Hi ladies
I’m coming tiwards the end of my rads treatments for triple neg recurrence in the skin + chest wall, which happened straight after finishing chemo. My onc gave me a dire prognosis despite me previously being reassured that it was ‘only’ local recurrence. It’s only a matter of time before there is mote widespread activity apparently…
Anyway, skin mets are responding well to rads but I’ve been having some dizziness on + off. Pretty bad yesterday- almost like that low blood pressure feeling when u stand up 2 quickly. But no trigger in my case + lasts for longer than a few seconds. I’m naturally worried 
I last had a head scan mid august which was fine + I’ve since had chest + abdo scans in oct which again were clear. I think I’ll ask my onc if he will arrange a full body one 4me given these symptoms. It could be rads, stress, tiredness + given that the dizziness is very much ‘on+ off’, it probably is but I found another lump last night so can’t help but fear the worst now.
The new lump is small + not obvious at all. In fact I keep rechecking it is in fact a lump as it’s in an awkward position + not prominent. It’s on my affected side just above/ almost behind top of collarbone. Defo feels different to the other side + I know it’s a high risk area so I’m feeling negative + a bit hopeless.
Just can’t believe that this time last year life was so good. My little boy (18m) is breaking my heart he loves me so much + i can’t cope with the guilt of leaving him on top of all the other emotions of fear, devastation etc. I’m acting normal in front of everyone + just getting on with things but today it’s all got a bit too much. I’m getting really scared now.
Just needed to vent thanks
tina x
Tins I wish I could say something that practically helps, but it’s just so cr@p isn’t it? Very unfair to be going through this, you vent away, it’s what this site is for. Try not to assume thr worst if u possibly can. The guilt with the little ones is sickening and I feel for you so much. Big hugs, thinking of you
vickie
x
Tina hang in there. Have you arrange to get the new lump checked. One of the girls on another thread once told me she never checks herself from Friday night till Sunday night because if she finds something she has all weekend to worry.
I know what you mean about your little one . Mine daughter is 11 and I look at her sometimes and think god what if I am not around to see her grow up.But I try to think positive all the time as I feel it helps with my state of mind. Saying that last week was a bad week felt sorry for myself alot ( just had had more chemo and was ill).
I think you right to ask for a full body scan, if only to reassure you.
Vent all you want on here, you have so many women her to support you and understand what your going through.
I live in the North east and we have a group of us that have met on a thread here and now meet up for lunch about once every 6 weeks. I find this so so helpful. maybe you could try and do this for your area wher you live it could help you.
All the best sending my love.
Margaret xxx
Hi Tina
Just wanted to post my support. I am with you on the dizziness thing, but I have had it all through chemo. The room spins when I turn over in bed. The onc said it was chemo. But my gp gave me betahistine tablets and they have helped but it has not completely gone. I know though that it is def worse when I am tired. My mam had a really acute attack of this two weeks ago and it was really bad for a couple of days then cleared up with the same tablets I am on. Hope your goes away.
As for the lump am really sorry you have this extra worry. I hope you get someone to check it soon. Was playing ring a ring of roses with my three year old little boy yesterday, he didn’t have a clue why I was crying. But I am sure all the mams on here understand.
Debx
HI Tina
I’m so sorry to hear that you have this new worry - I really sympathise - I get very scared about finding things/lumps and to the extent I’m scared to feel the area - then I do and I find things and I’m not sure if they were there before or whether they are normal. Then I end up prodding and poking and just feeling awful.
Also, I too have dizziness and have had it on and off and I’m 2 1/2 years out of treatment now. I believe it’s something to do with both my ears and my neck. It was really bad a few weeks ago and I made myself go for a walk and it eased up a lot.
You vent as much as you need to.
Hugs
Ruby xxx
Hi Tina
Its sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time at the moment. As well as the support you are receiving from the others users please do give the BCC helpline a call and talk with one of the trained members of staff. The staff on the helpline are there to listen and offer emotional support as well information and it may help to share your feelings and concerns with someone. The number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open until 2pm today and from 9 to 5pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this helps.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Tina
Will send you a PM.
xx
Hi Tina,
This is an absolutely sh**ty disease - 100% worry all the time. I definitely would ask for more scans, so you know what you’re dealing with - hopefully nothing. The lump could well be a reaction to rads, as could the dizziness. I have various lumpy areas since my rads in Sept.and towards the end of them did feel dizzy on occasions. I remember walking towards the station on my way home and almost falling over after a dizzy spell. Our bodies are under stress with it all, not to mention our minds. Thinking of you,
Sarahxx
Hi Tina
Apologies for being so nosey… can you tell me how you knew you got skin mets after all your treatment…
I finished treatment in aug and have to go back tom as my boob and nipple isnt looking so great…
Thanks
Van
Hi ladies
a belated thank you for your support 
I’m still none the wiser as my onc wouldn’t scan me as he wasn’t overly concerned. He agreed there is a fullness by collarbone on mx side but said it should me monitored as it could be a reactive node+ not necessarily cancer related. He also wasn’t concerned by my dizziness and said it was to be expected given the high dose rads, long daily drive for treatment, stress etc. He said I had no other worrying symptoms so he believes the dizziness will settle. Gota keep an eye on it though.
I’ve finished rads now and my onc doesn’t plan on seeing me until January. However I will be seeing my other onc (the very negative one who gaveme the dire prognosis), next month.
Van- the skin mets presented as a rash by my mx scar. Initially just redness followed by bumpy spots which spread very rapidly. Have you been checked out yet? Do let us know how u get on.
Will keep you posted ladies thanks again
tina x x
Tina,
Please keep on eye on it and as you said it’s a high risk area. If things do change (God forbids), will you be able to contact your onc? When I discovered by lump by my collar bone, I had no dizziness. Waited for a month (persuaded by onc) and ended up being referred for scans as an urgent case and discovered more than “just” a lymph node. If you are not happy and still worry about it. DO go back and ask for a scan!
After chemo and rads, I still have a lump by collar bone, but very very tiny now. So, it can still be brought under control even if it is.
Sending positive thoughts and hope it’s nothing. Take care xx