five years clear, that’s all I wanted was my five years clear
the beast that had brought it’s venom to me five years ago was about to get a stake in its heart.
five years clear
there were so many fighters who had been on the same fight, at the same time, but the beast had returned with venom so strong that it perforated their souls and they were taken.
why us?
those that had already been where I was that day, waiting for their five years clear, and had also spurned the beast; they were waiting at the finish line for me to join their group.
wake up
five years clear
shower
five years clear
brush teeth, bag, keys? keys? five years clear
out the door
lock door
five years clear.
unlock door re enter, grab Oyster card and leave again
five years clear
I could see the finish line,
I could smell it
I would be forgiven,
forgiven for all that cigarette smoke I breathed in on purpose, just once or twice
five years clear
for all the wine I drank
five years clear
for all the cigarettes I nearly smoked, well only one or two puffs
five years clear.
for all the wine
five years clear
for all the cigarette that I’d, yes, smoked I would be forgiven
and for ALL the wine
five years clear
onto the bus, headphones on, Bruce
“Baby we were born to rrruuuunnn”
five years clear
“oohhhh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road, Oh Thunder Road”
five years clear
the bus stops. I get off. Here we go.
walk straight
don’t cry
where do I go
don’t cry
listen to the directions
five years clear, don’t cry
five years clear
receptionist ignores me. stay calm. don’t cry
sit. wait. wait. read. phone. wait. sit. wait.
to reception. “are they running late”.
receptionist “who are you?”
“S____ ___
“you’re not booked in”
“you booked me in”
five years clear. stay calm. don’t cry
“oh yes. here you are. I’ll find out”
“thanks”
sit.wait.phone. sit,wait,sit.
receptionist shouts “you’ve got two people in front of you”
“thanks”
five years clear
my name is called
later, walking back down the corridor.
don’t cry. I text me brothers and sisters.
“I’m going to the pub to have a pint and and fag. I’m celebrating
I’VE GOT MY FIVE YEARS CLEAR!!”
( I didn’t have the cigarette)