Hi all I know this will sound stupid but today I had my last radiotherapy had 10 sessions and walking out of the hospital I just felt lost !!!no more treatment or appointments until March I’m so glad and thankful I caught my cancer early I’ve had surgery and on tamoxifen had radiotherapy I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.
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Hi Springtime,
I can totally relate to you, I felt exactly the same when my treatment finished, 6 months of appointments, scans, biopsies, back and forth to hospital and then it all ends, are we meant to skip off into the sunset…
I found that enrolling on some online courses helped me focus. I found the Penny Brohn website very useful and informative. Please check it out. The moving forward course with BCN was also good. I also completed a 6 week cancer coach course, with Cancer support UK. I felt up and down after treatment finished so doing this really helped as I was in touch with others who had been on a similar journey to mine. Wishing you all the best for the future, there is light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there.x
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Hi @springtime1
You will not be alone in your feelings. I’ve had surgery, chemotherapy with Herceptin, that I have 3 left out of 18, radiotherapy Letrozole and Zometa infusions. When I finished the main hospital treatment mid January after radiotherapy, I also felt lost and alone. The hospital treatment and appointments are your main focus, like being on a rollercoaster and then suddenly you get off and don’t know what to do. I started a BCN Moving Forward course last week and met some lovely people, next session is tomorrow. It was great to know I wasn’t alone in my feelings and thoughts.
- Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
You could also consider Someone Like Me who can offer support over the phone
- Someone Like Me: Will match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll be a phone call or email away to answer your questions, offer support, or simply listen. Call on 0800 138 6551 or contact our email volunteers
You might also benefit from counselling, I’ve had some already and now on my 2nd lot, first time I didn’t really gel with the counsellor.
Maggie’s offer this aswell as MacMillan, your employer, if you work, may also be able to provide this.
I’m sure you will have lots of other people comment on your thread.
I hope the information helps 
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Hi springtime1
I was exactly the same. I walked out hospital after my last radiotherapy treatment in tears thinking what do I do now. No more appointments for a year. Strange, but I actually looked forward to my next follow up. I only had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and tamoxifen. A lot of people been through tons more than me. Good to know the support is still there if you need it from your bcn. I also did the moving forward course which was highly beneficial. You are not alone x
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Thank you all for your kind words I don’t feel silly now and I’m glad I posted xxx I am going to sign up for the moving forward course xx
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Hi springtime1
Like you I feel abit adrift now, I’ve signed up for the moving on course in August too.
Sending hugs
Xx
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Dear Springtime,
Give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far With your treatment, you have done so well.
We have all felt like this at the end of our treatment so much going on so many appointments so much to fit in and then it all comes to an end and we have lost our comfort blanket, but we are all here for you. Keep posting look after yourself, and I feel that in a week or so you’ll start to feel better. .
Also, as someone else has mentioned the moving forward course, it’s excellent and I highly recommend it.
Wishing you lots of health and happiness going forward keep posting a letting us know how you’re getting on a nice cup of tea, a chat with that special friend goes a long way.
With the biggest hugs Tili 
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Awesome achievement finishing radiotherapy 
well done
Now remember to moisturise, hydrate and stretch every day!
But not having a ‘next’ is daunting because thats been your life for months, the waiting , the rollercoaster of emotions can be overwhelming so please give yourself time
Each day now is yours
Each step now is yours
And that can feel like a release for some and a big wide black hole for others so as others have said think about counselling, going to a Maggie Centre if you have one near you, or talking to your team/ GP about these feelings, they will all listen and they will have answers or at least put you on the path to your next step
It might help to plan a few things to look forward like a pamper or spa day with friends or going to a place you love for a meal or having a short break away from your 4 walls for a change of scenery but whatever you do please know that everyone around you and on here will be supportive, and want to help you go to the next phase with hope and a smile
You might not believe this but its going to be ok
Blessings and hugs 
x
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moving forward course was great for me as it was held not far from where i live and we now have a whatsapp group for us to use to arrange to meet for a lunch - we all brought a dish with us so nobody has to do all the food, although maybe the washing up would be done where you meet up. You could use paper plates. Anyway we enjoyed a lovely afternoon talking about our fears and our heroic ability to deal with horrible surgery and drugs. There’s nothing like sharing with people who have struggled with you. When i was first diagnosed in 2003someone recommended Peter Harvey on what happens end of treatment somaybe google his name. Everyone (well maybe not everyone but a lot of us) feels more than a bit lonely when contact with medics disappears
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Hi @springtime1 and all,
Thanks for all your comments. It’s my last radiotherapy tomorrow, and I’m beginning to feel a bit lost; so all your comment s have helped me feel less alone regardless of how I actually react tomorrow…
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Morning @mary4
We have all been there and know how you are feeling.
Have you considered the BCN * Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
I also found counselling was needed after my active treatment. MacMillan offer free counselling via Bupa. If you’re employed you may also be able to access some via your HR department.
The forum is also still here for you post treatment.
Thank you for your reply. Sorry to take so long to get back to you. Post radiotherapy fatigue hit me like a sledgehammer 2 days after the final session. I wasn’t really ‘back to normal’ until the New Year. Then the rest of life was hectic.
Yes, I did a Moving Forward course in January and found it helpful. I’m now actively trying to work out what this new life feels like and what my right place in it it…
I’ve had 2 close friends diagnosed in the last few months, which has ‘knocked me for six’ a bit…
Thank you for your encouragement.
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No need to apologise. Radiotherapy can hit hard, for something that is invisible it’s strong stuff. I remember someone saying it’s the Gift that Keeps on Giving as it can affect your body months or years later.
I’m so sorry to hear of your friends diagnosis, a few years ago I hardly new of anyone with cancer now there seems to be so many. It does make you wonder what we are doing differently now than people did 40/50 years ago?
Take care and I wish you well.
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I also had a friend who was diagnosed about 3 months after me - we couldn’t get over the coincidence of it how 2 people in the same circle could both get it so close together . Luckily she ended up on the same treatment pathway as myself which meant that I could give her support and information and now that works both ways and we can talk to each other about BC stuff we wouldn’t discuss with other people. If your friends need more or different treatment to that which you have had you may end feeling a bit like an imposter ( which you’re not !) or a bit guilty. However even though you are only just getting yourself back together you are in a good position to offer them support but be led by them and what they want and listen as people some react differently to others. Xx
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