Hi everybody, I’ve never joined a blog before! But then have never had cancer before either - so everything’s new and a bit strange. Dagnosed with grade 2 invasive Ductal cancer 2 and 1/2 weeks ago. Had lumpectomy and lymph node clearance ths Wednesday 24/09. Got home yesterday. Don’t get pathology results for 2 weeks but concerned about spread to other areas and the impact of chemotherapy (which I am expecting to be recommended due to node involvement) I currently feel well, healthy and fit despite the surgery and really want to return to work. (I’m a teacher) I feel that everything has happened so quickly and with no prior ill health issues (quite the opposite) can’t get my head round “being ill”. When I look around this site though I feel that so many people’s positions are worse than mine that I am making a fuss (particularly as I don’t even have all the information yet) Everybody thinks I’m being very positive as I have maintained a quite cool pragmatic approach to everything so far, organising timetables and cover at school before leaving on Monday, getting youngest child off to University last weekend, and remaining up beat when telling people as they are so obviously distressed I have felt the need to present a confident front and comfort them. However as I write this I am finally indulging in some self pity and crying, hope this will be cathartic but feeling quite low at the moment.
Hi remel
Welcome to the forum.
As well as the support to be found on here you might find it helps to phone our Helpline to talk over how you’re feeling. They’re open tomorrow from 10-2 (and on weekdays 9-5). The number is 0808 800 6000
Take care
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Hi Remel, I know what you mean, I felt very swept away by it all too. I also had a lumpectomy with a sentinel node biopsy then had to go back for a node clearance. I did my exercises religiously so recovered fairly quickly and went back to work as soon as my 2 week sicknote ended. I had already been told at that stage that I would have chemo to come so I wanted to go back to normality for a little while before it began. I, too, put on a brave face as it’s a way of coping and for me to retain some semblance of control. It helps somewhat as the rest of the time I feel slightly adrift. I do have the odd wobble, but so far I have managed to remain fairly positive, although watch this space when chemo starts, I may be less in control of my emotions then! Best of luck to you in ask of your treatment and beyond
Nicola x
Hi . Have just read your blog and had to reply. I also have never joined a blog before and only registered tonight. I was diagnosed with grade 3 ductal invasive cancer in February. I also had a lumpectomy, few lymph nodes removed followed by 6 sessions of chemo and 15 sessions of radiotherapy . I am now taking tamoxifen. I also work in school but as a hlta . When I read your comments I feel that I am reading about myself! I was diagnosed during the February half term and operated on during the same week. It was like being on a roller coaster, everything happened so quickly. I never felt ill and consider myself very lucky that throughout the whole of my treatment I never even caught a cold! I also wanted to work because the children and work colleagues kept my mind off my illness and things felt relatively normal. The hospital told me I could work as long as I didn’t pick up infections which I never did. I used to have my chemo every 3rd Thursday and go back to school the following Tuesday giving myself a long weekend to get over it. Like you I was positive remaining upbeat for everyone else. However please please make sure you do have a good cry whenever you feel like it. Despite the fact you feel well it’s a big thing that is happening to you and there will be times when you feel low. I finished my treatment mid August. It is only since then that the realisation of the last 9 months has started to sink in. I too feel low and anxious at times, in fact more now than during my treatment. You are so looked after during treatment and suddenly it comes to an abrupt end. Although I am delighted my treatment is finished, it’s really strange. Suddenly you feel on your own! This is the main reason I joined this forum having read lots of comments from so many others who understand how I am feeling. I hope all goes well and you are certainly not making a fuss! I know when I was at your stage I wanted all the information and just wanted to get on with the treatment. I hope you are not feeling too sore after surgery. Good luck .
My breast nurse referred me for CBT, which is very helpful. Like you it was a big shock and telling people was really hard as you end up playing everything down. I had full mastectomy in May and still feel down but that could be the treatment too. Make a fuss - you’re entitled to feel a bit sorry for yourself but could be worse, could be one of your children. I was the healthiest person I knew but the therapy is helping to give a new/different perspective and i still think I’m lucky to have good health. Keep smiling and don’t even think about work, nobody thanks you for going back too soon!!