Here goes,
I have been on here reading for hours and amazed by everyone’s positivity.
I am sitting here alone after turning down all offers from family and friens to go out.
Since dx iv had operation, with clear margins and clear nodes, grade 3.
I have app to talk about chemo next week.
I find it really hard just talking about that I have this (hence pushing people away)
I am so scared about this treatment and how I will cope with it especially when I am already in the state I am, just wonder and praying that I will be able to muster the courage and positivity that you all seem to have.
Joanne 38 xxx
Hi Joanne, we can all relate to your feelings right now! You will find so much help and support on here and even better to join a thread with other ladies in your time frame of treatment, I am on the April thread with fab ladies having chemo at same time, you will find you will great advice and tips, it’s amazing also where you find strength you didn’t think you had! Chemo isn’t as bad as we all fear, I have managed to work part time through now to round 5 and walk my dogs daily and have very much a normal life, if I could give one bit of advice that’s what it would be- try to keep normality if possible, your results sound positive , good luck with the treatment! Wendy x
Thank you lovewine, only hope I can find that inner strength from somewhere, this is consuming me and do t no how to stop it.
Xxxx
Hi thank you for replys it really helps if only for a bit to have them, I speak to Bc nurse all the time and she just keeps saying you have a really good dx and ur going to be fine. Just can’t stop worrying about how I’m going to cope when I seem to have already fallen apart in every way.
Joanne xxx
Hi Joanne, I did reply earlier but no idea if it sent and think I said I had completed chemo 5, I meant 4! Wishful thinking! Chemo isnt fun but its do able, I promise. Keep a sense of humour with you at all times! I have found SE ok ish…what I have learnt is my chemo gremlins have a pattern…this was from chemo 1 SO I am able to predict them in advance. If you are feeling rough then just think any cancer cells are going to be feeling rougher! You are stronger and smarter than chemo SE, trust me. Are you going to use the cold cap? I didnt want to loose my hair as didnt want to look ‘ill’ and it felt like insult to injury, I had a bilateral mastectomy so body image not at its best! Cold cap is COLD! But I have kept my hair so far. You will cope, I promise. Sometimes its easier venting to strangers or maybe write down how you are feeling. Its a horrid journey but it will end and you WILL cope and realise what a strong resiliant person you are. Niki xxxx
Hi Joanne76.
The fear of the unknown is always tangible but try and stay strong and positive. As the weeks go by the emotions get easier to control. I found that researching into the different treatments helped me to understand better, take control and stay positive.
i will still only share my condition with close and trusty people.The problem with chemo is that it becomes more obvious but there is sooooooo much help out there,so try and take one step at a time. You might only get minimal SEs. Keep strong and good luck with your treatment