Feeling very low...


I was told on 24th I had breast cancer… more than likely. My sister had a mastectomy at my age … same symptoms.

my 56mm mass then is now probably 80mm. Throbbing. I don’t go back till 14th April. 

I feel very alone as a single mum 

Hello Michelle,

Just saw your message about your diagnosis and feeling low. It’s especially hard I think when you’re feeling low and it’s late at night. Nothing to distract you from your fears and with your little one (ones?) asleep. 

I remember when I was first diagnosed over two years ago, how my fears came out in a big way night time and I couldn’t sleep. I could almost feel the lump growing but they do grow only very slowly, not enough to feel any difference in three weeks. I’m not a single parent but I am on my own. I remember worrying that I wouldn’t be around for my grandchildren for much longer.  Fears just balloon especially in that time before you have your treatment plan. When you have your appointment on 14th you’ll know more about what treatment you need to tackle the type of breast cancer that you might have. Often women feel better once they have their treatment plan. Write down questions you want to ask. it might help you to ring the Nurses tomorrow on this website for support in the meantime.  Try to keep away from googling random websites. This website is very good and up to date.  Just sending you a virtual hug. I’m sure you’ll get more replies from the morning, more helpful than mine. Hoping you are able to get some sleep tonight, though. Look after yourself, try not to put any pressure on yourself and let us know, if you want to, how you get on.



Dear Michelle,

Thinking of you, wishing you lots of luck for the 14th April. Cancer is a lonely word and place, on this site you will find comfort from some wonderful ladies who have been in your position.
You can have the largest family and group of friends or the smallest and life can be just as difficult, some understand much better than other, myself I have been in some dark places over the past few years, find talking to other who have had breast cancer is the best way forward. Maybe call the nurses on this site, unload your fears with a gentle voice at the other end of the phone. 
Keep posting, and let us know how doing. Take one day at a time. With love and a big hug
Tili :rainbow: x

Hi MIchelle

I’m so sad that you’ve had this probable diagnosis and face such a long wait. It doesn’t help with there being a long bank holiday break, which sets back all appointments but there are two things essential to understand and accept. First, test results can’t be rushed. Your multi-disciplinary team will need all the data before they can work out the best treatment plan, because it’s not a case of one size fits all. BUT you can be certain your MDT have you best interests at heart and you will learn to trust them. So the three-week wait isn’t unusual and definitely isn’t a risk. As sandpiper says, things don’t move that fast. But we’ve all been there, picturing those nasty cells multiplying inside us - I couldn’t massage one end of my mastectomy scar for two months because a CT scan showed enlarged lymph nodes and I was convinced that touching it would send the little b******s scattering. I can laugh now but I was really fearful.

The second thing is that, if your diagnosis is confirmed and you embark on a treatment plan, there is a LOT of waiting. Waiting for tests, waiting for results, waiting for the doctor who’s running an hour late, waiting while your notes that have gone AWOL get located… I could add so many waits. Unfortunately, the system is not going to change much so you are going to need to adapt to it. This isn’t easy. Your emotional wellbeing is going to play a key part in how you manage the treatments - whether you sit nauseous with anxiety, scream at the kids, get wound up over treatments. This is something you can do something about. I’m speaking as someone who has suffered severe anxiety and panic attacks all her adult life. You may feel you have the concentration span of a gnat right now but that’s a start.

The important thing is practice. You can’t just summon it up when you want it. So why not use this waiting time to explore possibilities? There are apps the NHS recommends like Calm and Headspace. There are techniques you can practise like meditation, mindfulness, EFT (with a bit of guidance). Reiki now that practitioners have been able to restart. YouTube is a treasure trove of self-help videos and, if you choose wisely, these can be invaluable. My favourite is Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing - it saw me through all my treatments and got me back to sleep at 5 this morning. But Michael Sealey has a good range of safe self-hypnosis (basically, relaxation/sleep) videos. Just don’t get drawn into anything that demands money from you. Find a more reliable source for that. 

I hope by the 14th, you feel a bit more able to cope. Write down your questions as they crop up now. Use your sister’s experience of the whole thing to work out what you want clarifying. You probably won’t even have the same kind of breast cancer. But also decide how much information you can handle. I numbed out and just let them get on with it. The fine details didn’t matter to me then. But maybe you’re someone who needs to know every detail. Decide now what you can handle because, once you know, you can’t unknow something! I wish you all the best,

Jan x

Hello Michelle ,

I am so sorry and I feel for you with being a single mum, it is going to be very hard on you and you child trying to explain about cancer, how old is your child ? I also hope that you have friends and especially family support sweetie, there is gonna e a lot of questions you will probably want to ask your own cancer nurse and consultant, these are a very caring fantastic team, so what do they have you on Letrozole or anastrozole, try and read up on as much as you can and please don’t be scared xx make sure you have somebody with you throughout your treatment from start to finish as it is going to be a long journey sweetie, I can sort of imagine what is racing through your mind who is gonna help me?? What about my child ?? Who will care for my child while I have the operation and help care for us both while I recover from my op?? All I can say there will always be somebody there to help a well as on here you can also contact McMillan Cancer , so your emotions are going to be all over the road try and keep a positive mind for your child don’t dwell on your cancer it’s there and your getting help has your consultant mentioned breast conserving surgery as I nearly had a mastectomy but I was offered this chance so I ok I and I am so glad I did but if in doubt phone your cancer nurse, if you have too or a cancer community  there will always be someone to chat to.  
ok do you know the date of your op?? I reckon they will have you maybe number 2 to go down to theatre but make sure you ask the nurses your consultant your Anaesthetist, as these are the people who will be looking after you, write all your meds down that you are taking even supplements like vitamin B Complex also make sure you start taking ASAP vitamin D3 these will help you with your bones to strengthen  as some of the meds they give you can effect our bones  also make a note of allergies like stuff your allergic to so they can help you on that as well ok,.but I’m always here if you want to message me remember you are not alone hope things speed up for you take care and think of your child also if you have a pet they do help relieve a lot of stress good luck sweetie you will be fine xxxx