Hi Guys, Help
I’m at a very scary place at the moment. Those of you who know me will know I’m diagnosed Aug 05, lumpectomy, mastectomy, chemo and yr of Herceptin. This finished in Feb 2007 - AM FEELING REALLY LOW AND SAD AT THE MOMENT.
I’m not sure if its the winter, but I’m having negative thoughts again, in fact last night I dreamt the dreaded br ca had returned. I’m not sure why I’m feeling so low, I live in a house with 3 men (husband and 2 sons 21 and 18) and am back to feeling like a cook and bottle washer/maid.
I would have thought after such a near miss experience that they would cherish me even more, well they did in the beinning but now its as if it never happened and I’m back to feeling very PUT ON, holding down a very responsible job and keeping house going.
I’m yearning for some time on my own just to be me, but that’s difficult at the moment, my husband has just been told he’s to be redundant after 24 years with the same employer.
Life just seems so hard at the moment, I’m considering seeing my GP for some ‘happy’ pills, cos I just feel sad.
HELP you guys - is this normal after 2 years post all treatment finishing, I just don’t seem to get back to my old self.
I am sorry to read you are feeling so low. Please feel free to call our helpliners who are here to offer you more support and a ‘listening ear’ on 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2. I hope this is of some help to you whilst you await support from your fellow users.
Hi Clemy
It sounds like life is really tough for you at the moment and you are feeling out of control right now.
The facilitators always suggest phoning the helpline but I wonder how many people actually do. I have phoned them on numerous occassions and found them very supportive, helpful and were able to help me see a little more clearly. It’s worth a try Clemy.
It may be that SAD time of year, but I can understand how you are feeling. You have been through a really traumatic event and although it is over you are still reliving it day in and day out and in your eyes how dare others move on when you cant. The thought of going through that all again is haunting. Is there anyway you can have some time on your own, visit or stay with relatives or freinds. You have to think about number one here and tell your family what YOU need. They are all old enough to look after themselves for a few days.
I have been on antidepressants for 5 weeks now and they have really helped. I feel less anxious and more in control. I was against taking them intially but now see them as for the short term. They really help you through that difficult time. can you suggest some counselling to your GP.
Please consider going for some counselling. It sounds like you’ve got some reason to feel low and maybe it isn’t to do with the cancer. It isn’t unusual after a life threatening illness to find lif more precious and to want more from it, and I guess you’ve got more of the same old thing. It may be that your men are treating you ‘like normal’ because they want you to be ‘normal’ i.e. well and they’re just getting it wrong with what you need. counseling would give you support and a chance to talk things through. It really helped me, my partner just couldn’t cope with my cancer and I was ending up taking care of him!
My love to you.
Sorry you having such a rotton time just now. Ask your bcn to refer you to a counciller. I saw one and it helped, just someone neutral to listen to your rant and rave, getting all those emotions out of your system. We all go through so much from dealing with the initial dx then surgery and the treatment, and then we have to deal with the after effects of it all.
I feel that some people think because you look well and x amount of time has passed since your treatment then you should be on top form, we as bc victims know that is not the case so please try and talk to someone. take care.
it took about two years for the emotional impact to hit me as well. i “coped” so well going thru all the treatment, fought my way back to work in extremely unsupportive workplace, but then developed a minor health problem and spiralled down and down. i became overwhelmed with fear and panic, it was truly horrible.
…partners, families and workmates just forget i think…you look OK and they just want to put it all behind them and go back to normal. my partner was terrified by the whole thing and refused to have anything to do with family support groups etc…probably because going along would have meant admitting how scared she was. i’d be interested to know what other people’s experience has been…
Oh yes ! I can relate to to all the feelings expressed. I finished treatment in October and am now working full time. I am finding this very difficult and feel very emotional and sad about it today. I would really like to work less hours but cannot financially do this. The job market is not great at the mo so nothing about to move to. Yes, I find everyone about me thinks 'shes ok, cancer has gone so why is she moaning’and the moaners about me are worrying about trivial things. I have tried peer support and it was good but spoke to her on a day off when I was quite chilled out. My mood is up and down like a yo yo. I am on loads of happy pills etc as suffered depression before bc. When i am not working I do feel better.
Hi, I really sympathise - I’m up and down most of the time myself. I returned to full time work in January on a phased return but really struggle to maintain my composure sometimes (I’m not particularly diplomatic myself and I can well imagine how difficult it must be for some people to know what to say but sometimes some people can be really insensitive - and it drives me mad!). On top of work, my OH and I have at times barely spoken to each other over the last few months since I finished chemotherapy, which only exacerbates my mood swings. Unfortunately, I appear to have become increasingly intolerant of people and, some may say, incredibly selfish, which again just makes me even more depressed…
Thanks for all you replies guys, it has helped. Its good to know that there is not just me - I can’t believe why I’m feeling like this after 2 years post treatment finishing.
I’v spoken to a doctor colleague (I work in a GP Surgery as finance manager)and he recommended a few things.
I think I need to sit my ‘men’ down and talk to them all at once as to how I’m feeling and what my needs are.
Thanks again
be in touch let you know how I’m going
I echo all the sentiments that have been said. I haven’t been on the forums for a while, (finished treatment, a year gone october), you try to move on and put things behind you, but the side effects from the tablets, the visual scars, the hospital appointments, the fear that comes back with avengance if you get the slightest twinge or lump, just does not seem to subside. You just tick along coping with the everyday things, and then you hit a wall you have to climb up. Well I hate climbing. But it is nice to know some people do know exactly how you feel.
Hello, new to this site - I’ve never actually been to any support groups or spoken to either a professional or other sufferer since I finished my treatment 6 years ago (other than six monthly checks at local hospital which last about 10 mins max.)I would just like to let you know that i feel down, very smiliar to yourself now and again, and more so recently. I wonder if maybe I should speak to someone, professional or otherwise but due to personal circumstances i.e. work and child care commitments I seem to have to tell people where I’m going and for what and I don’t want my family to have to go through any more than they already have. I’ve probably registered on this site because it means that I can talk to people without having to explain myself to anyone. Thanks clem, for being brave enough to explain how you feel even after some years.
Hi Trigger,
You have come to the right place,we all understand how low this disease can make you feel.
I am only 8 months post op but have been diagnosed with mild depression which I got under control with counselling but since returning to work I am sinking down again!
People who haven’t been faced with their own mortality have no idea what it does to your head!
Please feel free to come on here and moan,rant,laugh or cry.We understand!
Dot
xxx