having a sorta rant ,ermmmmmmmm yesterday was good except the oncologist Mr F frightened me with the chance of my cancer recurring, bone and body scan clear blood tests clear = there’s a chance cancer showing elsewhere 
… the oncologist did not pull any punches though the grade 2 tumour had spread aggressively in a small amount of time. from a mammogram 2cm tumour until i had the mastectomy and 4 lymph node removal ( the surgeon took 16 nodes 14 showed cancer)… but saying that he was v optimistic because of scans and bloods clear .
I have to have a ECG and a heart scan just to check my heart as the chemo can adversely affect the heart( told him i don’t have one just a swinging brick) he never laughed . i’ll start chemo in about 2 weeks 8 treatments every 3 weeks over 24 weeks … ermmmmmmmmmmm i’ll need a hat /cap lol
rantng ended for now ,hope your all well… feel free to have a rant along side me
Hi Susan,
I had exactly the same with my oncologist. The surgery team have been great but I got the impression the oncologist was trying to scare me into taking every preventative treatment (which I’d have taken anyway) and was unnecessarily negative. The BCN said something about oncs seeing the world differently. I guess they are really focussed on preventing spread but I am totally with you. He scared me witless.
Have you told you BCN how this has made you feel? I know they are all different but mine are really good and even referred me back to the surgery team today to talk through a few points which I was worried about x
HI susan M, Sorry to haar you had a bad session with your Onc. I don’t mean to be frivilous in the face of your treatment , but I wanted to give you some info on the hats /cap front. I ordered a cap from Suburban Turban and it was comfy and stylish and I LOVED it - also I ordered it before my chemo so I could just get it out the drawer when the time came…they make them specially for us baldies - the milners sister had chemo.
bw Nicola
Eew, not a nice session. But take comfort in the knowledge that most oncologists have to leave any kind of sense of humour at the door when they go in to collect their specialism, and don’t recognise an attempt at some lightheartedness if it smacks them in the face. Mine’s an aussie so he does have the capacity to smile, which is good, but he’s a bit laid back with giving me facts and figures which I find a bit annoying.
But look at the good stuff you’ve been given.
Bone scan clear. Excellent.
Body scan clear. Excellent.
Bloods clear. Excellent.
Grade 2. Excellent.
ECG and heart scans are fairly standard in some places, they are there to give them a baseline so they know what you’re starting with, and are nothing to worry about.
Chemo will be tough but it IS manageable and you have a wealth of personal experience and tips and tricks to help you through it in this site.
Rant away, we all need to sometimes and who better to rant to than others who are in the same boat.
Re headgear, you can probably get an NHS voucher for a wig, take a look at various sites that do different styles of headwear, you’ll find something you’re comfortable with. Suburban Turban’s hats are lovely and the millner is a really nice lady who understands the cancer thing. Other sites people have commented on are annabandana.co.uk, bandanashop.com, wigstoreuk.co.uk (think that’s the one). Also try to book yourself on a Look Good Feel Better session, that’ll be very enjoyable and will help, I think.
And welcome to the site, you’re with friends.
CM
x
I sympathise Susan. I see two oncs regularly - a medical onc and a rads onc. I always come away relatively upbeat from one and depressed from the other. It’s all to do with their manner, as they’re basically telling me the same thing, but one is optimistic about my chances and the other isn’t. It’s unfortunate but I prepare myself for it now, and try not to let it affect me too badly.
mmm,think all Oncs must have a ‘Ignore the Look of Confusion and Terror On Your Patient’s Face And Just Tarry Forth’ part in their training.
Mine’s the same: she told me my lymphs were positive - they’re not they’re ‘suspicious’, that on one scan they HAD come back positive - nope, the next mention was ‘atypical’ and then tried to give me an extra injection for WBC for no apparent reason.
think it must be par for the cause - rant away honey!
im different i had 4 oncologist until i found one i could enjoy. He is a professor sadly retiring in June but he has been great. The surgeon what a po face. we are red rag to a bull and always arguing. I dont take any prisoners when i go. I have respect for there training but doesnt always mean they are right or have the right not to smile or in fact listen to you.
Hatty, do you think we should start another thread called “frightened yesterday by my patient” for oncologists and surgeons to post on? You sound like a right live wire!
Hi All
Another one here that felt same way on my last visit to my onc. Saw junior Doc at my last 6 monthly check up. I went in feeling fantastic and came out feeling low and it ain’t like me! 1st CT scan at DX 'suspicious’small spot on liver, as I was dx with IBC had chemo first before mastectomy. All CT scans since show no sign of spot although they have discovered I have cysts on the liver and gall stones! Have been on herceptin since DX 2 years ago and I always ask is position the same with herceptin - any chance of stopping etc. After all it is indefinately!!! Although I’m quite happy on it! I think I did throw the doc of balance a bit with my list of questions coz he went scuttling of to check and was gone for so long I thought he’d forgotten me! Came back with the info that herceptin was keeping me well and if I come of it it’l come back - well excuse me theres nothing there!!! Just the whole attitude got me! I did see my actual onc. in the waiting room and he said he’d heard I was very well! blah! blah! damage was done - took me a week or so to get over that one.I I’m normally quite bulshi loud and positive!!! I think I’ll insist on seeing onc. next time!!!
My PS is brill, just seen him this week to arrange lipofil on my recon. Came out of there feeling great! Well on the way to having a pair of pert boobs! yay!
Sorry another one ranting! But glad others feel the same as me!
xxxxxx
thank you all for your coments , i sometimes think some Onc’s need to be a little more upbeat but i would never doubt there ability to do there job,
and i have meany posative’s ,
Bone scan clear. Excellent.
Body scan clear. Excellent.
Bloods clear. Excellent.
Grade 2. Excellent.
had a phone call yesterday from the onc unit and they want me to pop in next friday 8 am just for a look about and chat ,ohhhhh and they will see if they can arrange for my hear check to be done at the same time ( thats one less vist lo)
i had a think about the cap/hat or a wig and have looked at the web sites and as its spring i’ll go scalf and wig ( when needed) after all you can buy a head scalf in any shade or colours and add anything you wish to them.
susan
OMG must be the same all over, cos My Mum was told last week, she had hot spots only need bone strengthen drip treatment, then we go back this week to be told you have bone mets in your sternum and back bones OMG what a shock, she did not hold amy punches telling her the news either, she basically told Mum nothing can be done, no point in chemo or radio. since then I have looked into this and she was totally wrong, and to be fair the BCN when I called her to report it, was so anoyed at the Onc for talking to my Mum like that, apparently she should have told Mum, chemo and radio it is not needed yet, cos her cancer appears to be slow growing. I know they are obviously good at their jobs and amasing people to do what they do, but hell, a bit of consideration does not cost anything does it. Now Mum has got her head around it all when she goes back next week she has a list of questions and is going to tell her straight, poor Onc.
Chocciemuffin im all for it keep em scared and they look after you far better than if you sit back and absorb there every word lol I had a scan on my axillary nodes and dr. says your surgeon is going to be so pleased with the results. The miserable old blighter surgeon says we will take your nodes and let you know the results. I say no results to have summer is coming and it will be fine. We will let you know the results, yes says i but summer is coming and i will be fine. No smile just a grimace. For gods sake man get some humour in your life after all life is to short for misery.
I suppose what we need to hang on to is that your onc may have a lousy bed side manner… but hopefully he’s a damn good onc…
Having said that, I always feel a good smattering of humour goes down well in most situations, and luckily, just about all the docs I have had to deal with have been on the same planet.
Attack is also the best form of defence, do your research, have your lists of questions ready, and go in prepared to question/query/demand explanations… if you can feel that you have a say, and an understanding, of your treatment, then you will be less frightened. Empowerment sounds hippyish, but I have discovered in the past that it is a very real state of mind.
The very first time I met my onc, a week post mx, she said to me ‘now, do you know why you’re here?’ to which I replied ‘I have breast cancer. The tumour was over 3cms. I have lymph node involvement. The cancer was Grade 3. I need chemo.’
She was a little taken aback…lol… but since then has made every effort to discuss all options with me, and I feel much more like I have been consulted on treatment plans, rather than dictated to.
Sophie xx
Lol my first onc said good morning, now tell me what you know, I said no thats your job you tell me what you know!! She says we have to ask you that so i rattled off everything to her and then said now you tell me what you know it turned out i new more than her because they had forgotten to do my her 2 status… Oncologist no2, tells me what he knows you have metastases so you understand leaning over the desk sweating and staring me straight in the eyes do you understand you are stage 4 do you understand. I stared back and said read your notes im stage 2 cup cancer and its not spread its in my lymphnodes. Clinic was running an hour late, i got up out of the chair and said i will come back when your not so busy. Onc no. 3 excellent went all through my notes chatted everything through, bang on target. Couldnt see me as he was off on xmas leave for 2 months. Now under Professor who is also brilliant but retiring in June so lucky me now back to onc no 3 who was trained by the professor is young and on the ball and LISTENS.
You dont have to settle with the first onc or surgeon go for what feels right.
Yup, I’m certain they have to ask ‘do you know…’… even to the point of being post surgery, making sure their patients understand they have breast cancer… and I did meet one lovely lady whilst I was in hospital, who really, really would not want to know more than that. She didn’t want to know how big the tumour was, what grade/stage, what the differences in chemo were… and that is her perogative. It would drive me mad…on the other hand!
I just felt from my onc’s response, that the other lady is the far more familiar picture to them - and it can take them aback a bit when someone who has actually delved into their condition comes into their surgery!!
Good for you, for wading through piles of oncs til you found the right one… though that second one who didn’t even have your case correct, can you imagine how terrifying that would have been to someone who didn’t actually know better??
Sophie xx
Sure could have been and i made a formal complaint about him. It was my life he was messing with. My cousin had breast cancer and she new nothing not even what type she said i just believed in a cure and my onc.
Each to our own to get us through.
My surgeon says i make him think outside the box and made him think about things more than most would. He cant understand why i want so much info. My onc is quite happy to discuss everything and we even discuss things that he teaches his students, latest research etc. I feel he even talks to me like a doc at times and then says oh did you understand that and if not explains more. Great stuff.
We are all so different. I like to know everything and then research further. My SIL - who is not a coper in life, has a LARGE sarcoma on her thigh. It is to be removed on Tuesday with radiotherapy to follow. She wants to know nothing. I’ve told her she should at least be interested in what treatment she should be having and when as I have found that things don’t always get written in the right place.
Stella xx