Sorry, this is a little bit of a rant, but am rather low, get MRI result today and last night I saw my cousin (with whom I was very close and fond of) on MSM. It has been about 2 years since we “spoke” she lives in UK and I in France now, but we were always in touch. I’ve sent updates on life here/BC/usual stuff, sponsor foms (I ran two marathons for charity last year) and the usual things - not a word. SO, I typed in Hello and she came back with Hello Stranger…if there is one thing that gets my back up is someone telling me that - I pride myself on keeping in touch…
So we get typing and all she kept on about was her new job, loads of money, bonus etc etc and going to Portugal on Sat. I had to cut her off as I was cooking, so sent an email and just quickly filled her in on my last two years ops, dx etc etc.
She sent one back saying she’d moved in with her 3rd man (I remember this as I’d wished her luck) to their dream mansion and it turned out badly, ie they had a row and she left, he went and got half the money for the house and gave it to her, she took it now lives in a flat and he’s got a large house, no money and wants her back…! so she’s happy as she’s now got a good job, loads of money, bonuses and half the money from the house - how many times did she mention money!!
She’s off on Sat, so wished me a happy anniversary - she remembers as it’s her daughters birthday - and that was it. No, hope you get on okay, I’ll be in touch when we get back…nothing. I was SOOOO mad, I couldn’t sleep and thought to myself I’d write her a letter telling her that money soon goes, it doesn’t buy you health or happiness and she should try and remember those that care about her and keep in touch, becuase one day she’ll fall over and need someone and they won’t be there for her…but I thought - SODDIT one more of the Christmas card list.
Oh says don’t let things wind you up and forget it. But I now feel sorry for her, she’s 40+ and is clearly driven by money money money (sad to say I was like that) and I just know that in the end it will all end in tears and she’ll come running to me and I will be there for her - but I think WHY SHOULD I. Am I being mean, or is it just my worry of todays results, next operation and the fact that my parents are arriving to stay for a week today…argghghgh.
Best place for a rant I think - really sensible of you to write it all down here than have a ‘go’ at your cousin or your nearest and dearest ( which I probably would have done then regretted it)
You obviously have a lot on your plate at the moment so best to off load what you can and here is a pretty good place!
Hope all goes well today when you get your test results
The sun is shinning here in London hope it is for you.
When something major like this happens, it really makes you take a good long look at other people. This is the second time for me as my son went through cancer when a baby. It is surprising how superficial and shallow lots of people are. their biggest concerns in life is how much money they have and whether their hair is OK. I thought I had lots of close friends until Jonathan, my son had cancer. Most of them disappeared because I was no longer the good time girl they once knew and couldnt be bothered supporting me. Those who I kept in touch with, I chose after a time not to bother with them because they were so shallow. It wasnt as though I wanted to talk about serious issues like death, dying etc. I just wanted to talk to someone with more say than who their latest conquest was and what they had done at the hairdressers. I since have found one or two sincere friends and we all still have a good time and a laugh, but they have much more about them and can see past the cancer and that I am still a real person. As Magsi says, best not to say anything to your cousin. She would only put it down to your condition and that it had turned you funny!!!, She doesnt sound like she is much of a support so let it go. One day, she may have a true crisis to deal with and may reflect on how she treated you.
thanks, appreciate it and have calmed down after walking the dog and have decided not to email or write to her (ever!?) and let’s see if she comes back from her “very expensive” holiday in Portugal and emails me to see how I got on?? Doubt it, but who cares. I have made lots of new friends here in France and they are so supportive and I find that quite strange that I’ve only known them a little over 3 years, yet it seems it’s been forever. They would do anything for us, so there are good people out there.
Family can be a problem, try not to let your sisters seeming lack of concern get to you. She really does not get it, a different world.
France is a wonderful place, my first son was born there.
More importantly good luck with your test results today, who is going with you?
Thinking of you Alice
Just seen all the list of animals you have! Being with them should make you feel better. They always cheer me up, even the smallest bird makes me smile and feel better with life. Is the weather good where you are? I would love to live in France. my mother in laws bought a little house in Culan near Montlucon a few years ago. They couldnt speak a word of French (still cant speak much) but have managed to do it up. I love going there, The food, wine, countryside - marvellous. Is the French medical system good? It has been rated 1st in the world so must be!
They certainly cheer me up, watching the llama give birth was such a wonderful experience and OH helping one of the goats to birth too.
Weather is okay today, 18 degs. they are threatening rain, but nothing yet, so fingers crossed for a week of nice weather as my parents arrive at Rodez later today.
Medical system is good, very very quick, you get a scan/mamo/examine/blood test and the results are in your hand before you leave - don’t understand them of course - but that’s how it is -then you see the Onc and he explains it all - he’s good on English, but we insist he speaks both so we are clear that he understands us and us him - my husband is fluent. So it all helps and I don’t get too stressed as I’m limited as to what I can say.
Thats good that your husband is fluent - I’m sure you will be soon, especially after all this! medical system sounds good - is it expensive? Feeling jealous of you living in France although I would weigh about 29 stone because of all the delicious food, especially the cheeses.
I wish I could say that having lived in France for 2 years that I would be fluent, but alas no! Very embassising and shame on me. Fine for travelling, shopping and childbirth but not for anything else, such a pity. Karen how long have you lived in France? Alice
Having this disease really makes you relook at your priorities in life. I get cross with my partner as he workss far too hard for a company who give him more work and responsibility for very little reward. I want him to see that work is not the be all and end all of life. That is my moan of the day !!!
Oh how I would love to live in France. Can speak a bit -did A level French 3000 years ago. French men seem so sexy but probably not on a day to day basis… Guess France has its slobs like UK
Hi Karen
Sounds as though you may have more than just your parents arriving for the week having read the various comments above. You seem to be acquiring a lot of ‘friends’ in the uk who may be paying you a visit drawn by the men / the food / the wine or your collection of animals.
Magsi