Finding it hard to cope

I’m finding it very hard to cope. My mum was diagnosed with having breast cancer in 2001, she was given radiotherapy for it. In 2006 she was diagnosed (after 6 months) of having an angiosarcoma (?) due to the radiotherapy she received in 2001. The doctors to-ed and fro-ed as they had never heard of this happening so quickly (5 years after being given the radiotherapy). My mum has been suffering with back pain for quite a few months now, and can now barely walk. She was given pain killers which didn’t help but was eventually sent for an MRI scan. On Tuesday we (my family) found out that her cancer has come back (secondary to the breast or the antiosarcoma - we just don’t know). She has a 6cm tumour at the top of her right leg with ‘bits’ showing on her spine.

My family are absolutely devastated and are finding it very difficult to function. She finds out more information from the oncologist on Tuesday re treatment (if any) and really the extent of the cancer, as the information was given to her by a neurologist, who put her forward for the MRI scan. My mum has had no quality of life for the past few months, she has been housebound.

I know that my family adjusted to the news way back when she was diagnosed with both the cancer and the angiosarcoma, but as it is secondary its like a timebomb waiting to go off. I can’t think of a life without my mum. She is only 61 years old and doesn’t deserve this time and time again. My husband doesn’t understand what i’m going through.

Really, i’m just looking for some supportive words, if anybody out there can give me any.

Hi Emz,

hope you are feeling a bit better,but if not,here you can talk about it. We all have/had bad times and it does help if you can share your problems with other people in the same situation. Just tell us about it and we will try to help

love Maroke

Hi again Emz,

I hope everything goes ok with your Mum tomorrow. I know it’s a blow when you get the news. But you do adjust and once the shock wears off you can start thinking of how to cope. I have mets in liver, lungs and bones. I felt really helpless when I got the diagnose. But once they started treating me I started feeling better, at least I was doing something to fight it.

What has helped me most is being able to come to this forum and talk to people who know, who are going through the same thing. No matter how well people mean, if you don’t go thbrough it yourself you don’t know.

As for treatment for your Mum…there are so many chemos they can try, I’m sure they’ll find something that works so your Mum can be with you for hopefully a good many years

Meanwhile I’m crossing my fingers for her tomorrow

Love Maroke

Thanks so much Maroke for those words. They mean a lot.

My mum is just in so much pain, I just want it to go away.

emz

My wife was the same, first diagnosed in 1997 with primary, but it came back very hard in 2006, very severe pain after a fall which showed with an mri to be extensive bone mets to the hip and pelvis, plus multiple lesions in the rest of her skeleton.
She was placed ( in emergency unit ) on intravenous morphine to bring the pain under control and has been on morphine patches ever since with no pain and no bad side effects.

Surely your mums onc´s can get the pain under control like this, there is really no excuse to leave someone in pain nowadays.

Best wishes