You guys are so terrific, don’t know how I’d get through this one on my own. Well, I’m doing it with you guys and the help of a very stiff G&T at the mo.
Hi again - sounds like we share a rollercoaster ride on the moment. Week 2 is so much better than week 1. I hardly dare mention it but other people have, so although there has been discussion about the dreaded constipation, has anyone else suffered the diarrhoea? I have to say that I was blessed with some awful stomach cramps associated with that problem for 3-4 days and it was different to the nausea of the first week but not sure which was worst. I didn’t suffer the constipation but probably because I was vomiting and wouldn’t have absorbed the ondansetron.
Think I will ask about the injection for white cell count Redhead Tato - anything to keep the chemo on track.
My hair is going more quickly each day - will soon be joining you Cat - well done and a big hug to you. I found some clippers today but they look pretty scary… You are definitely very brave Cat to manage that ‘on your own’, so to speak.
Best wishes to everyone out there - still no news from darkshadowsfalling. Has anyone been in touch with her? Good to see you again Irina.
Tanya x
Hi Girls…God I found it hard to get out of bed this morning. My 13 yr old got herself up for school and fed the dog but I feel so bad…it’s my job to look after her, and she puts on such a brave face, I know she is so scared. This chemo is making me feel so dirty…I hate it. I know it is helping me to get to wheere I want to be, but I feel like it’s taking me over. I can’t get it all out of my head. And I am so far having so few side effects, I feel a moany old whinging cow, but I just can’t help it. I keep wanting to wash it all away.
And I understand about the hair. I am far from vain. If I’m not in my uniform for work I will be in Hunter Wellies, jeans and sweats trudging in the fields with the dog. I put my ‘slap’ on every day and I am a bit of a hygiene freak but that’s about it. The thought of losing my hair is the real kick in the crotch.
Anyway I think I am having a negative day. Too much time indoors to get maudling. I would usually be out with the dog now but she has been confined to lead walking due to recent stictches, and that is hard for me cos she pulls, and blah, blah, blah.
Sorry to moan - I’ll be back on track by lunch time. Have a good morning every one
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning Ladies,
Just wanted to send you all a hug and a big hello to Irina, we’ve missed you! It’s probably this crappy weather that’s getting everyone down as well as everything else. Hope you’re all feeling a bit brighter soon.
I’m feeling great at the moment, almost too good…and I know that the higher you fly the further there is to fall. My period’s due next week just in time for FEC2 on Tues 28th so I’ll probably be joining the ‘crabby old bag’ club by then as I usually get rotten PMT anyway! There’s also still no sign of hair loss so I guess that’ll come just at the same time too? Guess I’d better line up the red wine and chocolate…!
I’m actually going to log on and do some work from home today…talk to you later…
Bella xx
Morning everyone,
My chemo nurse said periods might be heavier than usual with less clotting during chemo because platelet counts fall.
I have been a bit weepy over the “hair thing” but had to remind myself yesterday that I used to get weepy sometimes even before BC. The worst thing has been my 9 year old having to get used to her Mum having a shaved head -she has been clingy and anxious all weekend and said this morning it had been a shock - I have been walking around the house with my head bare as the wig is so itchy. She feels responsible for keeping me cheerful, I know she is scared, the bald head makes it seem more like “real cancer” somehow. I did tell her about alopecia though which reassured her a bit, as she thought you only lose your hair because of cancer and to hear it doesn’t always mean illness seemed to help her.
Irina xx
It’s so hard to prepare children for the hair loss, isn’t it? My two (13 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter) have seen me in my wig and I’ve told them that when my hair goes it will be because the chemo is working (whether that’s actually 100% true or not I don’t know) as it seemed the easiest way of explaining it to them. I’ve also told them it’s only temporary and my hair will come back, and they seem happy with that.
However, I know full well that when it does go any day now it’s going to be really hard for us all, including my parents who are coming to stay next week for half term as I have 2nd FEC due. For them to see me ill and with hair going or gone is going to be hard. It’s going to be reallyhard or my husband who has always loved my hair. We’ve been married 20 years this Dec and he’s always told me that he’s never been a ‘bum or tit’ man (just as well really!!) but always a ‘hair’ man, so this is not gooing to be easy.
Let’s keep talking ladies, we’re a great group and are already drawing comfort and strength from each other.
Love to all, Bella x
Morning everyone - why is it chemo makes you so shattered then it is absolutely impossible to get to sleep - only then to be regularly disturbed by children, husband snoring etc! Never mind. My hair is coming out in strands today - strange - want to get it over with in a way but it is a strange paradox as actually feeling and looking pretty well despite all this and of course the hair loss will make it obvius that there is some kind of ‘problem’. The kids are funny and my daughter has asked several people if they like my new short hair, told them it will all fall out soon anyway but will grow back - then off to the next game. A marvellous help in dealing with all this stuff. I am lucky that they are so young as they seem to take it all in their stride at the moment.
Have a good day everyone - saw your other post Pheebster about not letting the dog lick you because of the epi. I did know a lady once who was immunocompromised due to chemo and the family had a dog - so she had the dog shaved to reduce infection risk and refused to touch it? If we listen to all the advice we might not get on with life sometimes. Now my scan came back ok I am taking the view I have had cancer and survived - this awful treatment is just ot make sure :o)
Warm hugs to everyone on a very damp day on the South Coast
Tanya x
Brilliant news about your scan Tanya, you must be very relieved.
We’ll all beat this beast together.
Thanks Bella - and this forum is such a massive factor in beating it - together
Tanya
Awww fab news Tanya about the CT. That has really cheered me up. I felt a huge relief too when mine came back clear - like a new page had been started.
Just had a nice bath (without the hairwash) and am going to pack a few things ready for our holiday Friday - might make me feel like I am doing something useful!
Anyone had any food cravings with the steroids?
I can’t get enough instant horlicks…god knows where that came from. Milk is another thing - I think it is calming on the stomach?
Laters ladies
xx
Glad its good news for you Tanya…
My hairs is defo falling out! off into town to get it cut really short… and taking my new friend “wig” with me for a trim otherwise I will look like i’ve just stepped out of “Dallas” set! now I’m showing my age!
Kids are a worrying thing… new quite sure how my two are dealing with it… I have always made light of it… and say “I don’t have Cancer it is all gone!” just having the Chemo for good measure… and something else to write about in my book when I get round to it and life gives me the time to do it…
One sweet thing… my boys both asked me to buy them Breast cancer badges which they want to wear!
Have a good daye everyone
Lorna x
Morning all you fabulous ladies!
Brilliant news about the scan, Tanya, and ick for everyone whose hair is coming out in those little strands, I am feeling for you all.
I am having a total bad brain day now that my hair’s gone, I just can’t think straight! I had so little sleep last night after the big shave off of my hair. My son (three in December, but I’ve probably already told you this, brain is stuffed today) woke up and was so upset to see me crying, so he insisted on sleeping in my bed all night. Great, but he’s a bigger fidget-arse than I am and a bed hog to boot, so I got a good kicking during the night, pushed out of bed several times, and in the end got about two hours sleep. He was unusually up before 6am so I got up and did breakfast until my Ma surfaced at 8am and took him off my hands so I could do some meditation and sleep, and boy, I needed it. Meditation is absolutely the best thing I can do for myself at the moment, it’s rebalancing me. I may lug myself out today and find someone to do reiki or acupuncture.
Have you guys found that your habits have changed since surgery? I used to be really funny about showering, laying all my clothes out first, then ritually undressing so I didn’t have to see myself in the mirror when I’m naked, and I always had to have the towel around me when I stepped out of the shower, again not to confront myself full on in the mirror. Now, my ritual is changing again, so it’s not just the undressing but the removal of the scarf or cap before the shower. Unfortunately I didn’t have a paper bag to put over my head before I got out of the shower this morning so had to look at buzz cut Cat, still a bit of a shock though. The weirdest thing was standing there and getting the shampoo out - had to stop myself and think what the Hell do you need that for? I’m so glad I treated myself to a fabulous body wash that smells of lavender - it was a treat to have it.
Well, I should get kick myself into gear and get on with making lunch for the hungry masses and whatever else I’m meant to be doing.
Morning Ladies,
Good news about your scan Tanya, i’ve got mine next monday, a bit aprehensive but needs to be done. I’m feeling ok still just a bit emotional. Lorna that bit about your boys and the badges - how lovely - arn’t kids just incredible and yours sound lovely! Tato I would go ahead with cold cap for 2nd FEC as my chemo nurse said there would still be some shedding but probably not as much as without. Also I think we may think its worse than it actually is because were waiting for it to happen. Maybe persevere for one more at least if you’re not sure.
Cat - SENDING A BIG HUG :o) xxxx
Love to all
caz x
Hey girls,
it seems everybody is having some bad moments, big big hugs to everybody, Cat, Irina, Lorna, Bella, Pheebster… everybody else. I know how many times you’ve heard this from other people, but Cat you are really brave for shaving hair off on your own, I hope you are feeling better today - give me a call any time you fancy… And thanks for everybody sharing their hairloss rollervoaster impressions - so important for me I’m not alone. I’m also most worried about how my son will react, he’s five and I don’t know how to approach - he’s too young to know about cancers and chemos and too old to be satisfied with some silly funny explanation. Has anybody got kids the same age? what do you tell them? Lorna your boys sound so sweet. And Tanya I’m so happy that your scan is clear - that’s the best attitude - this chemo is just a preventive thing.
Cazzb, I’ll probably go ahead with the cold cap, I’ll see how it’s going and how long I can bear leaving hair everywhere.
Cat, I agree totally about changing habits - mine changed more because of mastectomy, first getting very self-consious, couldnt look at myself in the mirror, now getting a bit better…
Be well girls, be strong - we’re all lucky to be able to talk about everything here and be understood fully. Have a lovely day - from cold and windy oxford,
love,
Tato
I’m into hot chocolate at the moment - weird isn’t it? I think it must be the milk thing…
I’ve suddenly wanted to eat Twiglets - haven’t had them in over 20 years and now they’re all I want. Oh, and ChipStix, I just want junk instead of the previous largely raw food diet. Weird.
Deffo try and keep on with the cold cap Tato…think positive. You may be lucky and just get thinning. There are two ladies at my hospital using it and one of them still has hair half way down her back (lucky cow)!!! I don’t mind my mx. OK, let’s be honest I would rather I still had two instead of one, but I am coping with that…it’s this stage which is more mind blowing for me. Has anyone here had the skin left to allow for a future recon? I have, and the most annoying thing is the roll of skin under my arm where your bra goes round) it’s like an extra roll of fat!!!
Isn’t it humbling the way our kids are coping too…I remember having to go through it all with my mum. I was older though (17) when she had her mx at age 47. Think that’s why I am finding this all a bit surreal to be honest…like I’ve been here before. My mum didn’t have the chemo though…28 years ago they just did a mx and sent her on her way. It will give you all a boost to know she is still here and has been clear from bc ever since.
Anyway - been asleep all morning - so much for my packing - so off to get some work done
Hope you are feeling better Cat x
Hi Everyone.
It is really great to read of your experiences and I have got rather emotionally reading them and almost shed tears. That is good for me as I have not been able to cry anywhere along this journey, I spent my life being strong through others illnesses that now its my own it seems the only way I can cope. I have been down today and have had a rant on the thread I started. I want to say how I feel for you all going through this with young children and keeping life going the best you can for them. Hugs to you all. You are doing marvellously. My 2 sons are enough in their 20’s to cope with so it must be more than twice as hard when they are younger. Not sure how mine are going to react when my hair falls out. My older son’s one comment when I warned I could have breast cancer back in June was - ‘You’re not going to loose your hair are you!’ and he’s nearly 26!’ We wait and seen his reaction over the next few weeks.
Pheebster - I have a mastectomy and believe it has been left for reconstruction at a later date if I wish, but I do find the bit under the arm a pain at times. Not sure if mine is also a bit of fluid as I still have to go and get the wound drained. Must admit I am surprised at how much is left and have made the comment they I want the other side done to match. I think I would then have 2 reasonable size boobs and not one very large one with a lopsided one trying to match it! I wonder if the proper prosthesis will be any better than the softee! Try to keep laughing rather than being defeated.
Best Wishes
Hannah
Hi there all you lovely ladies!!!
Tanya good news on your ct
Irina good to see you back…
I have been whacked out week 2…hair started falling out day 15 and looked like a coconut so OH best friend invited us over and cooked us Sunday Lunch and we did the big shave. OH did it best friend supervised!!! Went smoothly especially with a very LARGE glass of red wine!! I thought I would feel really upset but was glad to get it over and done with…having a couple chaps around made it feel all matter of fact, which personally I think helped me! It is very odd looking in the mirror and seeing baldy Sally. I feel more comfortable in scarves than the wig at the moment, but really getting stared at when I go out - what is wrong with people? I feel like exercising the fingers (up yooooooooooooours!!!)
Cat - I too have been doing a lot of meditation and creative visulisation to self heal - hope you managed to get some Reiki… the OH has been doing some healing on me but I don’t want anyone else around my energy at the moment as I feel its too invasive. Must be feeling a bit sensative!!! ( I wonder why? KIMO maybe dunno)
Bloomin periods started today - was hoping to see the last of them for a while, at least!!! well I suppose its better this week than next!
Blood test Wednesday - FEC 2 on Friday - hoping all is as healthy as it can be in there.
Big ((((((HUGS))))))) to you all going through it at the moment…It’s hard isn’t it?
Love to you all
Sally
Hi guys
Hannah, I’m so glad that we all have these threads running, they are my lifeline at the moment. Without you all I would feel quite isolated. Like you I had a mastectomy and will consider recon after all the treatments are finished. When I was at the Younger Women’s Forum I went to a workshop about recon and the consultant said that they always make the boobs match as best they can. I got my silicone boobie last week and it’s heaps better than the comfie jobbie, but I ditched that weeks ago in favour of a slightly heavier sports boob that I got from NicolaJane.
Sally, good to see you and sorry you were so whacked out week 2. Congrats on shaving it off, we’ll be starting the baldie club soon! I found a reiki healer where I live but when I rang the number it was someone’s private home so I guess the person gave up and moved away. Not to worry, decided to go back to acupuncture instead which I’ve used very successfully in the past. I had a good chat with the acupuncturist today and discussed things at length and am going along to see her on Wednesday after I get my bloods done at the local surgery. I hope the acupuncture will help with chemo 2 which is on Thursday arvo for me.