Feeling very low and disappointed

I went for my stereotactic biopsies on Friday and also had a further US. The doctor was absolutely lovely, very patient and caring but she told me two things. Firstly that the biopsies were just for further investigations into some large calcifications and then that actually I have two lumps in my breast that need further investigation rather than just the one, which came as a shock.

Results of Friday’s tests will be at least 10 days and on top of that I have to go back to my local hospital for them to do a biopsy of each of the lumps. If I had strongly insisted on it she would have done the other biopsies but she felt it would have been cruel to do so as I was already in a bit of a mess after the stereo. Whilst I was disappointed, given how horribly bruised I am and how much I bled, I think that was the best decision at the time.

However, I am very disappointed as I had really hoped that this time someone would be able to tell me what is going on but instead I am going to have wait even longer to find out - it could be another 3 weeks by the time I have a new appt, the tests and then the results and that’s the best estimate at the moment.

I am sleeping so badly and feeling very depressed about it all because of course it is the waiting and not knowing that is the hardest part. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do with myself at the moment as I feel like I am living in some kind of weird limbo land. I think I may have to go to my GP for something to help me sleep as I can’t go on as things are right now.

Sorry to moan but I feel so down about it all.

Hi nymeria,
Have you thought about calling your local hospital to ask if they have an earlier appointment, or if you can get to hospital easily, request any cancellation appointment. I’ve done this with some success on a few occasions.I’ve also called for results, days earlier than they should been in and again I’ve had success with this.
Seeing your GP sounds a good idea, lets face it the waiting is what gets all of us down and not sleeping is terrible, everything is so much worse at night.
Also don’t forget the BCC helplines, just speaking to someone often helps. Keep your chin up,good luck with your scans etc.,
Sandra x

hiya i was dig dcis on wed 22 sep im a bit like you just now in limbo, im waiting on app to go see ps i have to get mx and recon its been 8 weeks since my journey began and like you i couldnt sleep went to see my gp and they have given me some sleeping tablets, he was very understanding,I phoned bcn on thur because i havent heard anything she has said hopfuly i will have a date on mon the waiting and the mind games ive played on myself are the worse. All i can say is try and stay positive thats how im coping x

Hi. Reading your post made me tearful and is exactly what i felt and i am still feeling. The waiting part for me was absolutely awful. Unfortunately, i was diagnosed with BC. Got my results on Friday. Still in shock. Frightened, depressed, shocked, angry. I was and still am experiencing the awful feelings. I haven’t slept for about 6 days or eaten and have obviously lost weight because i just cannot eat. Experiencing depression and panic attacks but my husband dragged me to the emergency doctors surgery today after experiencing what i can only describe as body convulsions. He has prescribed me diazepam and some sleeping tablets so hopefully now i will be able to get some sleep, eat and fight this horrible battle. Just remember though babe, you haven’t even had your results and although its the worst time waiting, most of the time the results are good news. Even if you don’t get the news you want (and i will pray that you do), keep posting on the forum. It does help. Keep posting because all the feelings you are going through have been experienced by all of us and we can be here to talk you through it. Its hard, and sometimes you feel like you are never going to get through it but somehow you do. My husband had to literally carry me to the car to go to the breast institute to get my results. It was the worst time ever. Its still a real nightmare and i can’t believe its happening to me but i have to accept that it is and be strong. you will be surprised at how much you can actually cope with even if at the time you feel like curling into a ball and trying to make it all go away. I really feel for you. Please keep on hoping whatever way it goes and i will keep my fingers crossed and pray that everything will be fine. Let us know how you go on and if by some small chance its bad news then it will help to get your feelings out on this forum. It has certainly helped me and the women on here are absolutely wonderful. Take care sweetheart. Loads of love, Debbie. xxxx

Hi Ladies,
Just a quick post to say hello and to send you all positive vibes and huge cyber hugs. The waiting is so awful and there’s not much anyone can do to alleviate the feelings of worry that you endure. I went through the same in Feb/March this year and it was the most awful time imaginable. The good side is that day by day you do get there and somehow find the strength to manage through it.
I still can’t believe it’s all happening to me and I’ve had my op and gone through chemo and all its side effects and am now about to begin radiotherapy…it’s a heck of a journey but I am travelling iy and you will too and you will be fine.

Load of support to get you through it all is on here and has helped me immensely and I have met some fab people on here who understand what it’s all like.
Anyway enough rambling just wanted to say good luck with results or treatments, stay strong…we’re not going to let this yukky thing defeat us are we girls???

Hugs to you all
Suze xx

Thank you everyone for your wonderful support! I had a truly awful weekend caused mainly I think by being depressed and disappointed after Friday. I just cannot believe that I am going to have to wait even longer for a dx.

My poor husband has a severe anxiety disorder and this is not helping him much either. He is doing his best but at the moment I feel I am having to be strong for both of us which doesn’t help matters.

I am definitely going to my gp to get some help regarding sleeping and I will ask her if there is anything she can do to help speed the whole process up. I am also going to ring the breast clinic to see if I can either get an earlier appointment or at least go on their cancellation list. I’d take anything at this stage!

It helps a huge amount having people to talk to (even if stupid broadband means I am offline for hours at a time) and I am so grateful to have found such a warm, friendly and supportive community.

I promise to keep you all posted on developments as soon as I have any news.

Thanks again!

Nymeria xx

Hi everyone,

Yesterday afternoon I decided that even at the risk of being seen as a nuisance, I would call the local hospital to see what they could do to help. I spoke to the consultant’s secretary who was very understanding. She got my notes out and said that they already know that I need to have the two lumps biopsied asap and that they are just waiting for the report from Friday’s tests to arrive so that a decision can be made on when to call me back. She has promised that the moment everything arrives she will present it to the consultant and will call me personally to let me know about appts etc.

As it’s only been two working days since the tests I think it is unlikely that I’ll hear anything until at least the end of the week but at least I was able to make contact with someone.

Well done for staying on top of this - let’s hope you won’t have to wait for much longer. finty xx