I was diagnosed with bc as a result of routine screening, it was stage one, grade one and ER receptive. I’m now 4 years cancer free. The mum of my daughter in law was diagnosed with triple
Negative bc three years ago and went through every treatment option open to her. She sadly died 3 days ago. We were the same age and I feel so sad that she went through such pain and I got away with the minimum of treatment,
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Hi Yolande55
That’s very sad to read. I too was diagnosed stage 1 grade 1 Er+ 3 years ago after a routine mammogram caught it. Still okay thankfully and I’m glad you are too. I’m sure you will have had hormone therapy and surgery which isn’t always easy. I was terrified and felt guilty that I was feeling so sorry for myself despite my prognosis being good and things being found early. It’s okay to let yourself feel grateful for that.
I also have a close family member who had triple negative and they threw everything at it and she had a tough time with chemo which made my experience look like a holiday, so I do understand your feelings. Everyone’s journey is different. You are well and that’s a wonderful thing. You will be able to support your daughter in law through the grief of losing her mother.
So sorry x
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I’m so sorry to hear about your loss . A lot of us whether we were low grade or not have feelings of guilt either because we think we had it easy or just because we’re still here .
Its not quite the same thing but I was grade 1 stage 1 as well and the day after it was confirmed that my margins were clear and my SNLB was negative my lovely funny colleague who I had known for 30 years died of prostate cancer . I have a partner but no children yet he was taken from a loving wife and family . I remember going from feeling happy and relieved to angry grief stricken and above all guilty - so conflicted . I was in such a state I went out walking in a gale and it took being almost blown over the sea wall to help me get some perspective. I didn’t even want to tell my colleagues my good news because it felt like it would be in terrible taste . However his passing had left them feeling really flat and they were glad to hear some better news .
I really feel for you - it’s especially hard when there’s a family connection . All we can do is to cherish their memories and to try to live well in the knowledge that life is fragile. Xx
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Dear Yolanda 55,
What sad news about your daughter-in-law. I think most of us who have had breast cancer always feel how relieved we are to have come out the other side, however extremely sad when we know of other who have not been so lucky,
Condolences, to you and your family at this very sad time, leaving children is a very sad situation.
Looking after yourself, take one day a time hopefully you will start to feel a bit better soon.
With love Tili 
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I am so sorry to hear about your daughter in-laws mum. Although we all have breast cancer, this term covers many varieties of this disease.
My daughter in-law’s mother died suddenly at the age of 54 three years ago, she was 5 years younger than me and I felt guilty as I was older and still alive. I am still very much aware that my son has a mother but she doesn’t, so I make a special effort to do things her mother would do without being too invasive such as short notice childcare and spend as much on her for Xmas and birthday’s as I do with my own children. I don’t know if I succeed but I try. Your daughter in law is fortunate to have such a caring mother in law.
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Hi Yolande55
That must have been very difficult for you and your family and I’m so sorry for you all.
I believe it’s called survivors guilt as told to me by a counsellor and is a very natural thing to feel.
But it’s ok to be grateful for the fact that you survived.
I’m sure both your son and daughter in law are thankful that you are there for them both.
Take it day by day but look after yourself 🩷
Lynn
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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. There is no reason or rhyme for these things. Take it one day at a time. X