You know, about three months ago my life was happy go lucky. I would have my children every other weekend. My mum would come for dinner every Sunday when i had the kids. My lovely girlfriend “Heidi” would be there for that event, good food, good wine and great company. Later on after dinner we would all sit around and watch tv, I would pretend to get wound up and annoyed at either the strictly come dancing or the other xfactor like shows. If I’m honest as a 42 year old guy, that was my wind up for the week. I am a c&g carpenter and a man of very few words, however i find it right to write my thoughts down in the hope that someone else in my position might read them and realise that they are not alone… As I feel very alone. My girlfriend has breast cancer… Again, not for the first time! She first got it 6 years ago and had a mastectomy, reconstruction and chemo. When I met her last year she had just been given her 5 years all clear “you are as likely to catch it as someone who has never had it!”… Thanks dr. Our national Heath is awesome. All the nurses and drs seem to work long hours for little rewards, they put up with so much that a normal person would crumble at. I APPLAUD YOU! There is a but… Here it is. How after a all clear in January this year can my girlfriend be diagnosed with breast cancer and secondary cancer in her liver and bones. She did everything her oncologist asked… Temosifem, broccoli, eat well, live well! There is something fundamentally wrong with this, as it turns out there are many other cases. A full body scan would surely of foreseen this. I’m lying in bed next to her now. She is moaning in her sleep in pain, having just finished her second chemo cycle. Man alive i wish life was happy go lucky again… Love her to bits though and will be with her always. The times that are good out way the bad times… No one in Our circle needs to know time factors… I love her dearly and the sad thing is it took this to see that
Oh Matty that is so heartfelt I really feel for you. Everyone says 'live for day" but none of us really do , we get bogged down in the minuitae of everday life. it takes something like this to bring us up short and appreciate what weve got. How did the Drs miss it earlier you ask - well my Onc said that a body scan was a bit like an MOT - yes you can have one to check for BC but it is only good on that day and things may go wrong the next day. The bc may be so small it can’t be seen or it may just develop after the scan - a bit like my car getting a puncture the day after the MOT (although a hundred times worse).
You sound a really kind man, your partner is in for a rough ride but she is lucky to have a good man to be with her through it .
Look after yourself too and come on here to let off steam when you need to - there is lots of support here.
good luck to you both.
caroline
Dear Matty
Welcome to the forum where I hope you will find lots of support from fellow members.
As well as the support to be found on the forum it might also help to talk to someone on our Helpline. They can offer information and support to anyone affected by breast cancer, including famiy and friends. The opening hours are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator