve now had a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. It should, for my case, have been done first and instead of the 3 other ops. Ask for a different surgeon to talk to you and have a breast care nurse present. Take a friend or family member to advocate for you if needed.
All the best for whatever you decide x
So sorry you’re having this experience. I’m right there with you. I went to see the reconstruction surgeon to see what my options were having been told I was likely suitable for a particular surgery. He had no notes on file - didn’t know if I was having nipple sparing, skin sparing or lumpectomy. I wasn’t entirely sure myself. He looked at me and suggested diep flap was the one and literally wanted the answer from me there and then.
I don’t think they realise how distressing this all is and that we aren’t familiar with the processes and terminology.
I would take the advice others have said and call your breast care nurse and explain what happened. This is stressful enough as it is without having to second guess if the surgeon has your best interests at heart. Wishing you all the very best.
I’ve just re-read your post and really, it’s just an awful experience. We worry about putting the brakes on through fear of not treating the cancer and then have to live with the consequences. It sounds like your diagnosis is pretty much the same as mine. Same sort of area and second biopsy confirmed. I do feel very rushed partly because I believe the guidelines are to treat within a certain time frame to meet NHS targets. I am only meeting the mastectomy surgeon the afternoon before the surgery and really worried we won’t see eye to eye. A friend had a mastectomy without recon and she said her surgeon was horrible making snide comments about her work but it didn’t matter to her as she was ok about not having reconstruction. I so feel for you.
That’s an awful way to be treated. Firstly, it sounds like you could to go straight to a mastectomy and I can assure you that the surgeons nowadays do an incredible job and for me you would never know, even in bikinis. So you do have options, but it sounds like you’re not getting any advice or reassurance which is horrible because it’s such a hard time that of course you need time to process.
However on the flipside, the only thing that I think is good in all of this is that they are prioritizing you and want to get you to surgery quickly. While it seems rushed this is a good thing because one of the very frustrating things that can happen is you could be waiting for weeks or months to have that surgery so maybe they have your best interests at heart, but their bedside manner is just terrible.
Do consider all of the options because there are so many with regards to the type of mastectomy (or lumpectomy) the type of implants etc and it does need consideration. Personally speaking and everyone is different, of course, but, if you can get it all done at the same time (reconstruction) I think it is really better psychologically. I had DCIS but was recommended a mastectomy as it was 7cm and my surgeon thought it would be better.
I will say that in the moment I was wheeled out of the operating theatre I couldn’t get over how seamless an operation it was. I think the big difference in all of this is that the surgeons operating alongside your breast surgeon are plastic surgeons and that makes a huge difference. However you do need to speak to the plastic surgeon and have a consultation so that’s really important whatever route you go.
So I suppose in all of this, I just wanted to reassure you that while the operation is intimidating whatever one you have, outcomes now are really good.
It’s a lot to process, especially being so young and I would also recommend that when you go to the next appointment bring somebody with you and ask them to take notes because apparently people generally can only remember 20% of what is said in a meeting and I certainly found this; by having that person at that consultation will hear and read things differently and be a huge help.
Best of luck and hoping you get a chance to speak with someone with a better bedside manner who is kind and patient.
Mine is 8cm, which is one of the things that concerns me about going for a lumpectomy. The consultant told me it was 1/3 of my breast, so I’m really concerned it’s going to look terrible. However, it is in the lower inner quadrant, which I think might disguise it a bit. He said the outcomes are the same regardless of if I go for lumpectomy with radiotherapy or straight to a mastectomy. He said there’s a 20% chance of needing a mastectomy in the end if there weren’t clear margins.
Pretty much the exact size and situation with the mass in the upper area also about a 1/3 of the breast. During their teams meet they kinda thought mastectomy was better due to size and possibly not getting clear margins and meant hopefully no radiotherapy and no hormone blockers. Had the same thoughts as you, read every single report going read every single statistic going. It’s a roll of the dice and an awful choice. We’ve spoken to someone who had the mastectomy and wasn’t bothered in the slightest about having a reconstruction whereas this feels like end of life as we know it. It’s devastating to some, myself included. We decided that if we went for lumpectomy and used my belly fat ( not got much of it ) and then found margins weren’t clear we were then out of options other than implants - which I didn’t want. Have to keep reminding myself it’s better than losing my life over it but it doesn’t help with the disbelief it’s happening. You are allowed to ask for second opinions. All the very best
You must not be rushed. You can ask for a second opinion or time to consider. Breast Cancer Now and Macmillan are great resources.
I had the wide excision lumpectomy and it was a success and cleared all invasive cancer. I healed well and expected only RT. What I did not factor is when they tell you WLE and RT is as good as Mx they don’t emphasise (or I did not hear it) that this is only with healthy tissue left behind. My margins had pre-cancerous and DCIS and a sample was taken from some random place which showed nasties in early stages so chemo and Double Mx for me although all invasive cancer cleared.
Had I known I would probably have gone straight to Double Mx but it has been a journey and at least my brain has had time to get used to the whole idea.m I went from an E cup to a C and the surgeon did a great job but sadly they must go.
I had staging scans and there is no invasive cancer which can be seen at this time but of course micro cancers can be less than 2 mm and no scan will pick that up so for now I’m content that I’m clearing out all that I know about to reduce the risk of recurrence. I’m kicking the can down the road until they find a proper cure.
It is Risk Management and only you know how risk averse you are. For me it helps to think long term which is difficult when you are in the here and now and each scan and diagnosis spirals.
Strangely it was my chemo oncologist who put it in perspective. “ You could be sitting here post-surgery with no cancer and this is overkill” because of course what was in my margins is out.
The hardest thing I had to listen to on my first consultation was , “you’ve lost control of your life now”… I hated my surgeon for saying it at the time but he was right. I trust him now and have learned to roll with the punches.
I do hope you find someone who can advise you in a way that works for you. Breast Care nurses are also a great resources on this forum or through your hospital.
Sending you so much love at this worrying time. You will get through it xx
So sorry you are faced with this attitude. My surgeon was very kind and said he would look after me. Mine was 4.5 cm and had been missed on mammogram 9 months before. No options given and went straight to mastectomy, which i was ok with, i just wanted it gone. He wasn’t happy to do reconstruction as i was older, and too thin (!!!) to use body fat. I wasn’t bothered but might have felt differently if i had been younger. However, five years on i don’t mind missing a boob, but i miss having a choice of pretty underwear.
I agree with the others, speak to your nurse and do what you feel is best for you. All best wishes to you.
Hi
No decisions should ever be rushed
Please speak to your team again before any surgery date and to the team here
I think its really important to have all the information all the good bits and bad to weigh up your options
This isn’t about targets its about doing what is right for you and outcomes you will be happy with longer term
Good luck
I’m so sorry you haven’t been treated well , this is a major decision to have to make and you need all the information and also all the scenarios . I was lucky that I had a lady surgeon who was fantastic and gave me all the possible outcomes with either surgery but was happy to attempt lumpectomy . I opted for mastectomy which turned out to be the right choice as I had cancer in all four quadrants . However I was given two seperate appointments to discuss surgery and a long appointment with the breast nurse . Go back to your breast nurse and ask for another appointment and to to speak with the breast nurse too .
if you have a lumpectomy the breast tissue moves. My tumour was on the armpit side and about midway up but it moved a long way leftwards. i thought I was a 36 A breast size so small and was very worried. Anyway to cut a long story short they did the surgery and I got a wound infection then had radiotherapy and after a while went and got properly sized at the Queen’s bra shop Rigby amd Pellar in Kensington. i wasn’t wearing a bra but the sizer immediately said 34b and i have worn 34 b every since when i do wear a bra that is. 19 years after I had a new cancer in the same breast. So there’s quite a lot to think about. I was 48 when diagnosed. So it’s very difficult to talk about how someone else would be. I did look at a book on breast reconstruction by MacMillan and the results were pretty bad but newer techniques have appeared since 2003 when I was first diagnosed.
good luck
seagulls
Hi joy-offbooks- where u find yourself is hard. Please feel good about wanting the time to absorb all the information & get to grip with your feelings. I was diagnosed with a very large invasive lobular cancer, with at least 2 nodes impacted. Treatment plan was 6 cycles of aggressive neon-adjuvant chemo, to be followed with mastectomy & axillary clearance. It gave me time to read up on treatments, learn about reconstruction, lymphoedema, etc. Surgery was scheduled. I had 6 weeks between end of chemo & surgery. I was given an US after C3 & C6. Against the odds my tumour had shrunk & at end of chemo my US showed no sign of disease. So I had lengthy session (x2) with my surgeon. We agreed (against her advice) to mastectomy & a node biopsy (removal of 4 level 1). I agreed that if there was any trace of cancer in the nodes, then would proceed with the axillary clearance. She was not “happy”, but agreed. She realised that I had done proper research, understood risk & probabilities correctly. She scheduled the axillary clearance of 6 weeks after my mastectomy. Pathology found micro cancer traces in 2 nodes & removal of further 15 followed as scheduled. She was relieved for me, happy to report that the 15 removed showed no sign of disease. She did the annual mammogram app herself with physical exam & follow-up.
Her response to my decisions have been professional throughout & she appears to be truly invested in my recovery & continued good health - I’m in remission & for her this is very important. Please follow what others have suggested - speak to your team, it is very important that you treatment is both the best available to you, but has your complete buy-in. A xx 
If you go for mastectomy it should look good and you should have more confidence in margins especially with the size. My surgeon didn’t give me the option of lumpectomy because of the amount of DCIS and I agreed. All in all sounds like you would be happier with that option and I think if you research it well you will be v happy with the outcomes.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Dear joy-of books,
You have had a very big decision to make, with quite a blunt surgeon as other have said please contact your breast cancer nurse she is should be there to offering support for you.
Should this be worrying you, please call the breast cancer nurses on this site 0808 800 6000 they are so caring and understanding they will point you in the right direction
Please keep posting, let us know how you’re getting on. Wishing you well with lots of luck ahead.
Much love Tili 
I’ve now asked if I can move my care to my other local hospital. I’ve lost all confidence in this team’s ability, having had a very unhelpful conversation with a nurse today. That, coupled with the missing of my cancer 16 months ago and no willingness to give me additional information about any options available to me mean I can’t bear the thought of being under their care for any number of years. Let’s hope my GP approves my request.
Thanks for updating us. Well done for asking for a second opinion. It’s not easy normally but add in a cancer diagnosis it’s near impossible. But you did it. I think we all have to advocate for ourselves over and over again.
I’ll keep everything crossed that the GP is willing and able to do this as quick as possible.
All I can say is I am so sorry this is happening to you. A lot of people feel this about the surgeons. I absolutely hated mine, and I still (literally) want to kill him. Please consider going to your doctor to talk over the options and what they may mean, in detail. When you are being rushed through like this you start to feel helpless. But you’re not (as I realised only afterwards, when it was too late.) You can always cancel the operation, if you don’t feel confident you understand what’s going on, and you can also ask for another surgeon. Get advice from one of the BCN advisors; find them on this site. They are great, and they will talk to you in person, advising about your specific situation. BTW, I had a lumpectomy, but my sister had a mastectomy, and she says after all the reconstruction she looks fine. Obviously, it’s been a long haul, but she’s now fine. I recommend a book called ‘Reconstruction’ by Rosamund Dean. It is the best thing I found to give you both up to date information and courage. Good luck, and take things one step at a time, if you can!