I’m so glad I found this forum. I’ve been reading on here for a while but only recently posted. I hope it’s ok to vent here…
I’m just feeling really sad at the moment…it sounds silly but I just feel like I’m stuck between two bad situations right now regarding my treatment. I’m almost finished with neoadjuvant chemo, but have been getting really painful nerve pain all over my body, which is apparently due to nerve damage.
So now I may have to decide to stop treatment or risk permanent (if I haven’t already) nerve damage.
It’s bad enough that I can’t really do anything. Can’t sit. Can only stand or lie in bed.
Just wanted to share my feelings with anyone who will listen. Up till now I’ve been very upbeat. I just feel really down right now. Thanks to all who read this.
@jayp sorry you’re feeling poorly and low, it’s fine to vent on here we all do it! Maybe you could speak to the BCN or oncology about options? I’m only half way through chemo and it’s very hard at the moment!
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment.
Unfortunately I’m not able to offer any lived experience advice but I’m sure some ladies who have experienced similar will comment
I just wanted to say it’s OK to feel low despite our very human and natural desires “to make the best of our bad situation” and “stay positive” sometimes we end up making ourselves feel worse by telling ourselves we “should” feel this way or that.
Breast cancer has taught me so much, one of which is learning “to ride the waves” there will always be days when life feels easier which will in the long run outweigh the days and times when it feels hard
Hi Jay, I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way and it’s great that you reached out. This is a safe space to vent most definitely. I wanted to share with you that your post helped me to accept my own low feelings at the moment. As another person said, we are programmed to “make the most of things”, and “be grateful for what you have”, and I think we sometimes interpret that as meaning we can’t have a bad day when we cry at everything and just feel overwhelmed and fed up.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that it is okay to have a shitty day, and if we accept that then recovery is easier. Sometimes putting a brave face on things is actually the worst thing you can do. If you accept that you’re going to feel crap for a short while, your strength will return. I’m not advocating wallowing, but, as my therapist says, hitting pause and just feeling what you feel can be extremely helpful.
Thank you Emily. I totally agree, it really helps to feel the emotions rather. Talking to others here has also helped. I’m glad my post may have helped you in a small way
Evenings are definitely worse. I’ve actually started playing calming YouTube videos on my tv at bedtime One of my favourites is a fireplace setting, with rain in the background and a purring cat. I know this sounds crazy but when I put it on now I know I’m actively trying to relax.
But I think @EJBSinger is right. Putting time aside to feel all the feels just to get them out your system. I always worry that if I do this I might never feel happy again. Like a tsunami of sadness will just continue to pour out of me! But I’m certain it does us good to get it all out. My therapist keeps telling me to journal, to write it all down. That’s on my list also.
Sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope you find some relief soon.
Thanks foxgem. I’m feeling a bit more optimistic…I’ve got my fingers crossed that my symptoms will start to improve in a few weeks. It helps that we’re skipping this week’s chemo. I have a feeling we may just stop altogether and move to surgery…since I only had 2 left.
One of my favourites is a fireplace setting, with rain in the background and a purring cat. I know this sounds crazy but when I put it on now I know I’m actively trying to relax.
