My sister has been diagnosed with stage 2 her2 breast cancer Tuesday, Im devastated for her as she doesnt drink, smoke an I have done. We both got checked an I was clear but rather than relieved I feel incredibly guilty!! Is this normal??
Dear clewer,
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of your sister’s diagnosis.
You might find it helps to talk things over with one of our helpliners. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000. Calls are free and confidential.
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
thank you I will try the help line cause my family dont talk about emotions or feelings an im struggling!!
I think what you are feeeling is quite normal. It’s a form of survivor guilt. My friend and I were both diagnosed with BC in the same year, 6 months apart. She always had a poorer prognosis than me, but we supported each other and meeting up was a huge source of comfort. Then sadly her cancer returned and she died earlier this year. I have found it incredibly hard to deal with. I definitely feel guilty that she is dead and I am alive. Why her and not me? Every time I meet her husband he asks if I am well, and he seems genuinely pleased that I am OK, but I feel awful for being a picture of health with him having lost his wife, and his children their mother. I have thought about this a lot, and I think that if I hadn’t had breast cancer I would not feel so awful about her death. It’s almost like it’s somehow my fault that she is dead. I know that is rubbish, but it is the only way to explain how I feel.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience an my heart goes out to you that must have been awful! I know my situation is different cause im well but the guilt is the same, why am I ok an not my sister? I drink an I have smoked where as she hasnt so why did this happen to her? I feel awful thinking like this cause I should be there for her not selfishly thinking of myself but instead I feel like I cant face my family cause im ok!! the guilt is eating away at me!!!