Hello ladies. Thought I would jump on here as I’m just feeling a bit lost. I am only very recently diagnosed with BC and am waiting for the HER result to tell me if I’m surgery first or chemo. I just feel so teary and have tried so hard to distract myself… went back to work, caught up with friends etc etc and tried to do things which make me happy but they’re just not working. I feel happy for the period that I’m doing the activity, then I get home and it’s back to feeling doom and gloom. Some days, I struggle to leave the house and don’t want to talk to anyone as I’m feeling sorry for myself. Once upon a time, I used to think I had problems… but looking back, I really didn’t. Any help here would be appreciated. I feel scared and don’t know what’s ahead of me 
. Have lost my zest for life and wonder if thing will ever be the same.
You are entitled to feel low at times, so give yourself a break and run with it. You are at one of the worst points where the news is just sinking in, and in limbo until you get your results and know what you are dealing with. Try not to catastrophise until you know what you are dealing with, its not all doom and gloom and your life is not over.
Things are unlikely to ever be quite the same, but some of that will be down to a new perspective where you no longer sweat the small stuff and appreciate the good things in life - that can be quite freeing.
Do you know your grade and stage yet? Once you have the full plan, there are loads of lovely suppotive ladies on here to support and advise you, you are not alone in this. You can be matched with someone to talk to who is going through the same process via the ‘someone like me’ section.
Once the plans are underway, you will ne kept busy with appointments, meantime, I found exercise a good distraction.
Hi @deers4. It is 100% totally understandable to feel like that. All of us on here felt like that. The time between diagnosis and the actual plan is for many of us, the absolute worst time. Once tge plan is decided, you will feel a lot more positive. I was diagnosed 7 days before Christmas in 2023 and we kept it secret from our children and wider family until the new year when we had a plan. It was awful and we tried so hard to make Christmas amazing, while catastrophising about my cancer. Once the plan was in place, I found the forward momentum of appointments, tests and procedures made me feel proactive. Even though each new treatment or procedure terrified me, nothing was ever as bad as i imagined, and nothing was as bad as the waiting!
You are bound to feel low and teary. But if it is too much, seek help. Your breast care nurses can point you in the right direction. I had excellent counselling from Macmillan and I also found lots of comfort from this forum. There are useful resources on here too for when you know your treatment plan.
Keep seeing your friends and doing things you enjoy. Even if you feel sad afterwards, you said you enjoy it in the moment. So go and enjoy time with family and friends. Share with them how you feel and they will help you too.
Please let us know how you get on snd what your treatment plan is. X
Dear Deers4,
I thinking you are amazing, you gone back to work, seeing your friends and trying to make the best of life at the moment.
This is the worse time at the for you, all the waiting not know what and were your going, as soon as you have a plan in place I think you will feel better about what’s ahead of you.
I think you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself, you have had a terrible shock, with treatment still been planned, be kind to yourself, take one day at a time.
Do as little or as much as you can to keep yourself busy. We have all been there and now we are here for you with love and support.
Keep posting letting us know how you are getting on,
With the bigg3st hugs Tili 
Hi @deers4 and @Tili @bluesatsuma
As all havecreplied i ditto that, its ok to feel how you feel, this community on here are so lovely warm and welcoming and have no judgement, even if you share what you wouldn’t ordinarily. Keep coming back. I didnt feel much at the beginning everyone else was higly worried and full of questions, now my surgery is done i have cried and have hit a place where i want to stay in and low. Just to give you an idea,from what i have read it seems everyone has those days at some point.
Give yourself a hug and one day at a time to find moments of joy and moments of you. Big hugs and we are all here with you. 
Oh I thought I was reading about myself there…I feel exactly the same very teary, it’s very early stages for me, only been 5 days since my biopsy but it is cancer and now awaiting results of what kind of treatment I will need and I also need to get a CT scan.
I’ve been off work past week but will return on Mon and don’t even know if I will tell people or not as it’s going to be a long journey ahead I feel.
I think we can only take one day at a time and just try and get through it with the help of this lovely community here … I only found this forum this morning as I lay in bed crying again! So glad I did…Sending big hugs…We can all do this together 
@cazy so sorry to see you find yourself here. There are many of us here who are further on in the journey who totally get how you and @deers4 feel. Keep using the forum to ask questions and share your thoughts. For me, this was how I got through. I hope you get your treatment plan soon and know what you are up against. Whatever it is, we are here for you, and will help you. Xx
@bluesatsuma Thank you so much for your support and yes this forum is going to help me so much, even since joining this morning there is so much empathy and real support here in this great community 
It might actually keep me sane over the next couple of weeks till I get my CT and biopsy results 
Thank you @entropy for your reply to my post. That has helped me a little. I am trying to be more positive each day and looking for the good things that are still happening around me. Once I have the full results, I will come back. Thank you x
Thank you @trix1 for your response. I think the overwhelming reply from everyone is to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves a big hug from time to time and remind how well we doing, no matter which part of the journey we are at. The ladies on here are fab - you are right there x
Thank you @bluesatsuma - I really appreciate your reply. Hopefully I will know where I am at with treatment soon and it will make me maybe more at ease?? Thank you for your kind words xx
Thank you @Tili. I am trying so hard to continue on with everything and try and be ‘normal’ (whatever that is) hahaha. It is so so hard and sometimes I just don’t feel like getting myself out the door. It was (and still is) a terrible shock and I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I will keep everyone posted on how I am going. Thank you Tili x
@bluesatsuma, I cannot begin to understand how on earth you got through that Christmas!! You are amazing to have kept that to yourselves whilst all the festive stuff was going on around you. That’s so tough…you’re so tough! I do enjoy stuff in the moment but then reality kicks in and I fall on my face again. I know things will get easier eventually…xx
To be honest @deers4, the christmas festivities were a useful distraction. But behind closed doors my husband would sob on me. I went into a sort of emotional stasis, and became obsessed with being the fun bringer to the family. My kids would probably say it was the best christmas ever! I think i was in shock! Some sort of weird back up generator kicked in!
You will be okay. It doesn’t seem like it yet, but once the plan has been shared, you will have a timescale to work to. I actually liked my appointments as I felt I was ticking stages off. You’re in the horrible limbo land stage. Soon things will get moving. All the best x
Thanks @bluesatsuma, I guess you find that inner strength somewhere and you knew you had to carry on with the Christmas festivities regardless.
I hadn’t thought of appointments like that before. At the moment, i just see them as fearful and more bad news…perhaps I need to think of them differently, like you did??
Xx
My counsellor said that i needed to see cancer as a diversion in my life journey. I should have crossed the river on the bridge, but i’ve had to use the stepping stones instead. See the appointments as stepping stones to the otherside. Each one is a necessary step forward.
Hello,
I feel exactly the same. I was diagnosed in February. Im 4 weeks post surgery. Have had infection in my wound. Will get results on the 30th and feel terrified of what I maybe told.
I am anxious, sad and hate being miserable but can’t seem to shake the dark cloud off me.
Huge hugs to you xxx
Just to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course no two people have the same journey but you will get through it. You will find out all about it and deal with it so don’t plan ahead, it will all just happen.
I was diagnosed with Her2++ and 10% Oestrogen positive in 2013. I had chemo first to shrink the tumour, a wide excision, radiotherapy and Herceptin injections afterwards for a year (I know things have changed since then) - and I am still here! At the time my husband had not long passed away unexpectedly and my sister had terminal cancer - I didn’t think I could survive it all - but ones does. Stay as positive as you can and as everyone says, be kind to yourself. Very best wishes to you.
Put complete trust in your breast care team and cancer nurses. They are amazing and will guide you through this process. Try to stay positive but cry when you need to. I was diagnosed with HER2 positive b c nearly a year ago now and have had chemo, lumpectomy and reconstruction and finished radiotherapy a couple of weeks ago. I’m still having herceptin injections for the rest of the year. Feel stronger every day and feel so grateful for the treatment I have received. I feel more confident especially since losing all my hair. I wish you well and know you will do this in your own way. Stay strong and take care xxx
Hi I was diagnosed with BC after a routine scan which luckily i went for , i missed the one before . They found a small lump in my left breast and calcification in the right . I had all the calcification taken out while awake after some good anesthetic. I hade the lump removed also my main lymph node then i had radiotherapy and not chemo thankfully . I felt the same as you but after it was all over , very strange , youd think you would feel happy its over and youve beaten it but oh no it hit me hard the thought of it all . I spoke to a really nice petson at Macmillan who told me lots of people get the same feelings . I know you still have to go through it but try and stay positive and good luck . I also take Letrozole and have to for five years . Lorraine