Feeling rubbish

Hi All

I just feel like I need a rant. I was diagnisos Aug 06 and have done the op 15mm invasive ductal grade 3 with 6 lymph involved. Had chemo FEC and Tax, radio and now Heceptin. Did no 14 yesterday, it took 2 and a half hours and 5 attempts to canulate me. I don’t know how much longer I can put a brave face on it all. My arm is black and blue and I have had a splitting headache all day, I have just had a friend diagosis with bone and brain mets 18 months down the line. I feel like crap, I don’t know how to support her. She is going through hell with another chemo and has had whole brain radiation. I feel like I should not be moaning as there are so many people who are worse off than me. But I am scared witless that I am going to need more treatment like my friend. I have been having problems with my neck, they have done an MRI scan which shows that one of the disc is bulging and touching on the nerves, I have been having physio which has help a little, but for the last three months my head has hurt every day. My jaw is now sore and clicking and it is making my head worse. I have had a CT scan of my head which they said is normal. I think they are getting a bit fed up with me. How do other people cope. I have been back at work since April and some days it is an effort to get up. But I do and they all thik I am fine.
Sorry to rant on and on. But it has been a bad day. When will this all get better !!!

Oh poor you Geraldine. You rant away after your awful experience yesterday. You are brave to be at work with all of this. I hope you get some rest tonight. No one will be fed up with you; that’s just how you see it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit better. Thinking of you.

Margaret x

You deserve a rant, you are going through so much just now. Why do your work think you are fine? Tell them you are not. Explain that you have set backs (like the canula, your joint pain, your friend with secondaries) These things all matter. Are you working full time? If so, could you consider going part time? Speak to your human resources person or the boss if it’s a small company. You have rights and they have a duty of care towards you, just like if you had a disability, because you have, all be it temporary we hope.

Take care


Oh My goodness Geraldine what a time you are having. I think because your friend has these secondaries you are in high anxiety mode imagining you have them, and its perfectly normal to be like that. I am sure others on here will say they have been the same.
i wont go near a secondaries forum on here as i know if i read someone has had this symptom or result and have bone, brain or liver mets i will instantly think if i have similar pain i have secondaries.

Oh my your still working well i am amazed at you. As Irene says you need to look into this. I was talking to someone today who is having herceptin too and she doesnt feel at all well and was saying she couldnt think of going back to work. I am sure people on herceptin will help you here. It must have side affects.

all credit to you for wanting to get on with your life but i think you need a break from work hun.

I just cannot imagine how i would cope with herceptin as since chemo my veins are not there, and even a simple blood test is impossible.

big big cyber hug for you and let us know how you are.


To all you lovely ladies that replied

Yes I am feeling better today. My head feels clearer and life feels a bit brighter. You are all right, working and having Heceptin is hard.I had my six months off and went back just after rads when the full pay stopped. I don’t have a choice. I know that I only have 4 more to go and then keeping fingers cross I will start to feel better.
I was interested Liverbird that the person you were talking to said she felt unwell on Heceptin, it does have a long list of side effects but the way it is sold to you is that it will be a walk in the park after chemo.

Anyway thanks for replying it did cheer me up as I was feeling a bit of a wimp. I am off for a cup of tea and a bit of chocolate cake!!!

Hi Geraldine, Its been four years since I went through my" treatment",not much of a treat I can tell you, Epirubicin and cyclophosphamide were not to bad but the taxol was brutal, got pains in my legs like someone was hitting me with a baseball bat, rather sore!!!. one of the girls at work got her diagnosis on the last day of term ( work in a school for special needs ) It really pisses me off that someone that close is going to have to go through the same thing, I’m also a bit worried that next year I come off Tamoxifen and go for 2 yearly mammos (yeah!) so if I’m not that vigilant what are the chances of something coming back… F…g big don’t you think.
We are all going through this for the first time so you are quite entitled to feel a bit shit or feel a wimp, Its bloody hard , not that easy in the slightest, Yes we all have to be brave and stick 2 fingers up at it , but we are also allowed to have a few down days, no-one can be stupid enough not to be a bit scared. Play loud music ,dance up and down ( if you can ) Its our life here, we have to fight for it,nobody can judge you unless they know how you feel. I did a zip wire for Marie Curie fundraising for a new hospice in Glasgow, bloody fantastic,we can get through this, I know its not easy, just keep on going x