I had a lumpectomy jan 14 followed by auxillary node clearence in March 14. 18 weeks of chemo then 4 weeks of radio finishing october 14. I have managed to get full range of motion back in my shoulder, I’ve just completed the 5k RAce for Life and have gone back to my hobby of scuba diving. I have lost the weight I put on due to the treatment. I have very few, if any side effects of Tamoxifen, I’m sleeping well so all appears to great. So why am I so weepy all the time?
I’m seeing a counsellor and have spoken to my breast care nurse, both of whom are a great support but I am just so frightened of taking steps forward. My husband is supportive but he doesn’t understand how emotional I am feeling.
strawberryblond
Hello Strawberryblond
Welcome to the forums, this must be very difficult time for you. I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime, maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer practical information as well as emotional support. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi strawberry blond
I know how you feel. I have just been given the ‘all clear’ and I was absolutely elated at first but this morning I unexpectedly burst into tears, which took me completely by surprise. I think it was partly relief and partly a bit of delayed shock. Although members are able to discuss most things on the forum sometimes they may have other problems that are just too private to share but which they have to cope with nevertheless. One way to describe how we are both feeling is to imagine that we have been swimming on a deep sea using a float and although we are now capable of swimming on our own we feel nervous now that the ‘float’ has been taken from us. At least that is how I see it. Like many others we have been through the mill emotionally due to the cancer and it is only natural for it to take time to regain our equilibrium - I suppose that we should remember the oft repeated good advice on here - one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
So glad I’ve got this forum. I was told Friday all good and next appointment March. I should be celebrating but all I’m feeling is alone, weepy and scared! How do you explain this to people when they are chuffed for you. I’m still swollen, which I’m told can last a few more months, the stinging I’m getting apparently has no end date ‘a week a year or 2 who knows?’
Sorry for the moan but just had a good cry, by myself and then came on here.
Shell x
It’s a blooming emotional roller coaster , even when you get good news it has an impact on you and makes you feel a bit vulnerable.The whole process is really scary and we are living under loads of stress and anxiety for months not surprising you feel teary.Think it will take a long time to feel less wobbly,hard for people who have not gone through it to understand that you are not perfectly fine just because you have had all clear.
Thank you all for your replies and insight. It is a huge relief that others feel like this and I am not alone. Thank you lovely ladies
Strawberryblond
Brilliant…makes complete sense! Bright boy 
x
New way I thinking about it! Made me smile…