Feeling completely overwhelmed


I am new on here so hoping for any advice or words of reassurance.

I have just been given my results on Thursday after a biopsy and they confirmed Breast Cancer and so now waiting on the HER 2 result but they have provisionally booked me in for a week Monday for the lumpectomy.  I feel like I’m pretending it is all okay and putting on a brave face and keeping busy but really I am petrified and am hoping I have the strength to get through all this.  It all seems to have happened so quickly, within weeks.

I’ve stepped away from work for the short term and they are supporting me 100% so good that I can focus on me and the next steps.  I am feeling much more anxious this week awaiting the HER 2 result than I was last week waiting on the biopsy result.  I actually feel physically sick when I stop and think so at the moment I’m just keeping going as if everything is all going to be okay.

i have suffered pain in the past as I lost my daughter in 2009 to Swine Flu, she was 8yrs old and it took me a very long time indeed to get to a place where I was able to function again.  I have my 16yr old son supporting me as he did through my grief but I do worry about him and hope he can stay strong.  He has just popped his head through the door and told me off for being on the computer so late in the evening.  Love him to bits and he has had to deal with so much at such a young age.

I have a truly amazing sister who has just been and stayed with me for the week (she lives 2 hrs drive away) and a network of friends who are here to support me.

Will post again once I have the HER 2 result on Wednesday.



Dear Andrea,

So sorry to hear your news, however you have come to the right place, lots of lovely ladies around to help you through……any time of day or night, just pop a note on and someone will come and have a chat for me when I was first diagnosed, like you can’t believe it happening, found this site  I was able to unload my feeling at any time.

Will be thinking of you, please keeping posting, let us know how you are getting on. Hopefully you will have a nice day, with your outstanding son. 

Good luck for next Wednesday. Big hugs Tili :rainbow: x


Hi, just reaching out to offer any support I can at this worrying time for you. Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement, at times it feels like it is all totally consuming! I had mastectomy 5 weeks ago and now waiting for appointment to see oncologist for possibility of chemo……it’s the waiting for results or appointments that is the hardest.

Its good that you have family around  to support you, but sometimes it’s good to offload onto this forum as it can feel like you’re overburdening those close to you with your worries and concerns.

So sorry to hear you have suffered the loss of your daughter, it seems like your son is doing his best once again to be strong for you and protect you……he sounds great.

Good luck for Wednesday, sending good wishes x

Dear Andrea

Big hugs coming your way.

My only advice is take everything step by step.  Try to focus on facts rather than what if’s …… it’s a horrible time.  Take comfort and support from family and friends.  I also worried about being strong enough - we women have great strength in us but be kind to yourself.  Shout, rant & rage, have a good cry but then look for something beautiful or listen to some lovely music.

can really recommend Adriene yoga on you tube.  She has a session for anxiety.  
Wishing you all the best for the next part of your journey.


Hi Andrea

This is such a supportive place, everyone is so lovely. It’s a total shock isn’t it but eventually you do get your head around all the new language and begin to understand it. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you. It’s good you have a supportive son and network around you.

I had a lumpectomy and 3 lymph nodes removed last Monday. The operation isn’t bad at all and there is very little pain afterwards, it’s more discomfort really.

I would definitely get some soft, non-wired sports bra’s in a larger size than you would normally buy. They must be comfortable and not be too tight. I bought some front fastening bras from Sainsburys. You need to wear a bra to aid recovery.  I would also suggest whoever picks you up from hospital brings a couple of pillows to make the journey home a bit more comfortable.

I also had a small heart shaped pillow that I took into hospital with me and found it great to put under my arm - it gave great comfort and support and was nice to protect that area slightly.

At night I struggled to get comfortable as I find sleeping on my back really  tricky but again, I used a  pillow under my arm and lay on my left side  and that seemed to work for me. 

You will be fine, the doctors are highly skilled and explain everything.

I had to wait for my HER2 results too. 

Please keep posting

Lou x

Hello there Andrea

I am on the first stage of this journey too, diagnosed 15 June. I too was scared stiff waiting for the HER2 result, I think because that was the only time chemo was mentioned, and I think it was just something to cling on to, one of the early pieces of pathology they shared with me. Well, a few weeks later I am four weeks recovered from a mastectomy (decided I wanted to be sure they go it all), and am HER2 negative, which was such a relief at the time.

I am only now getting my head around all this - those first few weeks were just a blurr, I read forum posts and nothing seemed to be real. But now I think I would decribe my feeling as numb (physically yes from the mastectomy and the wonderful drugs they gave me to keep the pain at bay, but also in my mind). 

I personally find knowing as much as I can all the different scenarios is a great help and my docs and nurses have been very good at humouring me with this and telling me everything I want to know. I hope you are finiding your way along this road, and remember we are all here for you.

Hi Andrea, 

How did you get on Wednesday? Know exactly what you mean 're overwhelmed xx I have my lumpectomy tommorow and am scared as hell! Hope your doing ok :yellow_heart:

hello ladies 

just thought I would pop by and see how you are doing and offer my experience of mastectomy. I was surprised that after three weeks I felt pretty normal. It was still a bit numb but could do all the usual things, just not lift anything heavy. The first couple of weeks I did think I would never feel the same again, but it does which was a relief. The fourth week I did five hours a day at work and was ok, but knackered at the end of the week so take it steady. I enjoyed work, was a good distraction.

So was nicely getting back to normal and the pesky cancer cells were found in the lymph nodes so I have now this week had an axillary node clearance. Having gone through the other op I feel confident I will feel normal again on three weeks. 

Be kind to yourselves and ask any questions, I’m happy to help. Stay strong and binge on crap tv.


I was diagnosed recently too and understand how you are feeling. While no-one can take your worry away, I can offer some comfort in that it is easier to deal with once you have the results, and can focus on your treatment. It sounds like they caught it early enough for a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy which is a positive in what I do understand is otherwise scary because it is all new and happens fast. 

What helps me is to focus on the positive, but not deny or not allow my feelings. You can’t change your diagnosis but you can focus on the fact that the cancer has not spread further. Start by visualising yourself as a fighter and survivor and take this step by step until it is behind you. Use this forum as much as you want. Talk about your cancer with other women, you will be amazed by how many have been through this and out the other side. I hope we can all support you, albeit in our ‘virtual’ community.  Sending a big, enveloping hug to you.  You will be ok.