First Holiday ........

First Holiday …

First Holiday … Hi Girls

Well Im back after my first holliday away in 2 years. Im 2 months after chemo and Im on Arimadex and Zoladex, (booked in to have ovaries out end of July) What a strange time. Ive felt a jumble of emotions through the week, and on one of the days we were at a water parc amongst hundreds of people and I was blubbing for no reason for about 10 mins, where did that come from? The feelings just wash over you. I didnt like being with so many people, and I felt that everyone was looking at me and just knew what had happened.

I lay on a very quite beach one day and thought that I would go through the traumas of the last 12 months from start to finish…BAD IDEA!!!
I ended up crying again, it was just too much. My husband kept asking me if I was ok and I would say yes, but then he would say , ‘no your not’ and it would make me worse.

Dont think that I didnt have a relaxing time, but I wasnt prepared for the whole range of fears and emotions that I would feel. I kept thinking, say I was in the airport ’ surely I cant be the only person in the whole place with breast cancer’? (I would think this in a whole lot of places)

This was also the first time that I had ‘uncovered’ and it made me think that I would like reconstruction, I also HAVE to loose this weight as that part of the illness dragged me down, as I felt different from everyone else.

Well Im back now and looking forward to the 2 day course in Bolton, I sure need the help!!!

PS) I am going to go swimming this week as swimming everyday really did help with the dreadful joint pain!

Debbie xx

Hiya hi
your not far from me as i am in Liverpool.

i am sure i will feel exactely like you, i have nly finished chemo lat week and am terrified.

Went to llandudno yesterday loads of people bikini tops lots of older women low tops looking well not a care in the world and i cried.

i think you have done very very well to go on holiday hun and you should be so proud of yourself.

i feel so fat just now and i know it will make me feel ugly and groteque clothes are bad enough never mind a costume.

Your doing well but i expect our mixed emotions will last forever up and down up and down.

Love Ruth xx

Holidays Hi Debbie

Well done for going on your holiday and out of your comfort zone for a week that alone is a big pat on the back for you .!!
Your feelings are just like mine were when we went to Cuba in May. We booked the hoilday just before I found out I had B C Had to go because it was my sons wedding but went with all the same feelings you had and maybe more because it was a 10 hour flight and such a poor country but I DID IT !
There is one thing I am not going to do is let this Breast Cancer win. I find I do have to push myself more than I did before
So don’t forget plenty of pats on the back for you and will see you in Bolton!

Well Done
Janet xx

Thanks… Hi Ruth and Janet

Thanks for your kind words, it really does help. Ive made a start with the weight loss, a friend has given me a weight watchers book so i am going to make a start tomorrow.

Ruth you will be fine after chemo stops don’t worry. It takes your body a while to get the drugs out of your system, has your hair started to grow back yet? Just before my hols I decided to go to the hairdressers and Im glad I did as she told me that once you get all the fluffy bits cut off it really starts to grow back thick and it has, at least Ive got some shape to it now, did you see Kylie in the papers today, how fantastic did she look?

Keep smiling!

Debbie xx