friend just had recon

Hi all

Was wondering if you lot could help me. I am recovering from BC after having a mastectomy, node clearance, chemo and rads and am awaiting hormone therapy.

My friend has just had a mastectomy and recon (yesterday) and I can’t get to see her till thurs next wk and hosp wont speak to me over phone as not a reli.

My question is this; how can I best support her on her return home re the recon as this is an unknown area to me? What do I say? I know the facts about how it is performed etc as we go to the same consultant and I have had a discussion about a poss one myself. I just feel like I need more help to understand how she will be feeling, the sort of pain (she’s very nervous about this) she may be experiencing and her ongoing treatments.

Thanks in advance


Hi Irene

What a good friend you are!

I had mastectomy with immediate LD recon in Feb this year - one thing that I found is that I felt awkward and a bit sensitive about what to say to people who had just had mastectomy and no recon - so she may well feel guarded about what she says to you. I would best get this out in the open straight away.

I guess her feelings may be a lot like yours - losing a breast and looking at the scars. I don’t know what sort of recon she has had, but even now I don’t really think of it as a boob - it’s not a boob job - but with my clothes on it is OK. I showed my partner, sisters and close friends my scars very early on, but eveyone is different, I found it helped - you may want to offer to look with her. I was very up and down for weeks, worrying if I had done the right thing having the recon - if she has to have chemo it will slow down the healing process, which is very frustrating.

It was not a very painful op - just uncomfortable - the drains were the worst bits.

Just having you to talk to will be such a help - I have 2 friends in my town going thru the same with me and it is really the best medicine - talking, laughing and being there for the grotty days.

Does she have her mobile with her? Or perhaps a patientline telephone?

Hope this helps

Anita x

Hi Irene,

I am 7 weeks post bilateral recon using the LD method (muscle and skin from the back). I have to agree with Anita the worst thing for me were the drains, I had two in the back and two in the front, I found I just couldn’t get comfortable with having recon both sides. I was on a morphine drip for 24 hours then 500mg paracetomol and Ibropufen.

I found talking about the recon helped me which I also did after I had the double mastectomy. I go to a support group and they couldn’t wait for me to return and show off my results which I did.

I’m sure once your friend comes out of hospital she’ll be more than happy to talk to you knowing that it will help you when it comes to your turn for the recon.

Hope all goes well for both of you

Take Care