Feeling low about the hair

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21

Hey Kiti
I know exactly how you are feeling…hence my thread.
It is damm hard, nobody will ever know how hard, unless they have been there themselves…

Not sure what chemo regim you are on, but if the hair has started to go, the rest will probably follow…

My advice to you is this…(and i will try and take some of my own advice while i am about it too…) If you know the rest of your hair is going to come away, get the remainder cut and head maybe shaved nice and clean. Then, depending on how you feel, get yourself an assortment of headwear…maybe some scarves, little hats, hair pieces, whatever you fancy. Buy some nice accessories and make up (if you wear them) and pamper yourself…that is what i did. Anything to boost your confidence and make yourself feel better about things.
Have you been on a ‘Look Good feel better’ session. They are ace, often run via the hospital you are linked to,or at a complimentary therapy clinic…ask your bcn perhaps?
Hold your head high…I am sure you are a beautiful person!

No-one will bat an eyelid with your wig on…but they are hot in this weather.
It is hard, i am finding it really hard…but you will get through it all …

RECS…Your Granny is so right!

Naz x

22

Kiti, I share your pain at the moment! Everytime I catch my reflection in the mirror I could cry, I wear lots of hats etc no one really takes much notice and after saying I would not, I got a wig. I think the trauma is very personal, I feel a lot less confident than before bc, the whole body image is turned on it’s head. My boys (9&10) have been very matter of fact. It just makes having treatment so much more obvious to the outside, but mostly, I don’t look or feel like myself and miss my hair! I know we can get through this and so value the support from this forum. Xxtina

23

I feel the same as you Tina…i feel my self confidence has taken a real battering…body image has gone awol…
Having a real hard time dealing with it at the mo, just trying to be positive on the outside though…mainly for my children (5 and 2) who are not that bothered what i look like …

Hugs …xxx

24

Hi
I was exactly the same same as you. I hated my new hair - it was a mass of curls and I just couldn’t manage it. When I looked in the mirror - I hated it - it just wasn’t me!

I’m now 18 months post chemo and it’s finally ‘behaving itself’. I always had short hair before but the hairdresser said to grow it and the weight would pull it down. She was right. It’s now coming thro’ straight. It’s till not ‘me’ but better. I can manage it.

Mal x

25

Kiti

I trimmed my hair but left my fringe. Luckily I kept enough fringe which peeped out from under the buffs I wore. This was enough to soften the edge and made it work for me.

The fringe lasted until after my last chemo when it came out - at this point my own hair was starting to grow and I am now hatless!

I did buy a ‘fringe’ but never got round to using it.

Just to share some good news - my first grandaughter was born early this morning - I wonder if she has as much hair as me?!

lol Chirs

26

Hi Chris,
First and foremost congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter today, that is wonderful news, let us know her name and how much she weighed, and of course if she has any hair!!

Secondly, You keeping your fringe made me think, has anyone cut their hair and kept some and had it made into a fringe! or just bits to add around the bottom of a hat! would make it feel a bit more like ‘yours’ l dread losing my hair, but dread the cancer even more!
Love
Sandra xxx

27

Reading all your stories makes me feel very guilty for worrying about the state of my 80’s mullet. I had very long, thick hair to start with, more than my fair share friends used to say, and persevered with the dreaded cold cap. I had it cut short and lost over 3/4 of it by the end of my 6 FEC so hid under hats and buffs all winter/spring. I had huge difficulty getting a wig as a size 58cm circumference head size falls outside the main wig supplies. I am very self-concious of the poor state of my hair coming through white, all tufty & in different directions and am off to the hairdresser tomorrow to perhaps cut it all very short for the first time in my life.

The onc was very interested to see the visible damage chemo did at the root tips, I can count the treatments in stripes a bit like the stripes on my nails.

Here’s a morale boosting quote for you all from Roald Dahl’s book called The Twits. “if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely”. Here’s to looking lovely! :slight_smile:

28

Hi to all you brave ladies

Just want to pass on my best wishes to you. I went through my bald stage in 2006-2007 and to me, it was one of the worst parts of breast cancer.

Previously I had long thick hair almost to my waist and lost the lot in a matter of weeks. I always wore scarves and hats, couldn’t bear the bald look on me.

I went out for the first time with no hat or scarf at my son’s 18th Party and was very nervous.

I really feel for you, but eventually of course it came back, and I must say, even now nearly 4 years on, I still marvel at having hair.

No one can imaging how it affects us, but there is light at the end of the very long tunnel, so hang on in there.

love Deborah xxx

29

Hi everyone and congratulations to you Chris on the birth of your baby grandchild, how exciting and what a boost! I share most of these sentiments about the hair. I have been wearing various wigs but now have some stubble growing, being on cycle seven out of eight chemos. and have started braving the gym without hat or scarf although I agree with Divi, feel like a man in a dress without my hair. Around the house today so letting it hang out and keeping cool and I WILL, very soon, go to the shops bald like this.

take care everyone, chins up, we are ALL going to get hair again in due course, pity mines now a grizzly grey instead of browny blonde but hey ho theres always hair dye in about six months.

love to all. xxxx

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My grandaughters name is Acacia - she weighed in at 6lb 1oz - I haven’t seen her yet - will ask about her hair.

My daughter says my hair is as soft as a kitten, but patchy like a tabby cat!!

Tresanne - love the Twits quote - I’ve been working on the theory that if I smile at everyone they can’t feel sorry for me. Daft I know, but it helps.

love to all Chris

31

Chris, congrats on the birth of your grandaughter…that is lovely news! What a lovely name too!

How’s the hair growing for everyone?
Mine is sprouting slowly, is a tad patchy at the front though…was wondering if that was an effect of the tamoxifin, or is it normal?

Bought a couple of hats yesterday, a baker boy cap and a sunhat.
(Flora, if you are about, do you manage to keep the cap on? Mine seems to keep slipping down…)

Think the lashes MAY be starting to grow, i am not sure…maybe it’s the remainder of my old lashes?

Still haven’t been without the wig in public…worn hats and bandanas around the house and garden which is a start.
I have ordered a ‘halo of hair’ from simply wigs…you wear in under a hat to give the impression of hair…anyone had one at all?

Have a good weekend all…off to Anglesea on Sunday for a few days, hope weather is good!

Naz x

32

Hi Lovely Ladies, not been online for a while so sorry not to have replied earlier to anyone.

Tresanne your Roald Dahl quote was lovely but made me cry! Not hard to do these days. I will try and remember the quote but brain is very befuddled these days.

Chris, congratulations on a beautiful grand-daughter what lovely news. Keeping my fringe so it peeps out of my headscarf (only worn around house) I feel is the only bit of control I have over bc but am expecting it will probably come out soon. Had 4th Epi on Wed and now eyebrows starting to go and while talking to my sister on the phone I thought there was mascara on my eyelashes and when I looked to my horror I had pulled some eyelashes out. I was so upset and now they feel like they are sticking together. Worried if I wear mascara I will lose eyelashes when I remove it but on the other hand if I don’t put any on people can see I’m losing them. Don’t know what to do for the best.

Going to cousin’s wedding in 2 weeks and feel so fat, baldy and horrible and can’t help feeling jealous looking at my 2 sisters trying on lovely dresses and talking about getting their hair done and I just think I would give anything to be able to go to the hairdressers but of course can’t tell anyone. Everyone tells me how brave I am but we just have to get on with life don’t we? Don’t feel like I’ll every be brave enough to go out wigless even when hair does grow back. Not told many people so already worrying how I would explain short hair when I’ve never had it short before even though that problem is a long way away.

Naz, I am such a wimp I don’t think I could get it shaved. I am hanging on to long stringy bits and kidding myself when I wear my headscarves (I have lots in lovely colours) that I still have some hair. I know it’s silly but I feel ashamed at how I look so can’t even let my OH or sons see me wigless - I think I would give them nightmares! To them I still look the same and I don’t want this to be any more traumatic to them as it is (they are 8 and 12). I have been to the Look Good Feel Better session which was really good but still had my hair/eyebrows then and have forgotten how to do fake eyebrows! I think there is a DVD you can buy so might get it.

Recs, I am only halfway through my chemo - had last Epi on Wed and then 4 CMFs which will take forever. I was so pleased I’d kept my eyebrows and eyelashes and now they are going I feel out of control again. You look lovely so nobody would bat any eyelash seeing you. Since BC I now notice more women with very short hair and headscarves and think they have been through this too. Just having a bad day with my wig in this heat - wouldn’t you think all the sweating wearing the wig would make me lose some weight???

Tina, I have stopped looking in the mirror as I could cry too. I miss my hair and am so envious of other women with their flowing locks. Why are there so many shampoo adverts on the tv?? Feel like I will never be buying hair products again for myself but that’s me feeling sorry for myself. I feel less confident too and take ages getting ready to face the outside world, worrying if my wig is on right etc. My boys are also matter of fact and to them I look the same and so far they are coping well although my 8 year old has become clingy more recently and always asks where I am. Only natural I suppose but it does make me sad as I don’t want him worrying. We try so hard to protect everyone don’t we?

Sandra, I too wondered about keeping my own hair and adding it to a hat or something - great minds! Of course when it started to come out I just kept a little bit of my hair in a bag so I can remember what colour it used to be. My sisters think I’m crackers but I felt like it was a big part of me and wanted a reminder. Mad eh? Let me know what you decide to do. Losing your hair is c*** but on another thread someone said it means the chemo is killing those little … so that’s one way to look at it but it’s still so hard to come to terms with. This forum is so good for all the support off everyone who knows how you feel and understand your worries. We will get through this together.

Sorry for such a long message and hope I haven’t missed anyone off. On a positive note (!) my friend who had BC last year has been taking horsehair tablets from Holland & Barrett and her hair is growing really well so worth a try!

Hugs to everyone,
Kiti xx

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Hi kiti, just had sports day today, out without wig, too hot, lots of looks across the play field. My boys are ok, I go aux naturelle at home, have no lashes or brows left now. It’s harsh. I have the " you are brave" comment a lot and am not very fond of the expression. But I appreciate people struggle to find the right thing to say. Hopefully, as only two more tax to go now, there may be some hair at Xmas! I feel for you so much, this bc business is pants!!

34

Hi kiti, just thought, the lgfg DVD is free of charge, isn’t it? I was
given one at the ywf recently.

35

Hi Kiti and everyone else
Don’t feel ashamed of how you look, it is not your fault this pants disease came your way…
I feel for you, the no hair/lashes/brows is a hard thing to deal with i think…BUT check out the lgfg DVD, it has lots of make up tips, especially for loss of lashes, where you draw a line over the lid of your eyes to give the impression of lashes…and there is some amazing brow shadow that i was given (think Debenhams do it) that you can pain on, it has a wax, and then the shadow goes over the top so that it stays.
The good thing is that the brows and lashes do return quite qucikly. I finished chemo 1st April and by the beginning of June, i could see the lashes coming through. Now i am using mascara no probs and the brows are all there as they were before!
Must give the horse hair tablets a go…i bought some sea kelp from H and B as i heard from a couple of people that they are good for hair growth too.
I know what you mean about the short hair…mine is grwoing back now…with a large amount of grey and i detest it in every way! I know it is hair and i should be grateful, but after all the treatment etc it would be nice to have at least retained some my hair.
I too am envious of people with their lovely hair! I have ‘hair product’ envy at the mo…i just want to buy loads of hair products and wash my hair and blow dry it and get my straighteners on it! Daft as it it may seem, i loved my hair and miss it terribly!

Tina, well done on going wig free at sports day! I also went to sports day, but chickened out at the last minute and put my wig on!
Only three more weeks of school run, then by Sept i hope to have enough hair to not wear anything, as i pick and choose where and when i go wig/scarf free at the mo.

Happy hair growing to you all…

Naz x