Hi all
Just having a bad day today (even though the sun is warm and shining!).
I am am just finding it really hard to deal with my lack of hair. Have tried really hard to get used to my new look, but i hate it! I have worn a bandana all day today, but still wearing the wig in public, yet i don’t want to, as it is too hot!
Too make matters worse, i think OH wants me to wear the wig for a bit longer too…(although he says it’s up to me at the end of the day!)
Just having an angry ‘why me’ day i suppose.
It is my daughters May fair tomorrow, and i don’t want to wear the wig as again, it will be far too hot…but i am scared…i haven’t even told anyone at the school, apart from my daughtes teacher and the head, and they don’t know my hair has done.
Okay, bye for now and enjoy the weekend.
Naz x
Hi Naz
realy sorry you feel bad today, we all have the right to bad days. There is not a lot I can say to cheer you up, except we are all here for you, and it will come back. How about a lovely hat for tomorrow ?
Hairless Hugs
Maria
Thanks Maria…
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day…
I ought to pull myself together i know…and i will!
naz x
No, you have the right to be down, where are you on your journey through all this ?
Hi Naz,
Not started my chemo yet! but dread the no hair! wouldn’t you think they would make a wig that was more comfortable, after all this chemo is not that new! a good wig maker would make a fortune if they could make a ‘light’ one.
What about a hat? could you get away with a sun hat? l have seen some hair pieces that attach to the sides of the hat or a fringe! obviously no good for tomorrow! but perhaps an idea.
As for OH, perhaps he could try the wig for a few hours (at home!) see how it feels, might change his mind, bless him!
The main thing is you enjoy the May Fair with your daughter
Hugs
Sandra xxx
Maria,i finsished chemo last month. On tamoxifin now, and currently awaiting reconstruction surgery.
Where you you in the journey?
Sandra - Yes, i told OH how hot the wig is, and he sympathised! I too wish they made a much lighter one…how good would that be!
I have got a couple of bandanas so they will have to do…my hair is coming back slowly, but there is not enough there to go without anything just yet.
All the best with your chemo… When do you start? Take care.
Naz x
Wow, Naz through the chemo, how was it for you? obviously everyone is different, but most seem as though it is do-able!! Is there enough hair to see what colour it is? lots say it comes back darker or grey, l am bound to get grey!!
I have an appointment to see the onc on the 1st June, so hopefully not too long after that, had a mx 10 days ago, after lump. and a failed narrow margin, a long haul!!
Take Care
Sandra xxx
Oh poor you - it’s quite a struggle isn’t it. What about a big floppy 70’s style hat ? it’s hot enough for it and very funky
I have a birthday party today and I can’t be bothered with the wig - my OH, very unusually thinks I should wear my wig - but “it’s up to you I just thought you would want to” in this heat ??? why would I want to. I’ll see how I feel.
anyway enough about me and back to you - you should take your time but believe me I have been walking about town all week now without my hat /scarf or wig -B&Q twice yesterday and nobod but nobody gives it a second glance they are all busy bothering about thier own hair !!
Anyway thinking about you and sending very positive hair growning vibes in your direction - this will be over soon and then we can get down to posting about how annoying the think curls are !!!
big hug xxx
Naz sorry you’re having such a sad time about the hair. I’ve been bareheaded for about 4 weeks now but I don’t think anyone except us realises what a big deal it is. First I was scared to go out with the wig, that was so surreal, I couldn’t believe it was me, walking along a street wearing a wig, & bald underneath it. Then a few months later I was scared to go out without it. I have done it although my hair is still very short. I must say it feels so much cleaner & tidier, but oh how I hate it, I think I look like a man in a dress. Sometimes I forget & am chatting away to someone then catch a glimpse of my reflection somewhere & yeuch! Anyway, I’ve got rid of the wig, & going to work & everywhere else I want/need to go & I don’t think anyone realises how very brave I am every time I set foot outside. You will be too. My first ‘outing’ was to the local shop, my daughter came with me, & told me that no way would she be seen with me if I looked awful (bless her, she couldn’t bear to see me bald at all). I can honestly say I’ve never been aware of any ‘funny’ looks when out, anything goes these days I guess. I really think if people think anything it will be more on the lines of Why would you want that hairstyle? than anything else. As for OH, well close as partners are, they’re not in our shoes, & in an ideal world we would do what felt right for us & they would support us. Easy for me to say as my partner is only part time, & I know from reading posts that not everyone’s partner is as supportive but one can dream.
Wishing us all long flowing locks & pony tails in the near future.
It must be the hot weather but we all seem to being brave at the moment. I have also just ditched the headscarfs. I was pretty scared walking into the school fair on Friday night, but I made a joke of it and compared myself to the headteacher, who hair is about the same length (though he does have a beard to make up for it!) Most people haven’t said a word. Those that have said anything have been nothing but complementary, most wanting to touch it, as it’s so soft. In fact I have threatened to charge £1 a go.
I had forotten how lovely it is to have the wind blow through your hair in hot weather, so I am making the most of it now.
NAZ, do you wear the wig at home. How about spending time in the garden without it (though remember to put suncream on your head). Or go to a friends house. I think you can do it one of two ways - either just go for it, or acclimatise yourself gently - little more wigless each day.
Thanks for the replies guys…
cmw, i now do not wear the wig at home, just my bandana…but the furthest i have got wigless is my car! I really wanted to go the school fair today with just the bandana, but at the last minute, i bottled it and suffered the wig and the heat!
I am going to get myself some hats and have a go at the scarf, as don’t seem to be able to bite the bullet just yet.
I really need to get all of this into perspective, as i know that people have got far more going on in their lives, than what is on my head…and i have to focus on other things in my life other than my head too! Like finding a job…!
But i am dropping the wig slowly but surely at home, it is just out and about that i need to tackle.
Diwwy - I need to take a leaf out of your book i think. I may go for a walk up the road this week, wigless or with bandana to start, and take my two year old son for moral support ha ha…he thinks it’s hilarious when i bear all!
You are right, partners/ husbands are not quite in our shoes, and although mine knows what a bit deal it is for me, he doesn’t know exactly how bigger deal it is if you get me.
RECS - you have been mega brave and i admire you! How was the birthday party today…did you go wigless?
I am going to get some hats for sure, especially if this weather contines…bring on that hair!
Sandra - Chemo is do-able albeit unpleasant…
What drugs are you going to be on? I had FEC and TAX…three of each.
I was dark before, and it does seem to be coming back dark, with grey in it…so i will colour it as soon as i have enough.
All the best with your chemo, it will be over before you know it…
Hving a hot flush now…oh joy! (tamoxifin me thinks!)
Naz xxxx
Naz
Good luck whatever you do. You will manage it when the time is right for you.
I also seem to be more grey than before - may have to resort to the hairdye.
Caroline
Hi Naz
I’m just 12 days post 1st chemo (fec x 3 then tax x 3) A clump of hair has just come away in my hand. Dare not comb it tonight. OMG There are difficult moments for us on this journey.
Don’t worry about the grey, last time (2003) mine came back greyish and them came back to it’s normal colour again, even better than before. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I know, been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. Not fair I’ve got to do it again, though.
Sorry , feeling like sh*t now.
Hugs Maria
Naz I have just bought a heavenly sun hat from M&S it’s in the beach shop at £7.50 and it is a big white hat made of ribbon - gorgeous and yes I wore it to the party and whipped it off when someone asked how my hair was coming along - too hot to keep it of but deffo worth a look.
Thinking about you and your boy going for a wigless walk is too cute ! when you get around to it (in your own time) you will feel liberated from the tyranny of the wig !!!
XXX
Today I braved school without my headscarf. I was really nervous. I did get a few looks from the year 3 children, but that might be because they saw me wearing glasses for the first time.
At break time I ventured out across the playground, and bumped into to some of the year 6 boys who shouted out “Yey, Mrs W’s got her hair back!” and then gave me a round of applause!
Hello All
the no hair is so hard and everyone deals with it differently, this time last year i was bald and moonfaced and for me i just went out ‘commando’ but you have to do what you feel comfortable with, i was never a hat/scarf person so cancer wasn’t going to change that, I put up some photos on my FB of my hair journey from Nov 08 pre chemo until nov 09 if you PM me i will give you access to look at them.
I travelled into central London for my chemo and radio and at the start it was the hot flushes then it was the warm weather but i just couldn’t cope with a wig. Scarf just slid off. Have you managed to get on one of the Look good feel good days that are run , try and get on one as soon as you can , the advice re hair loss and make up is great.
rhi xx
Hi Maria, how are you feeling today? Sorry that you are going through it all again, let me give give you a ‘cyber hug’ at least hey…
RECS, dragged my son round all the shops today, looking for hats, saw a couple in M + S, but not me unfortunately…
I am not a hat person i have decided, so going to look at a buff now, and see if tha is any better…
Caroline, you are doing good…pass me over some of that confidence please as i desperately need it…or is it that i am just not ready? It does takeem ages to psych myself up to do everything these day, this seems to be no different!
Rhian, i will pm you if you don’t mind, i think it may help me…
Naz x
Thanks NAZ
I am not usually a confident person but I do like to be comfy - always one to wear flats when everyone else has high heals.
I am so uncomfy from the Rads that there was no way I could contemplate have a hot head as well.
It may seem daft but in some ways bc has made me more confident in some situations, but I have completely lost it in others.
Hi Ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining. Had 2nd Epi chemo last wk and am really struggling with the hair loss. Tried to hang on to it for son’s Communion on Sat by not washing it but it was getting all matted with hot flushes. Went to hairdressers feeling brave to get it cut off but she brushed it (OMG loads came out!) and said still had some to keep but it’s long and stringy and am too frightened to touch it. Didn’t want to wear wig to Communion so wore a hairpiece thing which was ok. Now I am in a panic about going out and having to wear my wig so stayed in house all day. Had parents’ evening so wore wig but felt so self-conscious and hot. Everyone says wig is lovely but they’re not having to wear it and I feel sad. Don’t think OH realises how traumatic the hair loss is as I was trying to hide from some of the other parents and he didn’t know why! Duh! Got lots of headscarves but not brave enough to wear them yet. I know I have to wash/cut it or my scalp will go sore but can’t pluck up courage and 8yr old is on half-term and don’t want him to see me so upset.
Sorry for moaning but feel really cr** tonight! Perhaps might suggest OH wear a wig in this heat??? Hope everyone feeling ok and not too depressed after my rant!
Hugs,
Kiti x
Kiti we have all been there and it sucks - big time sucks. It’s a very hard time and although I don’t know how much chemo you have left to do you still have some way to go and you will need your strenght.
I’m not clear as to why your hairdresser said to keep some cause frankly that will make your wig even hotter ! I pray to God I never have to do this again but if I did I would go for a number 2 buzz cut all over as soon as the hair starts to go cause being without is less stressful than it falling out all over the place.
I do feel for you. Take comfort in the fact that I toddle around town with my hair as per the picture and no-body bats an eyelash (they are coming back too!). If it helps put yourself in thier shoes - if you saw someone with very short hair would you stare ? I wouldn’t. Also if you are wearing a wig I can guarantee no-body is looking.
Keep in touch - big hug from me xxx
PS - My Granny used to say " A Good Face Goes with Anything " and she was right 