Now don’t get me wrong but I love getting flowers for what ever the reason. For birthday, saying thank you or just to brighten up the home. They do give the good feel factor. Until today, when I received a dozen dark red roses!
Since I’ve been dx with bc (a few weeks ago) I have received some lovely flowers and messages and each time I felt as if I’ve been hit by a bus. I find myself in floods of tears. I think it brings home that this is real and this is really happening. It makes me feel sad and realize what I’m actually dealing with. Generally I go from day to day, dealing with what needs to be done that day and trying to be positive.
Has anyone else felt like this? Hope I’m not sounding ungreatfull.
Hi Amanda,
Sorry to hear of your dx, I had mine in May and am having my chemo x5 of 6 tomorrow which is not so bad.
Since my dx I too have had so many beautiful bouquets, gifts etc and I have cried every time. At one time I ran out of vases and couldn’t see out of my big bay window, the house even smelt like a florest. I think this is when you feel very vulnerable, you are going through possibly the scariest time of your life and you are def allowed tears. It does bring it home to you and you find out who are good friends. I have been lucky with friends and family, they have been great but when you need someone to really understand this is the place to come. We all know how you feel we have been there and didn’t want to be here any more than you do. You will get a lot of support here and I think every topic must have been covered somewhere so there is plenty of advice.
Please let us know how you are getting on, as soon as you know what you are dealing with, surgery, treatment etc you will feel a little better and your BCN will be able to help explain more to you.
Amanda, your thoughts are no different to anyone else,
Take care,
Love Jane xx
Hi Amanda
You are definitely not unusual, IMO. I had a feeling this would happen, so when I told people about my diagnosis, I told most of them then that if they felt they needed to do something like flowers and chocolates, I would rather they didn’t as firstly, my cats always tip over vases of flowers as they are curious beasts, secondly, I don’t have that many vases, and thirdly, I didn’t want all those reminders about the house. I got lots of cards - they were up for a short while, and then I got angry at them being a constant reminder so took them down in a fit of pique one day. I still have them, but not on display.
Instead, I set up a JustGiving site for BCC and raised over £300 from people who had done collections for me, or felt moved by my story. Much better than flowers and pointless gifts.
I got one bunch of flowers, one box of chocs, and a ‘hospital survival kit’ that my team at work made up for me, and was a nice practical thing to get.
So sorry you are here, but glad you have found this place to ask these weird and wonderful questions.
xxxx
omg - thought I was the only loony on here!! (only joking) but I too hated the flowers bit - was diagnosed just over a year ago - jan 7th - and the flowers made me feel so sick when I got them - maybe its the nursey in me?? I had to give them away - my neighbours must have spent about £80 maybe more on the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen but I had to smuggle them into my car and take them to my mums!! I just couldn’t cope with them…fair enough after my wle and node clearence I felt like I’d been thru the mill so it wouldn’t have been so bad then but I didn’t get them then!!
I too wasn’t being ungrateful it just terrified me for some reason - as if they thought I was on my last legs…now if they’d have sent them when I was having fun with chemo I’d have loved them…I had a lovely box of goodies sent from a friend I made on here around easter time and chemo time full of little chickens, cuddly cat, smelly bath things, candles, chocs - alsorts, just so thoughtful…you’ll be fine once things get moving - ohhhh just checked the date and hopefully things have been moving now…love n hugs, mary x
Hi you are not alone in feeling like this! I was dx beginning of Dec and like you was inundated with beautiful flowers for days on end. Each time the delivery van pulled up outside it was like being diagnosed all over again.
I got more flowers after dianosis that after giving birth! I was not hugely greatful as everytime i looked at them i remember why they had been sent…! I appreciated them but resented them too.
Mum always says to be kind to people when they deal with my cancer as they are trying their best with a difficult situation and i guess that holds true