Hi everyone, i have just signed up and is my first time posting, i really feel like i need some advice.
My dearest friend has recently been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and is going in for a mastectomy on tuesday. She is coping amazingly well so far and is staying strong but i just want to know if there is anything in particular that would be of assistance to her when she comes out of hospital. She has a strong support network and our group of friends are setting up a rota system for visits/meals/childcare etc, but if there are any particular tips on how to deal with the recovery period i would gratefully receive them, i am starting to feel at a loss as to how i can best help her through this, emotionally and physically xx
Hi Bexter, so sorry to hear of your friend’s diagnosis. You sound a lovely friend for her to have.
I am sure she is glad of all the suport of friends like you at this time. I had a mastectomy just under a year ago, and had to learn to ask for practical help as I was restricted for a few weeks in what I could do. You will know what kind of help your friend can accept, but things that are really useful are things like hoovering, changing beds, ironing and shopping… unless her OH will do these for her. I found I got tired very easily and my concentration was rubbish for a few weeks, so it may be that she needs someone to be a ‘rottweiler’ and keep those rota-ed visitors in check! After a week or so I was getting cabin fever and was really glad to be taken out for a coffee - an hour was enough but it felt good just to be out of my own four walls. You may want to buy her little pamper treats - a magazine, an MP3 download, a bottle of her favourite moisturiser - but above all what she will want is for you to be you, to have a laugh with, to share news, to know that you are there for her.
I do hope all goes well for her - I had grade 3 stage 3 cancer and am now doing well after all my treatment.
Thankyou so much for your reply as it has really helped. I was trying to think of so many practical things that she may need doing that i overlooked the simple things such as making sure she gets enough rest, and isn’t overwhelmed with visitors. I am getting a little treat package prepared for when she gets home from hospital, but i will focus mainly on spending time with her if she needs company and making sure her little girl isn’t effected by this as much as possible. So good to hear you are doing well since your treatment, i wish you the very best health for 2012 xx
Hi bexter your friend is really lucky to have a good friend like you. I have good friends really good friends and all I wanted was to have a good cry with them and a hug but it didnt happen, I was too busy trying to pretend I was strong when I wasn’t and my friends now tell me they didn’t want to break down in front of me incase it upset me. So I would just mention this to your friend because maybe all she needs is someone with whom she doesnt have to be strong and put on a face for, it’s only my experience but I hope it helps
Thankyou sunflower, i will take that advice - she hasnt broken down in front of me or any of her friends yet, but i know she has been crying a lot in private. Am hoping she will be home in the next couple of days and i will spend some time sitting down with her, taking it easy and letting her know she doesnt need to hold it together for me. I hope you are on the road to recovery yourself x
My mum was diagnosed just before xmas and I was in the same position as you. Very usure of what to do. I’m 19 with a 21 year old brother.
What I found great was going through pictures of all the fun times we’ve had and making a list of all the things we ARE going to do together when she’s all better.
You’ve also got to remember that as a mum she will want to do some things for herself and with in reason alow her to do these things.
My mum makes me sandwiches for work everyday and does up my bracelet. It’ll help her to still feel needed and a adult.
You sound like true and good friend. The world needs more of them. Take care x