Finished tamoxifen and struggling a bit!

I haven’t posted much on here for a while, but I hope someone might be able to help, or at least tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this! I was diagnosed in August 2006, aged 33, and had lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, followed by 5 years of tamoxifen, which I just finished 2 weeks ago. I know I’m lucky to be here, and I am so grateful for that, but it seems that while I’ve been having all my treatment, everyone else has gone off and got married and/or had babies and these options just don’t seem open to me. I was single when I was diagnosed, and I haven’t had a long-term relationship since, and it just feels that while I got cancer everyone else got to move on with their lives! I guess I’ve been able to put it on the back burner while I’ve been on the tamoxifen, because I would have had to make the decision to stop taking it if I’d wanted to start a family, but now I feel that I’ve just been hiding behind that rather than facing up to the difficulties that a relationship and having a family might present (I’ve got a BRCA2 variant, and my cancer was highly oestrogen positive). I’m just a bit fed up of cheering everyone else from the sidelines, when I’m expected to be grateful just to be here! (not that I’m not grateful) I was so focussed on finishing my tamoxifen that I didn’t expect to be hit with all these feelings that I thought I’d dealt with 5 years ago.
I hope I’ve posted this in the right place, I wasn’t sure if it should be here, but I thought maybe other “younger women” (still like to think I qualify!) might identify with this…

Just bumping this up. I PMed you as was unable to reply to your post and bumping in case someone else wanted to comment and had also been struggling.


you’re not alone… :slight_smile:
I sent you a private message.

Hi Patience,
I’m sorry you haven’t had may replies as yet, but could I suggest you give the helpline here a ring and have a chat with one of the staff about your thoughts and feelings, I’m sure they’ll be able to help you move forward. The helpline is open now, Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2, calls are free, 0808 800 6000.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator

Hi Patience
I am sure you are not alone in these feelings! We all focus on the next thing we need to do to get this disease out of our lives for me it’s finishing Rads and starting Tamoxifen. For some it’s chemo or surgery.

Finishing hormone therapy really does sigal the end of treatment doesn’t it? Other than annual mammograms, you are on your own. That’s a scary place to be.

It can be likened to going through any trauma - say witnessing an accident - at the time you just cope, somehow. Afterwards, the reaction sets in and you take stock of what you’ve been through, and it can be very difficult.

Somone on here posted a link to a piece by a psychologist about moving on and I found it really inspiring so I saved it.

Here it is:

I]( hope that is helpful and not merely annoying!
I am ‘lucky’ in that I am 52, married with grown up children, so I can only imagine how much worse this experience must be for younger women in your situation. 'Though I am sure I’ll be wobbly when my Tamoxifen finishes in 5 years time! :expressionless:

However, I do know life is what you make it; so stand tall, be strong, take courage and confidence from having got through BC and get out there and go for what you want!

Good Luck!

We are here to support you in your struggle. Keepus psoted.

Patience I’m trying to post comment but can’t!!!Regards chinook

Thanks to all of you who have commented or have tried to (Eve76, I haven’t had a PM from you - just wanted to let you know that’s why I haven’t replied!) It has helped to know I’m not the only one…
Patience x