This has possibly been the worst week of my entire life and although on the outside I may be appearing to cope, underneath I feel like a swan treading water.
I was dx a week today with breast cancer and then Wed of this I week lost my beautiful brave mum to it, she was first diagnosed 6 years ago and after her initial treatment was fine but then had bone mets 3 years ago so it has been a long fight for her which eventually proved too much god love her. Whilst we all know now she is no longer suffering, it still hurts like hell knowing we’ll never see her again. She never knew about my diagnosis thank god as I know it hit her hard when my sister had breast cancer two years ago, but I also think now she is up there looking down on me and willing me through the next few months, I can draw lots of strength from that…
I am still waiting for my op date but until mum’s funeral I can’t really even focus on me at the moment. Up until now I have been very positive and whilst I have got an amazing network of friends and a fantastic husband and family around me, I am feeling low today, hence this post at 5.50!
I know things will get better and I’m sure when everyone else is up and about later things might not seem so bad…
Knowing I have this site is a great help and I’m sure lots of you have similiar days so any advice on how to deal with them would be greatly received.
xxxx
Dear lilginge,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May I offer my sincere condolences on behalf of the team of moderators here.
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Dear Lilginge
I just want to give you a big hug!!! Sorry to hear that you have lost your mum and that you have joined the club that none of us want to be in as well. I can’t imagine having to deal with this and a bereavement at the same time. I was diagnosed in July and will have a full mx 2 Sept. I had SNB on Tuesday and am feeling sore and tired. I have had great support from friends and family but the messages from people in the forum have been much appreciated because they know exactly what you’re going through. A friend who’s been through it told me yesterday “you have good days and bad days. make the most of the good days and just go with the bad - cry, shout, sleep, do whatever - and know that tomorrow will be better.”
All you can do is deal with things as they arise, know that your mum is with you and keep all that love close to your heart. Have you seen your GP? This is an awful lot to deal with at once and they may be able to help.
Try and stay positive but we are all here for you and will give you as much help and support as we can. Take care.
Angela xxx
Dear Lilginge
I salute you for being so brave and courageous. Not many people can keep up appearance when they are going through such a terrible time.
My thoughts are with you, may your mum RIP.
Sending you a big hug. 
Take care
Mahsa xx
Sorry for your loss,I lost my mum nearly 3 yrs ago and it still doesn’t feel real…I was also very positive when i was diagnosed 10 days ago but now i am getting low…I have my pre-op tuesday 27th then 3 more appts to prep for surgery which is 6th sept. I have no-one close that i can speak to so i’m looking forward to having pre-op as i can ask questions and maybe meet some ladies who are in the same situation.Good Luck Hun xx maybe we can keep each other updated.
Dear lilginge,
Such a horrible situation for you. This new forum design has thrown me and I assume many others so I’m sorry I’ve only just seen your msge.
My mother is fighting ovarian cancer but luckily is doing OK for now. It will have her in the end, but for now we are counting our blessings. My Nan died the week I started rads so it got a bit overwhelming at times! All I can share with you from my experience is just try to take it day by day. It will feel overwhelming, don’t be hard on yourself - you are allowed to be overwhelmed. Don’t stop the tears - sometimes we need to just let it out.
You are in the most challenging phase just post diagnosis waiting the out come of all the tests and to be grieving the loss of your mother too is just so unfair. I found it helpful to just focus on the next appointment - stage by stage and not to Google!
My thoughts are with you and your family.
p.s
I’ve snet you a message with details of a facebook group for younger women you may find helpful if you haven’t already seen it.
Deborah. x