Frightened and feel very alone

Hi all,

I really don’t know what I am looking for by posting, maybe just need to get things out. I was diagnosed with early stage BC in July 2018 that was succesfully treated.

I am due for a mammogram tomorrow as I have one breast larger than the other. I had a mammogram in June as I was worried about it then but I was told it is a cyst. Since then it has become painful and I can’t shake the feeling that it is cancer. I had papillomas in this breast too and I have such a feeling of dread. This isn’t like me, I can usually rationalise but I really can’t at the moment. I don’t want to speak to friends/family about it as there are so many depressing things in the world at the moment and I don’t want to add to it but I feel very alone. 

I realise now how many questions I didn’t ask at the time of my original diagnosis and I don’t really know about papillomas etc. Do they often turn cancerous? I can handle anything once I know what it is but I can’t stand the waiting.

Does anyone have any experience of cysts and/or papillomas? Good or bad stories are fine. It would help to go to my appointment tomorrow with some questions etc.

Many thanks


Dear Fazza,

I have only been a member on here a little while,  and one thing I can assure you, is that you are not alone! 

Your anxiety about cysts/papilloma are to be expected considering your previous diagnosis.  One thing that I found helpful when waiting for results, was “deal with what you know”.  Right now,  you (and the doctors), don’t know.  So one day at a time. 

You could try ringing your BC nurse,  to discuss your anxieties before tomorrow? 

In the meantime, plan some small pleasant things for yourself and remember how strong you were last time. So whatever this turns out to be,  you will be able to manage it. 

Big virtual hugs xx 

Hi Fazza33 - a big hug from me too. You’ve had a very wise and lovely reply from Pandabear, I agree with all she says. You definitely aren’t alone and we can all relate to how you are feeling. Sometimes it is easier to share feelings on here rather than speak to family and friends - everyone on here just gets it without explanation.

As Pandabear says, try to deal in facts, and remember fears are not facts (advice I read in a great book). Keep chatting on here if it helps - and do let us know how you get on, if you feel like it.

Evi xx