feeling guilty

My sister has been diagnosed with stage 2 her2 breast cancer Tuesday, Im devastated for her as she doesnt drink, smoke an I have done. We both got checked an I was clear but rather than relieved I feel incredibly guilty!! Is this normal??

Dear clewer,

Welcome to the forum.  I am sorry to hear of your sister’s diagnosis.

You might find it helps to talk things over with one of our helpliners.  The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays.  The number is 0808 800 6000.  Calls are free and confidential.

Very best wishes

Janet

BCC Moderator

thank you I will try the help line cause my family dont talk about emotions or feelings an im struggling!!

I think what you are feeeling is quite normal.  It’s a form of survivor guilt.  My friend and I were both diagnosed with BC in the same year, 6 months apart.  She always had a poorer prognosis than me, but we supported each other and meeting up was a huge source of comfort.  Then sadly her cancer returned and she died earlier this year.  I have found it incredibly hard to deal with.  I definitely feel guilty that she is dead and I am alive.  Why her and not me?  Every time I meet her husband he asks if I am well, and he seems genuinely pleased that I am OK, but I feel awful for being a picture of health with him having lost his wife, and his children their mother.  I have thought about this a lot, and I think that if I hadn’t had breast cancer I would not feel so awful about her death.  It’s almost like it’s somehow my fault that she is dead.  I know that is rubbish, but it is the only way to explain how I feel.

I really appreciate you sharing your experience an my heart goes out to you that must have been awful! I know my situation is different cause im well but the guilt is the same, why am I ok an not my sister? I drink an I have smoked where as she hasnt so why did this happen to her? I feel awful thinking like this cause I should be there for her not selfishly thinking of myself but instead I feel like I cant face my family cause im ok!! the guilt is eating away at me!!!