I’m finding it very hard to cope. My mum was diagnosed with having breast cancer in 2001, she was given radiotherapy for it. In 2006 she was diagnosed (after 6 months) of having an angiosarcoma (?) due to the radiotherapy she received in 2001. The doctors to-ed and fro-ed as they had never heard of this happening so quickly (5 years after being given the radiotherapy). My mum has been suffering with back pain for quite a few months now, and can now barely walk. She was given pain killers which didn’t help but was eventually sent for an MRI scan. On Tuesday we (my family) found out that her cancer has come back (secondary to the breast or the antiosarcoma - we just don’t know). She has a 6cm tumour at the top of her right leg with ‘bits’ showing on her spine.
My family are absolutely devastated and are finding it very difficult to function. She finds out more information from the oncologist on Tuesday re treatment (if any) and really the extent of the cancer, as the information was given to her by a neurologist, who put her forward for the MRI scan. My mum has had no quality of life for the past few months, she has been housebound.
I know that my family adjusted to the news way back when she was diagnosed with both the cancer and the angiosarcoma, but as it is secondary its like a timebomb waiting to go off. I can’t think of a life without my mum. She is only 61 years old and doesn’t deserve this time and time again. My husband doesn’t understand what i’m going through.
Really, i’m just looking for some supportive words, if anybody out there can give me any.
Hello…I saw your post whilst looking for some similar support myself - maybe we can help each other??
My mom was orginally diagnosed in 2003, had mastectomy and chemo and seemed to be doing well. In Oct 2006 we found out that the cancer had spread to her liver and she started more chemo and Herceptin. I hurriedly arranged my wedding at this time, as I wanted her to look and feel her best for this special day.
She was going along really well on just Herceptin until March this year when she started having headaches and we found out it had now spread to brain!!!
She had radio therapy and started on Lapitinib and again seemed to be doing so well.
6 weeks ago we were at my brother in law’s wedding and she looked fab in her lovely little wig and she really enjoyed herself. The only problem for her was that she had to wear flat shoes instead of sky scraping stilletos!!!
2 weeks ago we went to Spain for a few days, just me, Mom and Dad and it was great but suddenly after we had been there 3 days she got really sick. She was vomitting, had no balance at all and couldn’t eat or drink anything. In a state of panic, I arranged some flights home and we arrived back in the UK and took her straight to hospital, where she still is now.
She has deteriated so fast I cannot believe it. She is sleeping about 23 hours a day and cannot walk. She has to be taken to the bathrom in a wheel chair and even this is an effort. She is hardly earting or drinking. She is confused alot of the time that she is awake.
Her Oncologist is coming to ‘have a chat’ with us tomorrow and I guess its not going to be about anything that we want to hear. I have no brothers or sisters…my husband is great but being a police officer, is also very practical and pragmatic about things. I am a mess. I cannot sleep, eat or work propoerly. Luckily I have my own business and am able to spend as much time with mom as I want to but some days even find this so diffciutly.
Like you, I cannot think of life without my mom…she has been my very bestest friend for so liong. I thought I would have more of a sign when things were going to get really bad and that I would have been able to tick off all my ‘lasts’ - last time we went shopping together, last time we went for coffee at the coffee house, last time we went to health spa. now it seems I will not have that opporutinty and I cannot deal with it.
I am scared of what is going to happen and how we are going to care for her and how my Dad will deal with it all.
I dont know what to say to people…ITS JUST SO UNFAIR!!!
I suppose I havent been of much support to you but for me, at least, it is a small comfort to know I am not alone in feeling like I do…
Much Love
I feel so much for you Dawn. I have been there with my daughter who had two brain tumours … she had been doing so well and was so bubbly and planning her future and then bang the headaches started and it was discovered she then had two brain tumours … she was determined it wasn’t going to get her down and was still optimistic and cheerful but the cancer had other ideas and she deteriorated really fast over a couple of weeks and then other complications set in and she died in June … only 13 months after diagnosed with breast cancer. If someone had told me a year before that this would happen I wouldn’t believe it. She had a very aggressive cancer and you don’t know how many times I have shouted …ITS SO UNFAIR. Like you.
I am thinking about you and your Mum and hoping that there is something they can do for her. It is so awful watching someone you love so much got through the vomiting, the confusion, and the lack of balance and it seems that nothing is being done. I really do know how you feel and hope that might help slightly. The lovely people on here are so supportive and i am sure you will get more replies … it does help believe me.
Keep as strong as you can.
Love Sue x