Well this is my first time on here, and just wanted to know if anyone else out there has had the same feelings, bascially i am 36, and was diagnosed in Feb, i have had 5 months of chemo, (unfortunately it did not shrink the tumour) i then had a lumpectomy and Ovarectomy, followed by mastectomy and clearance. I have been told my lymph nodes were clear, but i had 3 sightings in my armpit, still unclear on the armpit bit!!! Anyway i have just finished my radiotherphy today, i am currenty taking Arimadex. I have been very positive throughout the treatment, and carried on working at getting on with my life, however, today, i am feeling really low, lots of my friends have called and wanted to celebrate, but why i am feeling sorry for myself, when i started the treatment, i always said if i get through this course i am going to live life to the full etc…i know it is early days, but i am shock at myself and feel ungrateful. Did anyone else feel like this?
It is a very common feeling. You have been under constant concentrated activity following diagnosis and during treatment, which governed life. Now that has ended and a new stage has started. It is not helped by the physical effects of the treatment which reduce the body’s energy. I am sure there will be many others who will share their ways of overcoming this nasty stage. I did it by having reiki to balance the body energy, planning things for the future, and by allowing myself time to relax and find a new structure. A brief holiday away [if you can manage to get one] could be what you need.
Don’t worry - you are not the only one! Just don’t allow it to become full-blown depression. If you are in any uncertainty, go and talk to your GP.
what your feeling is quite common, I went through the same feelings. I read an article by Dr.Peter Harvey called ‘after the trearment has finished’ (google it) it’s really worth a read and made me feel that I wasn’t being selfish, mad etc.
Hi Karon
I hope you’re feeling better now. I’m at almost exactly the same stage as you - my rads finish next week. I’ve had chemo, mastectomy and clearance. i’m taking tamoxifen. So my treatment journey is almost over. I didn’t think i was being particularly brave, but i did manage to work through chemo and was still doing most of the running of the house -until the surgery when things went awry - I had post op problems including wound infections . It’s meant that i’ve not been well enough to work and have been clocking around at home for weeks, with only myself for company most days. I hit an all-time low last week - feelings of despair, guilt, grief, etc - you name it, I had it. I think, with hindsight, that I’d really been in something of denial previously and it all came to the fore. It got so bad that i had to tell my family - close and extended - and seek external support as well. i also had a good rant on the online chat session last Thursday (thanks to everyone who listened to me then and for all the encouragement). So you’re far from alone in the way you’ve been feeling - and the first step is admitting it.
It’s been really really hard - hating myself for being so pathetic, but not being able to get out of the rut. I still don’t feel 100% but it’s probably a more honest way to feel than i did before. I’m not sure what living life to the full means for me, but it certainly won’t ever be quite the same again…
Angie, thank you for the link to that excellent article. Wish i’d seen it last week!