Hi all
What a weekend! New warden on the caravan site who hasn’t managed to endear himself to any of the regulars. There’s talk of mutiny amongst the ranks. It should be an interesting summer. I managed to get there on saturday and it was lovely to see everyone. Last time I saw most of them I was waiting for my biopsy so the new hair do was a bit of a talking point. One lady who works in HR asked if I’m planning on returning to work at all. I must say that I was stunned at this as the thought that I wouldn’t had never crossed my mind. She obviously has me nearly on my death bed, but I think was well intentioned. Another lady saw my bare head and asked if I was “doing a Jade” before a look passed across her face and she said"well maybe not".Bless her, she was so embarrassed and had meant no harm.
5.30am on Sunday I was not quite so happy. A Canada goose decided to have a swim on the pool yards from the van and wasn’t quiet about it. I lay there wondering if a goose would fit in a caravan oven! Could have fed quite a few people for Sunday dinner.
The dog is back to her old self and being a pest. Relieved to see it.
Take care all.
Nicky x
Hi you lot, hope you’re all good and fighting the good fight.
Where is your caravan Nicky? I do remember those Canadian geese on our campsite in Essex many moons ago, bloody noisy things - hundreds of them there were, there used to be bloody geese poo everywhere.
Just bought a pile of thrush stuff to use in a mo., all looks a bit technical - been a while since something went up there! Just spotted the new Yellow Pages loitering in the corner of the room … do you think I should call a plumber, or just let my fingers do the walking!!! (Even made myself laugh then!) Let’s see if I wake up with a smile on my face!
Ah well, here’s thinking of England! xx Jacq xx
<<<<<<< How did they know my head looks like that?
Oh Jacq!
lol!!! you’ve really made me laugh this morning! I’m not one to laugh at other peoples misfortune, but us ladies seem to end up with such idignity! I too had a major does of spongegob thrush pants- John Wayne eat your heart out, get of your horse and all that - was really bloody sore for about a week.
Were off camping at the weekend - sincere apologise if anyone else is as well, as you can bet your backside as soon as we say the word ‘tent’ in our house it’ll chuck it down! the break will be good before more chemo next tuesday.Jacq,we have a plumber working across the road - i’d personally attack the thrush stuff yourself if he’s anything to go by! lol!!!
Well, lets see if lord chuck up fancies any breakfast,still saying bad tummy after last weeks episode - funny how an easter egg that has emerged seems to be a good option!!!
Big hugs, Lyn,Nicky,Mary,Pat and Ange, hope you are all feeling ok?
PS; anyone have any suggestions for the little ‘friends’ that arrive with diarrohea? no constipation in this house!
Loulou xxxx
Evening everyone
Hope you’re all well and had a good day. A friend and her daughter came to visit today. My godaughter still hadn’t seen the wig and wanted a look at it. As we were just about to go out to lunch I bit the bullet and wore it to the pub. Never again - I felt more self concious than I do without and I had a headache by the time I got home. It is back in the box. I will stay bare headed.
Jacq, hope you’re more comfortable. The caaravan is in deepest rural Staffordshire, literally miles from the nearest village. Normally nice and peaceful! We think the goose had lost it’s way as there are normally a load on a pool just a few fields away.
Have a good evening all.
Nicky x
Morning ladies, and hope you are all well enough to look forward to Easter weekend-camping or not.
Jacqui, so glad to see you still have your sense of humour-your posts made me smile for the first time in days.
Really struggling to pick myself up from last one…generally feeling yucky and low…want to eat but nothing tastes right and horrible quesy feeling after I do eat. Haven’t experienced this after first 3 so don’t know if it’s just a build up or what?
Still not sleeping and even taking a tablet last night didn’t help that much. Sorry again for being such a moan -hopefully things will pick up soon.
Wandering around M&S yesterday looking for things that might tempt my tastebuds, and kept lifting things up then putting them back-daughter says she never thought she would see the day when I wasn’t interested in food…At least it spared my card a bashing!!
On that note am off out for coffee with a friend, so hear’s hoping for some chat on anything other than my treatment!!??
Take care all,
hugz,
Lyn xx
Hi all
Well today is day 10 of 2nd TAX and I can actually taste food so there is no stopping me today. Feeling a bit lost at times as I was always lookin after mum back and to, which has kept me busy, can,t
believe that I ve been able to do all the things while on chemo, now doing for me father but not as much care is needed. Should have my last one 21st April. Had my mums funeral on Tues 7th it was very humble and I managed to get through the day and all came back to mine. Mum would have been chuffed so many came.
See my onc on 15th April and its my birthday on 11th April,
Hopw everyone is coping
loads of love
Ange xxxx
Hi
I am in between treatment 2 and 3.
Lost most of my hair, about 10 days ago, so pretty fed up. Have a great wig, but its not the same.
Treatment is fine, and not as bad as I expected. Tired but still working full time.
Still have a long way to go with treatments.
Hi all, hope everyone is doing okay. Ange, you’ve had a helluva few days, hope you’re taking it easy and looking after you, too. I’m sure you did your mum proud. So glad the old taste buds have put in an appearance, it’s pretty great when they do - I eat everything not nailed down! So last chemo at end of month, that time will soon pass, I can’t believe where the time has gone since xmas. I wish you a wonderful day, as good as it can be anyhow, for your birthday just incase I forget to say it on the day. That’s because of my chemo brain which has taken a disturbing turn. I had my radio planning appt yesterday, all went well, got tattooed and ct etc. After appt went along to visit a lady I used to work with and as we were talking I kept going blank. I was telling her about the ct but couldn’t say ‘ct’ or scan or anything. She filled in the blanks then I told her what happened next, but couldn’t coz I didn’t know how to say ‘tattooes!’ No, as you can imagine this freaked me out, she’s mentioning good friends that I’ve worked with for years and I’m asking her to reming me who they were!!! She was really concerned but it only lasted about 5 mins. Have since done a bit of googling and apparently this chemo brain or fog can actually affect memory, cause confusion, make us forget words we usually know etc. How great is this - finished with the old chemo and now feel like I’m losing the plot! When I see my onc will def bring this up, in the meantime I need to do some serious braintraining, or something! This has only happened the once but will keep an eye on it. Has anyone else out there experienced anything like it? Apparently it can be peculiar to women with breast cancer but can affect other cancers too. Lyn, I hope you’re feeling a bit better - the taste thing is the pits. Hope you at least enjoyed your coffee with friend. Nicky, so the wigs not for you, it’s funny how we all feel comfortable in our own way, usually bald head and all and I’d never have believed that right at the beginning. Lou, hope camping is good fun, can’t help with the ‘little friends?’!! Jacq, hope thrush is in the past, and that there was no call for plumber… Mary, hope you’re doing okay. Wish everyone a great Easter, am arming myself with post-its to leave notes everywhere in case I lose myself!!! love and big, huge, chocolatey hugs Pat x
Ange - you’ve done so well and yes your mum will have been proud…
Nicky - I felt very odd in my wig the first time I went out but have got used to it more now, saying that today I had to go for blood test and had a niggly sort of head and couldn’t face the wig so went in the scarf which I thought I wouldn’t do…felt so much more comfy though and quite liberating ina funny way! I have appt for hickman line to go in next tues then chemo on thurs and that will mean I’ll be half way through then hopefully!
Here’s to a good weekend everybody, mary x
Hi ladies and Happy Easter! Hope you are all getting tucked into lots of chocolate? Fortunately that’s one thing that doesn’t do it for me -there are 3 large choc eggs sitting on my unit-prezzis from various folks and I am not remotely tempted!!
Happy birthday on Saturday Ange and hope the coming year is a better one for you!
I bit the bullet and having been at a talk by our local Macmillan nurse coordinator on Wednesday realised that I needed to talk various things through. He said that had I not turned up he was going to come knocking on my door! Lovely guy and much though it was uncomfortable he made me face up to the fact that I put too much pressure on myself to put a face on things just now when really there was no need nor shame in admitting that I was having problems.
To cut a long story short, 2 hours later and some tears, I was feeling much better and he also gave me a lot of advice about the next 2 treatments and how to cope with the anxiety-is coming back to see me after the next one and generally left me feeling much happier.
There is this impression that Mac nurses only appear at later atages but in fact are there available to help from dx stage.
Am going to make a conscious effort to be kinder to myself for the next few months and not beat myself up when I am not coping!
On that note am off to put my feet up and relax!
Take care all and have a lovely weekend.
Hugz,
Lyn xx
Hi all
Hope you’ve all had a good easter. This morning a dad hid some eggs around our vans and then brought his two small children on an easter egg hunt. It was lovley to watch.
Well a vote has been taken and it’s official. My hair is growing back. Unfortunately not enough to stop my scalp from burning when I was sat outside this afternoon. Hopefully you’ve all had weather as good as we’ve had.
Belated happy birthday Ange.
Pat I too have chemo brain. The other day someone asked me what colour top I wear for work and I really couldn’t remember. It was only the day before that I’d been into work and seen everyone in uniform! Everyone thinks I’m joking when I say chemo brain, they don’t realise how real and scary it is.
Take care all.
Nicky x
Hello everyone and a Happy Easter!!! Thankyou for all your lovely birthday greetings. I had a lovely day with loads of people calling had loads of beautiful flowers even had to borrow some vases.
Just chillin out today gettin fed up of my wig now, so don t have nothing on in house and garden as my hair is startin to grow back head feels a bit sensitive like when it started to go, yesterday my teeth were hurtin a bit, better today.I ve ate the three wispa bars in my easter egg, lovely (not all at once!).
Pat I havent had the chemo brain yet but I will be keeping an eye in case.Hope you have no more do,s like this.
Lyn hope you are feeling better in yourself it does you good to talk and get things out of your system.
Nicky hope your burning scalp has been sorted I will have to be careful in sun.
Mary good luck hope all goes well for tuesday, I see onc on Wed.
take care loads luv & hugs to all
Ange xxxxx
hi all - choc overdose…I’m never eating it again, till later…off out with some friends for pub meal in a while and trying to stop thinking about the hickman line tomorrow but will be glad to get fec no. 3 on thurs then half way through, wah hey…mary x keep well everybody!!
Hi all, hope everyone had a good Easter, with lots of chocolate! Ange, glad you had a good birthday, you deserve it. Nicky, the chemo brain thing is really scary isn’t it? I’m starting brain-training immediately! Really freaked me out and now I’m worrying about it happening again. WWell, I’m off to my LGFB session tomorrow afternoon at St. Thomas, quite looking forward to meeting other ladies in same boat. Hope everyone else is doing good, check in later, love and hugs Pat x
well, it’s in and I’m shattered - think from mithering about today, so glad to get it out of the way - planning a sleep in tomorrow morning and a nice lazy day…hope you’re all well, mary x
Hiya all! Hope everybody had a good, chocolatey weekend - camping or otherwise.
Went to a posh, family wedding in a stately home on Saturday. Normally always draped in black (merry widow and all that!). Girls said, no - you can’t wear black for a spring wedding - so I made the effort and wore a longish, ivory, floaty dress and a beige, linen jacket (looked the dog’s ******** - well - not bad!).
Until … blew nose halfway through the dinner … and suddenly became a blood donor!
Staff whisked me into the nearest loo - disabled one at that. Omg, you never saw such a state, it was like a full-blown Hammer Horror production.
So there I was for the next 45 minutes, bleeding - washing dress, bleeding - washing jacket, bleeding - washing floor (with bottom of TOO long dress).
Just as I’d about finished, soaking wet, wig askew, youngest daughter came looking for me. Cheers m’dear, make sure you’ve all polished off the last of the profiteroles before you come to check on your precious mother!
So, in the words of Amy - it’s Back to Black.
Anyway, drowned my sorrows and had a good old booze, bit of a head the next day though, and spent the rest of Easter doing not much other than the couch potato bit.
Last chemo next Monday - hoobloodyray - I think!
Love to all, xx Jacq xx
Oh Jacqui-it could only happen to you!! And you make it sound so funny, but must have been awful! Hope all goes well on Monday.
I am due to have my 5th on Monday but got a dilemma-my friend who was given only 2-6 months back in January, died suddenly on Sunday morning from a stroke, and his funeral is on Monday at 1.30, so do I go to the funeral or do I keep my chemo app?? Spent last night with his partner who is also a very close friend and feel for her sake that I need to be there. Have phoned to try and change app but still waiting for them to get back to me.
Also just spent the last 2 days with another friend whose husband walked out on her for another younger woman after 26 years!!!
It’s been a traumatic few days and I feel drained-so much for trying to be kinder to myself??
Pat, on the chemo brain thing-I was preparing an Easter meal on Sunday and chatting to oldest daughter and boyfriend while I was working, when Shona says, “Mummy why do you never finish a sentence?”
I wasn’t even aware that I hadn’t been finishing sentences…oh help! AND forgetting words when I am speaking and knowing that I should know the word… Hope it doesn’t get any worse?
And just to cap it all my dishwasher has packed up and kitchen sink blocked…so waiting for a plumber or we are going to be eating off paper plates for a while…why does everything happen at once??
Anyway better go do some ironing-it’s meeting me at the door!
Good luck with apps Ange and kittencat.
Take care all,
Lyn xx
Ah, bless you Lyn for the sympathy. Yeah, I think I have that ‘tears of a clown’ syndrome - 'cos if I didn’t laugh …
Anyway, poor you too. Doesn’t it just rock your boat when material things pack up on you? I know they seem like trivial things, but it’s just something else we don’t need when our life is all on edge with this shit.
I sympathise with your friends, but I don’t think you should alter your chemo session really. I guess it’s ok if it’s only for a day or two later than Monday, but these chemo sessions are worked out quite meticulously for you as an individual. So put you and your treatment up there with the ‘needy’.
Anyway, I’m sure two posts from me in one day is enough for you lot, so I’ll be off! xx Jacq xx
Seem to remember this from a different thread: bit of Smokey Robinson therapy…
Now if there’s a smile on my face
It’s only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
now honey that’s quite a different subject.
Don’t let my glad expression
give you the wrong impression
really I’m sad
Sadder than sad
You’re gone and I’m hurting so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad.
(c’mon everyone, sing along to the next bit, you know you want to)
Now there’s some sad things known to man
But ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown
when there’s no-one around.
Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my sadness hid. Smiling in the public eye
but in my lonely room
I cry the tears of a clown…doo doo doo, dee dee dee dah dah dah dah etc.
From another Lyn, just drifting through*
L x
*cause it’s hard to find stuff on the redesigned site…best of luck, all ;o)