Had my third excision surgery on Friday to try and get clear margins and have just been feeling so rubbish ever since.
The pain from the procedure isn’t too bad, just random stabbing pains that I’m managing with the pain meds from hospital but the op generally just seems to have wiped me out this time.
Been getting killer headaches, sore bloodshot eyes, really dry itchy skin and today I attempted a shower and just had handfuls of hair coming out 
I don’t know if this is stress, everything building up and taking its toll or the result of 3 anaesthetics in just over 3 months but it’s really all just rubbish!
Hasn’t helped that the hospital messed up my discharge paperwork so I’ve also been trying to ring around and sort a wound clinic appointment and get a medical certificate for work too. Trying not to panic about results as know this is last shot at clear margins.
All just seems too much today
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Hello @angharad
I’m so sorry to read your post and hear how rubbish you are feeling.
You’ve certainly been put through the mill with repeated surgeries and the wait, the results, the building yourself up, only to be given bad news, it isn’t any wonder that you are feeling so rubbish.
I’d really like to wave a magic wand and make it all better for you, which clearly I can’t but we are all here for you and I’m sure some other members will be along to help with some moral support
For the time being, I’d suggest just taking one day at a time, try and find some little bits of joy amongst all the rubbish stuff, I really hope that the sun is shining where you are. It will get better I promise
AM xxx
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Hi,
So sorry you are feeling rubbish but it’s no wonder! I’m 6 days post op, had such a great day yesterday and have woken up today feeling grim without any identifiable reason, and I’ve only had the one op!
It can be so disheartening to feel like we’ve taken a step backwards and after 3 goes on this crappy merry go round I can imagine its hard to feel as if you’ve made any progress at all. I would feel rubbish too.
Give yourself permission to feel rubbish for a while. Plan yourself a few little treats. A purchase or an activity that you can use to reward yourself for your patience and diligence. Maybe get together online or at a Maggie’s centre with other women who know what you are going through. I think that’s what I will do anyway if I dont feel any ‘lighter’ tomorrow.
You are in good company and I will be thinking of you and willing you onto better things very soon.
Take care
Gina (@krissykochanski )
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@angharad
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to have so many surgeries to get clear margins, fingers crossed this will be the last.
It’s not great that you’ve had to chase up things that should have been put in place, you seem determined to get it sorted.
It’s normal to feel rubbish, try not to be hard on yourself, you have been through a lot. Feel free to rant on here, we are hear to listen and respond, to be there for you.
Hoping you get things sorted and start to feel a bit better soon.
Be kind to yourself 
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