Fertility - Am I Selfish?

Hi. My girlfriend and i have been together now for almost two years. We are both 29. I love her very much and we are very happy together. On 4th September she got diagnosed with Grade 3 invasive ductile cancer, progest/oestrogen +. She had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago and is doing really well. It’s healed well and looks in proportion etc… Now the doctors are saying that she has had all the cancer removed which is great, but to undergo a course of chemo as a preventative measure. This obviously has it’s implications on fertility. With everything that we have had to deal with the last thing on her mind is having a baby, also we are pretty young and this is not something we were yet ready to think about. But, we both want kids and want to have them with each other. it’s also made me think about kids a lot and how much i actually want them. So today we went to the fertility clinic as she was on the first day of her period. However she has a cyst (normal and not to cause any worry) on her ovary and they are now saying they can’t give her the hormones to increase the egg production as it will increase the size of the cyst and not the amount of eggs. So now we have 2 choices

1 - a drug that will maintain her period in the early stages and give the cyst a chance to go down after which they will drain it and give her the course of hormones after that.
2 - wait for three weeks and see if the cyst is still there, suppress it if it is and then go ahead with the treatment at her next period.

The trouble is that she has had enough of waiting for things to start and wants to get the chemo started so it can end as soon as possible. Also she doesn’t want to have anymore hormones and drugs in her then is necessary. I completely understand her feelings on this but I really want her to go for the treatment as in my eyes the delay to the chemo would only be about 3 weeks to a month. We have been told we have as much time as we want for fertility treatment (up to 2 attempt) so there is no great risk to her health to do this. I worry that her desire to just get this chemo done and out of the way will affect her and our future. But at the same time it’s hard to press my side as it feels like i am just asking for what i want and not concerned with her well being.

Does any one have advice for me? She is quite fit and healthy so do we have a good chance of conceiving naturally anyway after chemo? We need to make a decision soon to start one of the treatments on monday. We both have a good and open relationship, there’s no problem talking about this and we are doing so. I would love to know what people think and if there are any of you in similar situations? Thanks for listening…

Hi i am 32 with grade 3 BC and have just finished chemo.
My periods have never been late throughout and i am still ovulating.

Personally at 29 i wouldnt have any drugs to remove my eggs as if the cancer she has is oestrogen positive its just giving it a massive dose of what feeds it. Another way of looking at it is to have IVF to get the eggs out then chemo will deal with any nasties that may have been egged on.

Cyst wise i had an orange sized one in pregnancy and they just left it alone and it popped…

Either way delaying chemo is not ideal as yes the lump is out but the reason we have chemo is to kill stray cells and if she has any they will be going around unchecked.

At 29 her fetility should be totally fine but like with everything there are always exceptions and risks involved.

Good luck guys
chemo is doable if not pretty grotty at times

hi

I too am 29 and have an invasive ductal carcinoma, strongly hormonal receptive etc. Just like you we are concerned about fertility, especially as we’ve just got married and were planning on having kids soon. We saw the fertility specialist and discussed our options. There’s ivf which we’ve decided against as there are other risks involved and we didn’t like the thought of freezing embryos for at least 5 years. Plus at 29 you have to pay for it and it’s thousands. We’ve been offered an injection though which protects the ovaries during chemo, I can’t remember the name of but I’ll try and find it out for you. I have cysts on my ovaries too.
Our specialist says we can have ivf afterwards and it’ll be free then. Plus she says that with this injection, after chemo my fertility should be similar to that of someone just a few years older as at 29 we have age on our side.
There’s more I can say but I’m just typing this on my iPod so I’ll do it when I’m on my computer.
Em

Injection is Zolodex.

Yup that sounds like the thing, it’s a gnrh analogue thing.
Em