For Jonathan
For Jonathan Hiya
I noticed that you posted on another tread saying that your mum isnt doing too well. I have been thinking of you and hoping that it was going well, is she still on the chemo? I am sorry that she has gone down hill a bit, I hope that you are bearing up as well as you can under the circumstances.
Love Joanne x x
For joanne Hi Joanne,
How are you and your family?
Unfotunately my mum has taken a turn for the worst… i have written a more detailed synopsis in secondary and family and friends forums (my dear mum has…)
Thanks for thinking of me and my family, i too think of the people that i speak to on this website, and although times are very hard, it is of some comfort to know that we are not alone in battling against this horrible disease…
Love jon xx
Sorry Hiya
I have read your post on the family and friends, I am so so sorry to hear about your mum. I was in a different situation to you, my mum was in the hospital for 6 days, and 2 on a ventilator, but before that had been relatively healthy, so I never had to go through what you are going through. If you dont think the Macmillan nurses are doing enough can you contact mums doctor or someone else that she has seen at all?
I know that you are worried that you may not be there when your mum leaves you, but please try not to think of this. There are many people who I speak to on a number of different forums who were with their mums and then popped out for a coffee or a nap and their mums slipped away, they believe that their mums maybe did this on purpose as they wanted to protect them. You obviously do as much as you can for your mum and love her so much, I would want to be there day and night too, but you can only do your best.
As some of the ladies on the secondary forum have said, it is my understanding that you will be able to tell when your mum is leaving you - if you can get hold of someone at macmillan it may help to ask what you can expect. Have you thought of contacting macmillan directly, there is a helpline number on their website or you can email them if you dont feel up to speaking. The website is www.macmillan.org.uk
As we have discussed before, I couldnt imagine loosing my mum either, and as you said eventually had to prepare myself for the fact that I was going to loose her. I just could not comprehend how I was going to be able to go on - I love her so much she was my life and I would have done anything to take her place. But I am coping and I promise that you will be able to cope with whatever comes your way. There will be times when you feel that you are not able to, but this always seems to pass. I cant believe that I have been without my mum for 4 months, it doesnt seem possible, but I have learnt that time goes on whether you want it to or not, and then suddenly you are coping better than you ever believed you could. I know that it is of little comfort at the moment but I am always here should you need me.
It makes it all the worse to see our mums suffering doesnt it. Just after I lost my mum it was all that I could think about - but now happier memories are coming to me. Today I watched my wedding video for the first time in a few years. I got married in Dec 2003 and mum got ill in march 2004, so it has been too painful to look at for so long as mum was so ill. I was mesmorised by my mum and although it was very upsetting, I am much stronger than I was a month ago as I wouldnt even have considered watching it. I know that this is rather insignificant overall but I am just trying to show you how you will be stronger than you can ever imagine.
I know that the last thing you proably feel like doing is coming on here and letting us know how you are doing, but if you do find the time please try and keep in touch. I am thinking of you and your lovely mum.
Love Joanne x x