five years clear

five years clear, that’s all I wanted was my five years clear

the beast that had brought it’s venom to me five years ago was about to get a stake in its heart.

five years clear

there were so many fighters who had been on the same fight, at the same time, but the beast had returned with venom so strong that it perforated their souls and they were taken.

why us?

those that had already been where I was that day, waiting for their five years clear, and had also spurned the beast; they were waiting at the finish line for me to join their group.

wake up

five years clear


five years clear

brush teeth, bag, keys? keys? five years clear

out the door

lock door

five years clear.

unlock door re enter, grab Oyster card and leave again

five years clear

I could see the finish line,

I could smell it

I would be forgiven,

forgiven for all that cigarette smoke I breathed in on purpose, just once or twice

five years clear

for all the wine I drank

five years clear

for all the cigarettes I nearly smoked, well only one or two puffs

five years clear.  

for all the wine

five years clear

for all the cigarette that I’d, yes, smoked I would be forgiven

and for ALL the wine

five years clear

onto the bus, headphones on, Bruce

“Baby we were born to rrruuuunnn”

five years clear

“oohhhh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road, Oh Thunder Road”

five years clear

the bus stops. I get off. Here we go.

walk straight

don’t cry

where do I go

don’t cry

listen to the directions

five years clear, don’t cry

five years clear

receptionist ignores me. stay calm. don’t cry

sit. wait. wait. read. phone. wait. sit. wait.

to reception. “are they running late”.

receptionist “who are you?”

“S____ ___

“you’re not booked in”

“you booked me in”

five years clear. stay calm. don’t cry

“oh yes. here you are. I’ll find out”

“thanks” sit,wait,sit.

receptionist shouts “you’ve got two people in front of you”


five years clear

my name is called

later, walking back down the corridor.

don’t cry. I text me brothers and sisters.

“I’m going to the pub to have a pint and and fag. I’m celebrating


( I didn’t have the cigarette)

congratulations Ses! thank you for posting this, I was looking for some inspiration today. i am one year clear. Stay dancing with NED!!
(I didn’t have the cigarette either:))
x x x x