First FEC 2nd October

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Hi Tanya

Thanks… I know you are right. and like you think I should have just gone for it at the start… my arm is so sore, even just pulling up my sleeve hurts! I felt like a wimp today, pain threshold at zero! and grumpy as F***!

My eye brows are thinner and have invested in a eyebrow pencil now… eyelashes too are half what they used to be. I’ll be hiding behind my new trendy sunglasses I intend buying as one of my…
“TO ME-FROM ME”
xmas pressies
:o) got to be done… especially as no OH to buy me anything… The ex always bought me Tiffany… so may rummage through my dresser drawers and find an old bracelet and polish it up… and put in the lovely aqua box with ribbon… red ribbon at crimbo! and wrap it up as another Me to Me… think I’m losing it now… drugs working! LOL

No freak Tanya…raw beauty… stripped back to nature… a new born, in need of some TLC… perhaps we should all scream more for some attention instead of putting on that brave face…lets just hope we don’t need diapers!

L x

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Oh Lorna I think you just spoke for the majority of us there…stripped back to nature but not by choice. That’s what I hate so much - that we don’t have a freakin’ choice. I also bought a new eyebrow pencil today…ironic thing being it has an eyebrow brush on the end…even the cosmetics companies seem to be having a laugh at my expense - the b*st**ds!!

Re: Picc lines…fabulous. I was told my veins were too rubbish to get one in - though listening to some of you, I think that may be an exaggeration? Hopefully the TAX will be kinder to our arms for those of us moving over. At least that’s what I was told.

Tanya…you are making me feel a bit better about all this. Out of interest, what drugs are you on?

Cat. Just the smell of those wheat bags makes me want to gag - i think that smell will stay with me forever.

Speaking of which - I still can’t cope with any perfume or house smellies other than nice fresh cleaning products. Anyone else suffering?

Plumber is here - OH out with the Pheebster (they’ve been gone hours) so I’m gonna sit down with a book for half hour…what’s the betting I fall asleep :slight_smile:

Onwards and upwards comrades!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Spoke too soon - the ramblers are back…bang goes my lazy half hour!

Bloody typical!

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Hi girls,
Haven’t got much to say as feeling pretty s**t today, arm hurting, worried about them getting vein for blood test tomorrow and vein for chemo on Monday, guess I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself been a bit teary today and had to say no to a girlie night as didn’t want to be a party pooper and I LOVE girlie nights, curry, booze and gossip!

hugs to all ((((((((( :o))))))))))) who are feeling cr*p.

Moan over dinner to cook… speak to you later.
Caz xx

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Evening all, as Soo (Hi Soo) would say.

Ostrich and Avonlea, sorry you are feeling so crap, as nurse told Bella the middle is a hard time. As we get to four and even five, and the end is in sight it will be easier to stay cheery.

Pheebster, why do you say ‘god help us’ about the Tramadol? Scaring me there, Missus! I had some in hosp after my MX, but found they didn’t really take the pain away, just took me away to some other level where I was aware of time passing but completely passive. AND the eyebrow pencil they gave us on the Look Good Feel Better afternoon had the little brush on the end LOL!!

Agree with you all about the wheatbags, smell not good for touchy kimo tummies. I have a lavender one I may take in next time, never thought of it.

Tanya, like you I feel TAX1 has not been too taxing so far. The intravenous Piriton makes you a bit sleepy but that’s all. TAX 2 is on New Year’s Eve, but if I feel no worse than this I hopefully won’t be too much of a party pooper. When is your first TAX, Cat?

Well done for getting your lines, Irina and Tanya. Must be a scary process, but everyone says it’s the best thing they’ve done.

Think I’ll go for a Me to Me Christmas treat of a manicure. I last painted my fingernails in 2001 for my sister’s wedding. Generally I can’t be doing with it, but I painted them last night with dark red borrowed from my 14-year-old daughter - anything to stop them falling out. But it chips and soon looks crap with doing stuff about the house, so I thought a professional do might last longer.

Cazz, I hope you soon feel less shitty. After Monday you’ll be 2/3 through. Cling to that!

Best wishes to all still set for party No 4

Liz

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Hi Pheebster - you asked about drugs. Funny how different everywhere is. I just had 8mg Dexamethasone 24 and 12 hours prior to Tax, then another 8mg Dexamethasone with Tax and two metaclopramide tablets. No iv piriton, no ondansetron or domperidone this time and feeling fine. Continuing the reducing dose steroids as per last 3 chemo’s but nowt else - no tramadol or anything else for pain at all at this time and no mention of it either.

I too got the funky eyebrow pencil weith brush =- as you say - havin a larf at our expense. I like the metaphor of stripped back to nature, though not too much more stripping back required!.

Sorry to all those feeling rubbish and haviong a hard time. Hugs going out to you.

I am knackered so off to bed now, speak soon

Tanya x

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Morning all

Just a quickie, apologies for not replying to you all. In a flap this morning trying to get everything and everyone organised for their days. I have a 10am kimo party so leaving super-early (NGH weren’t too helpful about fixing a time that worked around my childcare commitments). Irina, you have FEC4 today, don’t you? Hope it goes easy peasy now you have the Hickman. Best of luck.

Love to you all,

Cat xx

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Morning ladies…

Good luck for today Cat…go kick ass girlfriend!!! Irina too…how’s things?

Liz…Forgive me! I didn’t mean to imply the tramadol as being anything scary…just the fact that this time we may have to consider pain management along with the steroids and the heartburn meds etc., we are already having to sling down our neck! Apologies if I gave you a scare…it was meant with an (ironic) smile on my face!!

Sorry you are feeling low Cazz…I know where you are coming from. I’m sure once we get #4 under our belt we will be on the downhill slope and what with crimbo and all the rest of the stuff that comes with it, before we know it #5 will be knocking on the door.

I have the father-in-law coming over today…god love him. Nice man but not when I’m in kimo mode!..all that incesstant mundane chit chat All I really want to do is crawl back in bed, but I’ve slung a bolognaise together and put it in the slow cooker and I’m going to wash my hair…always a scary prospect nowadays, as I’m sure Cazz will agree! I’m supposed to be going out for a ruby tonight with work colleagues, but unless I can get on top of this dam cough and runny nose, I think I may back out and stay home…though I love the restaurant and it’s a freebie too (lol)!!

Hoping everyone has a positive day…much love
xx

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Morning Ladies,

Feeling dreadful this time so not up to sitting at the computer much, my lower legs hurt really bad, they didn’t do this until about a week after 2nd FEC and I thought that was delayed G-CSF reaction but they have been hurting since the FEC and before I had the G-CSF yesterday.

Sorry for all those feeling dreadful too and for those about to party. Especial wishes to those about to switch to TAX - is it worse than FEC?

Is anyone feeling okay?

My hair is coming out again and its only 2 days past 3rd FEC. I lost about 70% of my head hair after FEC 1 so still have a spiky top but thats coming out now. I too have invested in an eyebrow pencil and - you guessed it - a brush! The insult! The only brush I use now is a baby hair brush to “itch” my scalp with though I do still wash what hair I have with baby shampoo (well it gives me something to do in the bath as I can’t lie down and soak! LOL!)

I wonder whether with my eyes shut my OH would be able to tell which way up I am as I am getting so back to nature! It would only be the back wound and odd boobs to give him a clue which way was up!

Off to carry on reading my “EASYWAY” to give up smoking book on the sofa and await the arrival of my mum with her hyperactive dog (again) but this time I am dog sitting whilst she picks up her new car! Jeesh the only days I am feeling okay about lounging around in my PJs and I have visitors and dog sitting to contend with! Am going to try to wrap xmas pressies this arvo as my and OH are trekking 300 miles for his works’ do on Saturday night (so not looking forward to playing the bosses wife whilst I glug ginger beer and smile ickly!) so all 3 kids will be at home overnight without us and if I don’t wrap them up I’m sure they’ll go digging and ruin xmas!

xxxx

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Ostrich…#3 is a real hard one, isn’t it.

It took me over a week before I felt human again…

Have you mentioned the pain in your lower legs to anyone? It may be an idea - don’t suffer any more than you have to. My doctor will always speak to patients on the phone after his surgery finishes…think about it?

Shame you’re not nearby - we could take the dogs out…or I could take them out and you could stay home on the sofa!!!

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Hi all,

Goodness, we’re all feeling it again, aren’t we! Big hugs to all those feeling cr*pper (if that’s a word?) than me. I have to say I don’t feel too bad - SEs seems slightly less than last time so hopefully will stay that way. I’m tired, so will tuck up in bed after lunch before the school run, and feel a bit sicky but drugs and seabands are doing their stuff.

I definitely feel better mentally having got no.4 out of the way and hope you all will too. Crimbo is a good distraction, but no.5 on 30th I think will be hard, with no.6 hopefully being a piece of cake knowing it’s the last one. Mine is due 20th Jan, and it’s my birthday on 2nd Feb so any ideas for a party? I’m thinking of having one for all my good friends locally who’ve supported me and asking for donations to Breakthrough and the Haven, what do you think?

Keep warm and well, Bella xx

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Morning girlies

Just a quickie for now as am on way out for bloods tests. Feeling better mentally today, gave myself virtual kick up bum yesterday.

Good luck to all ahaving kimo today and hugs to all who are feeling pants.
good luck with dogs Ostrich and good luck with father in law Pheebs.

Hi Bella glad your ok
Bye for now
Caz x

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Bella…hope you manage to get some rest today…it’s a dark bleak feeling those few days following kimo isn’t it. Something you can’t describe to anyone who hasn’t gone through it themselves. I think your birthday will be fabulous regardless…just being on the other side of kimo will be the biggest prize ever. To give something back to the cause is a lovely idea. How about an All Pink Party…food, clothes(men included), , balloons etc drinks?

Cazz…good luck with the bloods.

I’m gonna log off now…need to change all the sheeets and get them in the wash…boring!

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Hello my lovelies

Well, I’m not long back from NGH and have rocked kimo 4, the first of the dreaded Tax. Blimey, NGH is rubbish on organisation, waited an hour and a half before they saw me to do the drugs. Much more pleasant than FEC, it was just saline, Tax, saline, and sod off. I feel tired and desperately want to go to bed, but James has to work so I’m letting Nathaniel have a DVD of Disney Christmas stuff at the mo.

Bella, your number 6 is on my Birthday, and I have my number 6 on the 23rd which is James’ Birthday. Are you going to have a kick-ass party to celebrate your Birthday and the end of chemo?

Ostrich, sorry you’re still having a tough time, my sweet. Defo speak to someone about the aches and pains. I found them par for the course with the wbc boosters but if you have any worries or concerns at all you must voice them, don’t suffer in silence.

Caz, glad you’re feeling a bit more chipper today, but I hope the virtual kick wasn’t painful - you have enough to be dealing with without booting yourself.

Blimey, I am addled, it’s taken forever to type this going back to correct all the typos, juxtaposed letters and jumbled or missed letters. I think my brain has finally departed me for a more pleasant place.

Cat xx

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Merhaba Bayanlar!
Sorry not been on for a few days but managed to pick up some work plus every other available moment I,ve been making jams, marmalades and soups for my stockpile. My flyers go out tomorrow so fingers crossed I,ll get some orders and then the financial pressure may lift a little.

Cat glad today wasn,t too much of a trial.

Pheebster I know what you mean about not being able to cope with chit chat. I am terrible the day I have to go off to Antalya.

Ostrich I hope the pain in your legs has esaed some.

Cazz hope you,re feeling better.

To everyone else - much love xx

Soo x

Liz did you enjoy your manicure?

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Hi Ladies,

Got through dog sitting (separation anxiety or what, he howls the whole time she’s not here!) and had a nap this arvo so feeling a bit better, though legs still pants. Dont want to take anything cos have 8 tablets a time rattling round in me and urge at the thought of more drugs!

Bella, I think Pheebster’s idea for a party is great! I have FEC4 on the 30th, FEC 5 on the 20th January and FEC 6th on the 10th Feb, its my 40th birthday on the 11th March and instead of it being something to be depressed about I am planning a massive party to celebrate and look forward and also wanted to do something to thank all my friends and family who have done wonderful things for me. A pink party sounds great!!!

A walk with dogs sounds nice Pheebster (don’t think my legs would make it though but mentally a nice idea, kicking through the leaves!) Hope it went okay with your father in law and that maybe you manage to get out if you feel up to it tonight.

Soo, I’ll find out exactly where my Dad is, you might know him (I know, Turkey’s a big place) or he and his wife could be potential customers for your goodies!

Cat, glad to hear TAX isn’t too bad so far, hope you get some kip.

Cazz, hope bloods went okay and you are feeling better.

Tanya hope you are feeling okay.

Lizbou, hope the finger nails aren’t chipped yet.

sorry for anyone I have forgotten, love to all, speak soon, xx

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Just a quickie…glad Tax went well Cat - thanks for the e-mail.

F-i-L still here…still friggin talking…didn’t want the dinner I prepared at 8.30 this morning and asked for chips. Friggin chips - I ask you! Anyway I’ve just had the last laugh cos OH just burned the bloody things!!! lmao

And I’m off for a ruby in the best curry house in Essex!

See ya!

lol

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I want a ruby!!! Enjoy, Pheebs!

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Oooh I could murder a ruby. Enjoy Pheebs

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Hi guys

Hope you’re all doing well. Pheebs, how was your Ruby, delish, I hope.

Don’t know how the other new Tax ladies are doing, but I feel incredibly weepy today, tears dripping down for absolutely no good reason at all. I feel a bit tired but not sure when the wave of absolute exhaustion is likely to hit me - any suggestions from you guys a couple of days further along than me?