Hey I’m new here, age 35 diagnosed with IDC Grade 2 hormone positive. I have constant waves of anxiety sadness and doom. I love my life and have two young children, I would love to hear from anyone who is further along than me, I need positivity but I’m also a massive planner so advice on what I can do to prepare, what can I buy, eat, drink, ask of people, I’m likely looking at chemo and masectomy. Thank you for this community.
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Hi @louise1996 its nice to meet you 
im so sorry for your diagnosis but I’m so glad you found it and you are already on the road to treatment. That wont feel positive but it really is.
I am 39 years old, I have 2 girls aged 13 and 15. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer aged 50 at a routine mammogram 8 years ago so it was quite a shock that I received my diagnosis so much sooner than her. I thought I had more time and honestly I thought I did all the right things to avoid it but it is what it is. My mum had all the treatment. Lumpectomy, chemo, radio and hormone and she’s absolutely fine. I am aiming for the same 
After my initial diagnosis of estrogen positive HER2 negative I had an MRI because my boobs were still considered young and that can mean dense boobs. The MRI found a smaller lump behind which didnt show up on the ultrasound or mammogram so I’m very greatful for the MRI. Ive since had 2 lumpectomys and I am just waiting on the results. I will be having chemo, radio and will be on hormone tablets also.
My timeline so far is: initial appointment in October, official diagnosis 3rd November, 1 week later MRI, lumpectomy 11th December (6 weeks wait for results which seems standard) 2nd op 5th February.
So unfortunately you do have a lot of sitting and waiting to do. The best advice I can give you is to keep busy and try to keep life as normal as possible atleast up until any operations.
Before all this I suffered with really bad health anxiety and I wont lie this has all been a struggle. It was like a living nightmare but being here on this forum helped so much. I reached out to a local group on facebook which also helped and I managed to sort out some counselling. The worst part about it all is the waiting. So I keep myself very distracted. I binge watched tv series (I became a trekky! Very random but I loved it being so different from real life) I’ve got new walking boots and I walk miles whenever I can, I’ve read lots of books including some cancer related books, I’ve listened to lots of positive cancer podcasts and I’ve been eating super, super healthy, refined sugar is basically gone and I include lots of herbal teas into my day. I try to eat as little processed food as possible and if it says somewhere that it will help boost my immune system or help kill cancer then I eat it 
Getting yourself healthy is going to be really important. Lots of good foods and hydration.
Try not to Dr Google anything. You can type in the search bar on here and you’ll find much more useful info and real stories from real people
Sending you big hugs
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Hi @louise1996 I am sorry that you are having to go through this! But fantastic that you got your lump seen and have been diagnosed and on the treatment path now! I was diagnosed in September and have my last round of chemo today and then lumpectomy next month 17th March.
I LOVED my life I am 39 I dont have kids though, but I was out every weekend for brunches, theatre, visiting friends and had been to Costa Rica on my own last year, just living my best life! And I am 100%! Planner so hard to postpone alot of the plans I had in for the rest of the year. But its just giving up a part of your life a number of months so that you can get your whole life back with your kids! The breast cancer world is beyond supportive and the breast care nurses / chemo nurses / doctors in my experience have been amazing!
I live on my own so have had to ask for help a little more,thats the important thing to include family and close friends in this journey so they can help you and understand if you are having a bad day and just need to scream or cry on the phone.
Before I start chemo I did alot of batch cooking for the freezer. But the final half I have just treated myself to M&S ready meals the week after chemo, alot of my October chemo girls have done the same thing, just dont put too much pressure on yourself.
If you have any other questions or need to talk then I am here!
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Hi Louise, I’m so sorry you are going through this too but you will get through this.
I was diagnosed a year today with Grade 2 IDC oestrogen positive and her2 positive.
I had a lumpectomy in March , Chemo started in May then radiotherapy in September.
I have a Herceptin injection every 3 weeks, I’m currently sitting at hospital as I write this waiting for my injection. I also take Tamoxifen daily for 5 years.
The thing I’ve found helps me lots is walking even if it’s just short walks depending on how I feel.
I try to eat healthy as much as I can but do still have treats 
.
I cold capped and although my hair thinned a lot there are no patches and I don’t think you would notice if I didn’t say.
You will get through this rubbish journey, I have good days and bad days. The worrying thoughts are with me daily but I do try to put them in a box when I can.
I have an 11 year old son and this diagnosis has had me thinking about the future and it’s hard not to be anxious, but I try to stay positive.
Here anytime if you have any questions along the way. I always find it helpful talking with someone who knows what this feels like.
Sending you love and positivity 
xx
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Hi thank you so much for getting back to me and being so open and for the advice, it’s hard to feel normal with this hanging over me and the unknowns at each stage, I thought I would have lumpectomy but I think it will be masectomy because the size, I’m scared about losing my hair with chemo even though I know in the big picture that doesn’t matter and just losing my identity and living life in a carefree way like before, I don’t know what to tell my boys, I’m usually so active with them so it will be hard to step back, I think getting lost in tv and books is a good idea, I also want to be healthy but honestly my appetite has been gone since getting the diagnosis. Hearing from others going through the same makes me feel less alone in this, thank you
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Hey thank you for getting back to me I massively appreciate it! How have you found the chemo process? Do you have any tips or advice? I’m so keen to get my timeline and start moving forward and out of the darkness post diagnosis, I long for the day I’m out the other side, it sounds like you have taken it in your stride and that gives me hope
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Hi Erica thank you for your reply, it really helps hearing from someone who was in my position moving forward, how did you find strength on the dark days? How was the cold cap? I’d like to try that as I feel like my thick red hair is part of my identity even though I’m worried it sounds vain and I know ultimately I just want to be well, I’m scared from everything the media and society has told us about cancer and I’m trying to re process it in my mind as something different, curable, a chapter in my life and something I will be stronger from. How did you find family and friends responses? I don’t want people to treat me differently but at the same time I can get annoyed when they don’t acknowledge it
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How old are your boys?
My girls were ages 3 and 5 when their Nana went through chemo. We didnt live with her which changes things but we didnt really tell them anything at the time. They didnt even question her head scarfs, just said how lovely they were. Our only rule was no kisses for Nana as she’s been a bit poorly.
Fast forward to them now ages 13 and 15, they were so positive when I told them everything. Ive not kept any details from them but kept a nice positive spin on things. Yes I found a lump but how lucky am I to find it now they will fix it. That kind of thing. They’ve seen me upset and scared at times but open and honest conversations have got us through.
From what I have read here having our kids demanding normality actually helps sometimes. We will find our mum strength 
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Hi again @louise1996 I just want to say worrying about your hair isn’t vain and is completely valid. I’m starting Chemo in a couple of weeks and honestly it’s all I think about! I’ve got thick curly hair too and the thought of losing it is horrible, I’m trying to eat as healthy as possible and really look after it and will definitely be trying the cold cap to try and save asm much as possible. Since being on this forum I’ve seen a whole different side to BC and actually the whole process hasn’t been half as scary as I thought it would be! Xx
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@louise1996 the hair loss was the big thing for me too, when they said I had to have chemo that was the thing that hit me. I did try cold capping for the EC but unfortunately for me after round two I lost alot on the top of my head and not the sides, so I made the choice to stop cold capping after EC3 and shave it all off which tbh felt amazing as I wasn’t find hair everywhere. But I know lots of women that they have only thinned out. I also know alot of women with children that had wigs ready so it makes it a little easier having thay prepared. I’ve worn head scarfs, and woolly hats, I havent gotten a wig, and being on Docetaxel it seems to have started growing back already have nice baby hair coming through, really lovely to see it growing back when coming to the end of this. A couple images below for you, along with me a week before chemo having a trip to Rome, having my 2nd to last chemo, hair gone and me ringing the bell yesterday completing chemo
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Hi @louise1996 welcome to the group that none of us would choose, but which is an invaluable source of knowledge, comfort and care when we most need it. Sorry that you have to be here, but you are among friends now.
Regarding support from your friends and family. You may well be really surprised at how people show up. There will be those that really lean in, and those that shrink back. I think a lot of it is about their ‘stuff’ around cancer, and their inability to know what to do or how to respond. Tell the people that matter what you need from them. Forgive the ones that can’t deliver. Learn to be ok with asking for help if this is something you normally find hard to do.
If your children are old enough, then a bit of teamwork will be great for them to feel helpful. If not, just being unapologetic about the times when you might need to just prioritise your own needs over theirs…and not feel guilty about it. Rest and replenishment will mean you can then give more of yourself on the good days.
Let’s not dress this up. There will be days when you feel rotten, but if my experience is anything to go by then they are fewer than the times when you feel ok, or even sometimes forget that you’re having treatment. I found there was a rhythm that I could predict in terms of good weeks and bad weeks.
Eat what you like when you like. Sign up for a ‘look good feel better’ course (free cosmetics, whats not to like?). Also there is a ‘someone like me’ mentoring service that you can use to find a mentor who has travelled a similar path.
Think one cycle at a time, one week at a time, one day at a time, even one minute at a time if need be. Trust your resilience. Reward youreslf regularly and have a vision of what you intend to do when treatment is over. For me, it is a slap up fish platter and a glass of wine at a lovely coastal seafood restaurant.
You are going to be surrounded by lots of fantastic professionals who will take charge and support you. There is a constant helpline available to you and you never have to worry alone. Pus, we’re here to support too…we are on the inside. We all get it. Everyone has got your back. Breathe and believe. XXX
Ps sorry for the essay!!!
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@Jaygo I always love reading your messages of support
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Congratulations @tessie86 and thank you for sharing your pics. You look amazing in every one!
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I love your essays,@Jaygo! 
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I felt the absolute same about my hair and it’s not vain, our hair is so important and a big part of us and how we feel.
The cold cap is not pleasant but it’s doable. The first 10 minutes I found the most uncomfortable then after that I got used to it. The main thing I found helped was wearing a soft headband across my forehead so the cap did not dig in, I also took paracetamol before.
I have still lost hair, this happened around 6 weeks after my chemo finished. However it only thinned with no bald patches and is now growing back quite quickly. So I’m pleased I did the cold cap.
On my bad days when my mind starts to wander I try to keep busy and stay off Google, it’s difficult though.
I also feel frustrated with friends and family too as they often think that as my surgery, chemo and radiotherapy now complete that I’m ‘better’ now! Which couldn’t be further from the truth, still having hospital visits, tablets etc…
I sometimes feel more overwhelmed now than when in the midst of treatment.
I’m sending you lots of love and positive vibes. You will get through this, it’s amazing how strong we can be.
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Hi @louise1996, I’m really sorry about your diagnosis. I completely understand how you feel. I was diagnosed last June at 39 years old with three children (7, 5 and 1 at the time). I was living a very full, busy, active life which I loved, so your post really resonated with me.
I have to say that, for me, the time between diagnosis and starting treatment was the worst. I had a period of around 6 weeks while I had further tests which showed further tumors and calcifications and then my consultant was off sick and I just felt in complete limbo with no clear plan or start date for my treatment. This was the hardest time for me. I weirdlyfelt a sense of relief once I started chemo at the end of July and in my head I saw it as starting the road to recovery.
Chemo was tough but I really want to reassure you that it is doable and there are good days. I had chemo every three weeks and I would feel pretty exhausted and groggy for 5 or 6 days and then I would feel back to normal for the next two weeks. I had been really anxious about how life would be with young children, especially over the summer holidays, but we really were able to make the best of it and enjoyed lots of days out and a couple of UK breaks instead of our planned holidays abroad.
It isn’t vain to worry about your hair. It’s a huge thing. I cold capped throughout my treatment. The first 15 minutes is really tough but you get used to it. Unfortunately, I lost around 60-70% of my hair so I still ended up wearing a wig but I finished chemo at christmas and it is growing back so quickly! I never gad ang bald patches because even as it thinned, new hair wasxalready growing through. I managed to get away with just wearing caps for the first couple of months. I was recommend the Aveeno Cider Vinegar shampoo and conditioner and also UKLash eyelash and eye brow serums. A satin pillow case and wide tooth comb too!
I found it so helpful when friends and family would cook meals for us during my treatment weeks so if people offer to help then definitely suggest this! It makes the evenings so much easier when you’re tired. We also planned for help with the school runs during these weeks and childcare for my youngest when my husband was at work. This meant I didn’t need to worry about getting myself sorted in the mornings. I would just get the kids ready and out the door!
I’ve just had a single mastectomy so I’m recovering from that at the moment. This time last year I would never have imagined where I am right now and I honestly felt like my whole world had fallen apart when I was diagnosed. Of course, there are dark days and there have been lots of tears along the way but there have also been good times and I have been shown so much love and care and support. More than I could have imagined.
Sending you love and here if you have any questions x
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To every woman walking this difficult road:
You are stronger than you know, braver than you feel, and more resilient than you ever expected to be. This journey may shake you, but it will not define you. Hold on to faith — in your body, in your spirit, and in the people who stand beside you.
Even on the hardest days, light still finds its way in.
Even when you feel tired, hope continues to rise.
And even when fear whispers loudly, courage shows up quietly and steadily.
You are not alone.
You are held, supported, and surrounded by love.
And you have every reason to believe in your healing and your future.
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Beautiful words. x
Thank you
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Hi Louise,
I’m so sorry this has come your way, it is a bit of a blow. What size is your tumour? I was stage 2 hormone receptive, diagnosed in January 2025. Two tumours (one hidden) and eleven lymph nodes removed on 11th March 2025. Fifteen rounds of radiotherapy ending with ringing the bell 
on 11th June. All fine, didn’t even cry, the worst aspect was the waiting each time for any results to come through… but the care from both the NHS and the private health sector (where I was advised to go for the radiotherapy, PURELY because you can pick your appointment time, which you can’t on the NHS) was exemplary.
I am now on Ribociclib, which is a highly targeted for of chemo, which prevents new cancer cells from mestastisising BUT is comes with its own problems and side effects, which can be similar to the usual chemo.
I totally agree with the others saying about reading and Netflix to take your attention from the C Word.
However, the MOST important part to remember is HAVING BREAST CANCER DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN DEATH!! The treatments and surgical procedures available now are better even than five years ago. You will be fine, you will go on and you need to be positive to your children in that light, that you can and will be treated.
The word ‘cancer’ is slowly losing its knee jerk reaction of ‘death’ due to the huge advances in technology and research and the increasing numbers of people surviving and totally beating cancer. Which is fabulous!
Go with the safety net you see now in, keep yourself well fed, despite your lack of hunger, take a multivitamin, drink water, walk if you can (with your children) even if it’s a short walk during which you can stop and rest by looking at plants 
flowers in season, a view, anything that might take their attention, the while allowing you a breather.
The cancer nurses and THIS FORUM will answer ALL your questions and concerns, so there’s no need to be in the dark and fretting on any topic you have in your mind.
Don’t worry, this too shall end… 
see you on the other side!
Huge warm regards
Melanie xx
Ps the photo was taken with my radiotherapy team after I’d rung the bell
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