Morning all! Hope you all had a lovely christmas with your loved ones. I just wanted to pop on to see if anybodies feeling the same or if anybody has any words of encouragement for me, this forum has been such a great source of positivity for me so far so thank you all!
I had a lumpectomy and SNLB on 16th December, recovering well and felt so positive after it that although we still have to wait for results the lump was gone!! And as @foxgem says we are now until told otherwise technically cancer free! I had such a positive outlook up until the day after christmas. I donāt know if its because i was keeping busy before christmas and this is just the christmas blues or because Iām thrown back into the waiting game or post surgery emotions!?
Iāve cut the sugar again as of today and back to eating healthy and drinking lots of water as Iām sure thats possibly contributing to my low mood too! We have been out and about too with our daughters so not cooped up in the house fighting over christmas toys
Any tips welcome and hope youāre all doing well x
Itās probably all of the above that you mentioned, each on its own is hard going, you have them all together and that is a challenge. But you know youāre doing the right things, you are mindful and putting yourself first. Yeaahhh
Keep busy doing things that make you happy, get out of the house as much as you can. When you go to bed think of all the positives in the day.
You must be so thrilled knowing the lump is gone, itās worth a very big HELL YEAH feeling and celebration with a huge
Sorry you feel like this @katie91 I hate to say this but I felt exactly the same Only I had my crash on Christmas day which was no fun for my poor husband. Disappointed in myself for crashing after we all had such positive conversations.
I think after my op I concentrated so hard on recovery and staying the path. Like you eating healthy and doing all the right things and without realising id almost set a target date of Christmas day to feel ānormalā again. The reality was that I still felt sore and when Christmas morning was done, I was able to peer over the fence into the future again. And I panicked! So not normal at all We have a new normal now whatever that is. I guess we find out as we go
I see youāve replied to another posts so Iāll pop over there now xx
Hello and sending you hugs and support. As @Ahbc21 says probably a combination of all these things. Also, your body has been on alert status, even without the diagnosis, all the prep for Christmas, getting things right for the girls, bound to be a bit of a low after. Add in breast cancer diagnosis and surgery and not surprising it has just let out a sigh and said worn out now Getting out is a good thing, I found when I had a low, just getting out and seeing the beauty of the world (and sometimes the wildness of the weather) helped.
I also found for a few months that life after surgery can be overwhelming and sometimes it hits you when not expecting it. Your emotions are heightened.I remember being out with friends having a good time, then suddenly bursting into tears. I think it was because I was so grateful for this time, having faced my own āmortalityā.
Talk to friends and family when you get low, enjoy the simple things in life like a walk and donāt feel guilty if you donāt exercise/eat properly one day. Itās a rollercoaster but the track does get smoother eventually.
Be kind to yourself itās so much to go through. I havenāt had my op yet diagnosed in November. We have had such a year, that Christmas was supposed to be the highlight. It wasnāt totally that. I cried, and showered and put my brave face on for the family. It is healthy to feel the emotions rather than pretend they arenāt there.
I hope you are feeling better today - there is always an extra tension of Christmas being this magical day where everything is smooth - itās a day. You did amazing even if you feel you didnāt. X
Thank you all for your replies, Iām just heading out now with my girls for a couple of hours so Iāll reply to you all later but just seeing your positive words and those of you feeling the same as me (although I wish none of us felt like this) itās so nice to know Iām not on my own!!!
Feeling much more positive already, up, dressed, ready for the day
Hi Katie. I had my SLNB and wide local incision same day as you. Was feeling not too bad until last few days. Just want to be able to drive and go out. (I live very rurally with 3 teenage daughters). The āstinging nettleā pain under my armpit is AWFUL and I have a nasty purple bruise, where my boobs are at their lowest point, that isnāt going away and is very achy. (Checked with hospital via email photos that it isnāt anything wrong). Just want to be mobile properly. A 20 min dog walk up my track is now double time and very tiring. Have only managed it twice. I really hope it has all gone though and I am slightly worrying about going in to hospital on 7 jan to find out. Trying to think about other things instead! At least today was sunny
I canāt add anything more to all the lovely comments and support that have already been said save to add in āthe long viewā
Iām now 4 and a half years post diagnosis and treatment and would just say you are still at a very early stage of your head coming to terms with your diagnosis and treatment. My diagnosis and surgery was in July 2021: it was six weeks after surgery that I absolutely crashed mentally and I donāt think it was a coincidence that it came at the same time as the end of my daughterās school summer holiday, I kept the smile and everything else behind it in check and it knocked me for six!
Breast cancer has taught me so many things: top of the list is patience and the healing properties of time and being kind to yourself
Literally sitting on my sofa thinking all I can do now is be patientā¦ and itās a skill Iāve not yet mastered in life. Iāll be 3 weeks post surgery soonā¦ in another 3 week I donāt know where I will be or what will be ahead of me. So this is the calm before the storm?
Foxgem - I had my Oncoplastic lumpectomy on the 6th August and it took me up until the beginning of December to get my energy back. I still have not started my Radiotherapy due to a large haematoma at the op site which has now been drained 3x so understand how you feel regarding patience something of which I am working on. I am desperate to get back to my yoga class but my teacher will not let me back until after my treatment is finished which I am finding very frustrating. However, I am learning to āgo with the flowā and to try my very best at looking after myself. If I feel tired now I sit down with a cup of tea for a while. If I feel low I try and meet up with friends either face to face or via zoom. My joints are so sore due to the Letrozole I am now taking so I hate walking but do feel better after my husband makes me go out and do it. As others have said try and keep busy, immerse youself in a consuming hobby. If you want to scream do it into a pillow!!! Cry if you need to ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ You will get there it just takes time and one day you will look back on this time and realise that it has made you a stonger person. Take care xx
Thank you for your encouraging words Orchard Itās all very much a one day at a time recovery isnt it.
I am also feeling disappointed my yoga has stopped. Especially since it took me so long to feel I was getting somewhere but walking has been a great 2nd choice for me. I havenāt started hormon therapy yet but I will try to keep that up. It is great that you feel better after I take some encouragement from that also.
A new year challenge for you maybe? A little bit of walking per day? Atleast when the weather is better
I will try to keep going with the flow, one day at a time x
@Ahbc21 thank you so much for your lovely message and you are right all of the above together is ALOT for us isnāt it!!
It really is a hell yeah feeling knowing the lump is gone and I really pushed for it to be removed pre Christmas so Iām extremely grateful for that and alot of other things and the fact I was able to enjoy chrisymas relatively pain free with my daughters and family.
Hope youāre well and wishing you a happy new year xx
Hey @foxgem awww Iām sorry youāve been feeling down too! I think it was probably bound to happen to us at some point
I think youāve hit the nail on the head abut being able to peer over the fence itās abit of reality setting in for us again and after the joy and buzz of Christmas! Youāre right we do have a new normal! Although I absolutely LOVE Christmas I do think this year it will help when I take the tree down tonight and the house has a good clean and organisation! Clear mind and all that.
Iāve had an appointment date through for my follow up on 7th Jan although Iām due to be discussed at the MDT meeting on 6th or 8th so weāll see what happens. I was a little disappointed after speaking with the BCN today because Iād assumed all lumps get sent off for onco type testing so naively thought it would be in the lab being tested but she explained they donāt all get sent so it will be decided at the MDT meeting on 6th or 8th and THEN be sent (which makes a whole lot of sense I just assumed they all went off for oncotype test ) BUT Iāve been on this journey since mid October with lots of waiting and made it through that so I know i can make it through this and I think once normality of school runs and life starts back up in Jan again the days will fly by!!
Hope youāre feeling abit better and happy new year, letās hope its a fab one for us all xx
Hi @bordercat thank you for your message and youāre right I bet my body has been on high alert with everything going on!!!
Iām feeling so much better today and am planning a big walk tomorrow (as much as you can walk with a 2 and 5 year old in tow ) and then back in the gym on 2nd to do some treadmill walking (Iām 2 weeks post lumectomy so Iāll be taking it easy but it will be nice to get back in there!!).
Its nice to know that emotions being up and down are very normal too!! Iām glad to hear it does get smoother. Have you finished treatment now (if you donāt mind me asking?)
@hen thank you for the lovely message!! Iām very grateful that Christmas day pretty much felt like a normal Christmas to me and I really did have a lovely day. I have a 2 and 5 year old so it was very busy and chaotic just how I like it with the family round too but I think boxing day it just all hit me at once and I crashed!! I definitely think the amount of sugar was certainly a factor, Iāve cut right back again and have been getting out and about and feeling so much better!
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis too, do you have a date in for surgery? Hope youāre feeling abit better too after Christmas. You are so right thereās this pressure that Christmas has to be this overwhelmingly magical say, we just tend to get all the family round and slob in Christmas pjās and eat lots
Ahhh surgery twin!! I also have my follow up appointment on 7th too but I really thought that all lumps were sent off for oncotype testing but when I spoke with the BCN earlier today she explained they donāt all need testing so it will be discussed at the MDT meeting which will either be 6th or 8th Jan depending when my results are back, I assumed the lump was already sat their being tested very naively but Iāve waited this long a couple of extra weeks is nothing!!
I think around day 11/12 all the feelings started to come back nd it felt so strange and like you I have a HUGE purple bruise but round the side it looked like a thick black bra strap at one point but has massively improved in the last couple of days! Has your bruise got any better?
Iām trying to keep busy too and just think no matter how much I choose to worry on it will not change the outcome!!
Have you managed to drive yet? Iām self employed with a party business and was back working 4 days later as its our busiest season but with lots of help and absolutely no lifting but Iām still being driven around. My BCN said after 2 weeks I can drive but I might just leave it another week to be safe! Iāve been out working today again with help and no lifting but it feels nice to be able to raise my arm properly and can feel a huge different to working 10 days ago!
Youāll be up that track again in no time!! Iām hoping to get back in the gym on 2nd Jan just some light walking on the treadmill, my daughters are 2 and 5 so there isnāt much walking when we go out for a walk together as Iām sure you remember from yours being that age!
Wishing you a happy new year and hopefully positive news for us both on 7th Jan xx
Hi @adoptedmanc itās lovely to hear from somebody who walked this path before us (although I wish none of us had too!!)
It seems much easier to distract ourselves during big events/holidays doesnāt it and then once itās back to calm ago it just seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks!! Iām thank fully feeling alot better and so much more positive today, all of your comments helped so much and got me up, dressed and out!! Weāve had a lovely couple of days seeing friends, going to parks and relaxing so a nice balance!!
I didnāt know I had so much patience but I suppose during this journey we have no other choice!
I hope life after BC is treating you well and happy new year xx
Pleased to hear you are feeling better in yourself.
I am also.
My surgery date is the 7th Jan. this time next week Iāll be cancer free - thanks to @foxgem writing in a post until we know different.
I had my scout marker put in yesterday and then asked if it would set off the alarms in shop. They said no. But I kinda wanted to take myself to Tesco to self scan to see how much I was worthā¦ I didnāt tell them that though.
So I know Iām better when my quirky humour is back.
@hen oh thatās great not too far away at all, how are you feeling about it? Oh I lived when @foxgem said that to me Iād never thought of it like that!!
Glad youāre feeling better
Haha thatās brilliant and I will also attempt to see how much I cost in Tesco too if we canāt laugh I think weāll cry!! Xx
Iām doing okay. Iāll be nervous on the day, but to be expected with any surgery. Iām having a therapeutic mammoplasty! On right breast and to make it easier for me a breast reduction on the left to match as close as possible to the right breast.
Also lymph nodes look clear - but will have some removed. I have the dye injection on the Tuesday. Itās going to be day surgery in a day unit facility not at my local hospital. Which from this side of it feels better so when I do have follow ups it will be at my main hospital so not linked with the surgery. Also our breast unit care area I donāt have to walk through the hospital to get to it. Iām sure that helps also.
Iām also going to write a letter to my boobs the day before surgery. Of our life journey so far! Thanking them.
Only I had my crash on Christmas day which was no fun for my poor husband. Disappointed in myself for crashing after we all had such positive conversations.
and I have a nasty purple bruise, where my boobs are at their lowest point, that isnāt going away and is very achy. (Checked with hospital via email photos that it isnāt anything wrong). Just want to be mobile properly. A 20 min dog walk up my track is now double time and very tiring. Have only managed it twice. I really hope it has all gone though and I am slightly worrying about going in to hospital on 7 jan to find out. Trying to think about other things instead! At least today was sunny 
) BUT Iāve been on this journey since mid October with lots of waiting and made it through that so I know i can make it through this and I think once normality of school runs and life starts back up in Jan again the days will fly by!!
xx
) and then back in the gym on 2nd to do some treadmill walking (Iām 2 weeks post lumectomy so Iāll be taking it easy but it will be nice to get back in there!!).