Feeling scared

Feeling scared

Feeling scared Hi everyone, not been on this site for a while, been doing ok until now! Got my check up tomorrow and am panicing big time. Last appointment was with radio chap in March and he said everything was ok. Now l keep thinking if it is back l’m going on holiday anyway ( missed out last year and this ones booked for two weeks time) If it’s back will l be able to go through it all again? will it be the last time l will be able to wear a bikini with my own boobs in it? How will my mother cope if it returns again ( she’s 88 ). I haven’t told anyone these thoughts and as usual try to put on a brave face. Sorry to ramble on so much but l guess the bottom line is l’m scared.

So are we all sometimes Hi, it is understandable to be scared. I recently had a check up where I was sent for my first mammogram. I did not expect to go until November which would have been a year after treatment finished and not just over a year from diagnosis. Being sent without any warning meant I didn’t have to worry about it but I have been eagerly waiting for the post each day to see if I get a call back!! I know my prognosis was good but it doesn’t stop the brain going into overdrive.
So do not worry about rambling on as there are many of us who have felt the same way as you do now. It is better to talk to people who understand what you are feeling than to sit quietly at home with the brain working in all sorts of directions!!!
Hope that all will be ok for you tomorrow and there will be a lot of people sending you hugs to help you cope.
Take care. Angela.

Will be thinking of yo Hi Angela

My brain is always going into overdrive, especially when I go to bed and turn the light off the light in my brain switches on and the gremlins attack my mind.

Sending you lots of hugs and will be thinking of you tomorrow

Take care


I’ve finished all my treatment and so far haven’t had any further tests… I’m like you - all of a sudden I get this sense of “doom” come over me and turn into a wreck inside whilst on the outside people keep saying how brave I am - if they could spend one hour inside my head they’d realise what a good actress I am.

boy do i agree! i feel the same trying to be brave is hard my treatment finished in feb but still scared it will come back as i had lobular and there is a strong likelyhood of reacurrance in other boob. find my rib is sore on scar site so worried it could have spred i just think its always in the back of your mind just have to keep it there!! not easy. love lynn x

Its natural Ann, We are all very scared deep down - I like you am due for my check up on Friday this week - have been doing fine since my herceptin finished in Feb - now I have to think about going back to a place I don’t want to be.

The big What If? is looming. I know exactly how you feel about being ok one minute and a wreck the next. Will this feeling every end - I’m 2 years in August post diagnosis and had treatment for a long 18 months. Boy was I glad to get to the end of it, I’m now beginning to panic tho as I had Grade 3 and HER+ which is more agressive,

We have to just hang in there and enjoy each day we can. Its hard but posting on this site really does help.

Take Care, be thinking of you, good luck
Clemy x