Hi anyone. My 39 yr old daughter (single and lives alone in a shared house) was diagnosed with BC last month but lives 200 miles from me, so I have needed to go back and forth to support her. She has had 2 ops for a lumpectomy then lymph node removal and will soon begin chemo. When I am with her I am able to be positive and help her out in many practical ways. However, after I return to my own home I tend to fall apart and get tearful. Is this normal? My daughter is very capable and determined to steer her way through this awful interruption to her life, but in spite of her age, to me she is still my little girl and I feel so helpless. This is my first ever posting to any forum, but wondered if other family members feels like this? Thanks for listening.
Hi,
I’m in a similar situation with your daughter - single and lives alone in a shared house. I’m a bit younger (well, over 10 years younger) than her (click on my name to see profile). I’m sure my mum must feel the same as you.
When mum was here, she came to all the Doctor’s appt with me and she got to know my medical team. I think that reassured her that I’m in good hand. As she saw me got better, she’s a lot more relaxed now.
I found it really helpful to have mum helping me during my chemo. It’s really tiring. I’m really thankful for all the care she gave me during the difficult times. I’m sure you’ll do everything you can to help her to get through her difficult times, too.
xx
Hi Chrissie and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the support you have here our helpliners are here to support you as well as your daughter so feel free to call for a chat on 0808 800 6000, the lines are open 9-5 weekdays and Sat 9-2.
Take care
Lucy
Chrissie, I think all of us worry as much if not more about our families than we do about ourselves, and we know that it’s as tough on you, our supporters, as it is on us. You’re feeling like this because it’s such a stressful situation, but be assured your daughter will be really appreciating what you’re doing, so you’re making a big difference to her. Well done to you for being such a lovely mummy, and have a huge hug from me for being there for your daughter.
We ALL feel helpless in this - the doctors prod us and poke us and jab us and cut us and fill us with chemicals and stick us on a slab and irradiate us, the whole thing can feel very disempowering for us too, so we also know what you’re feeling.
I can’t offer anything else, just thanks to you for being great with your daughter.
CM
x
To those lovely people who responded to my post so quickly, thank you and I am grateful. For everyone going through BC itself, or families, friends, partners etc, life suddenly takes that total and devastating U-turn from what we considered to be the ‘norm’ and that has thrown me more than anything. My new and forced awareness of BC has caused a very steep learning curve but I will be there for my own daughter through whatever she has to face.
My thoughts are also with all of you out there who are undergoing the battle.