Frightened Man

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Hi Everyone

 

i am male and was diagnosed on 21st October with a 2cm cancer in my right Breast. Mammogram and u.trasound showed no sign of spread to lymph nodes.

 

Having my mastectomy next week.

 

so far I have been super positive until I woke up, no particular reason, said hello to my lump (become a it of a habit!) and found a lump in my armpit. It’s 2:40 in the morning, no one to talk too and for the first time I am feeling real fear and  not panic.

 

i still have another week to go before surgery and worry what spread wil happen in the next week?

 

I’m working away from home, in a hotel and feeling  very low, very alone and scared.

 

if there are any other night owls out there, please say hello. 

 

Dave x

 

 

 

 

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Hi Dave,

i am awake too. I had a mastectomy last Thursday having been diagnosed with bilateral bc so I also had a lumpectomy on the other side. They also think that I have no sign of lymph nodes being affected but won’t know for sure until results from removal. It is a real stress and worry and you can’t help but think the worst. You are having surgery next week so I am sure they will check. My surgeon said a couple of weeks wait would make no difference to outcomes but it is hard nt to worry. I would ring your docs tomorrow  for reassurances.

it must be so hard for you being a man dealing with this but there are plenty of us on here who will support you. This forum has helped me so much. I have never posted on an online forum before!

i hope you get back to sleep. Claire xxx

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Hello Dave x
Sorry to see you in our club but glad you have found us for support. In the early days (she says only 5 weeks in) everything is a bit scary waiting for results but this is normal and its OK to be worried but you shouldnt worry about things alone or things too far in the future, your BCN and us are here for you. As Jobey said just go one step at a time, one set of results , one test and then the next it all gets too much if you think about it all at once. I often wake up at 4ish and have a browse before managing to go back to sleep so I guess others do the same so just post when you need to and someone will be there
Jen x

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Hi Dave,

I also have my mx next week, mines on 5th November, so no fireworks for me that night! Try not to worry too much, call your BCN and have a chat. Mine, and my consultant, are constantly telling me that cancer doesn’t spread as quickly as I think it does in my head and that a few weeks doesn’t make a difference. I had the same kind of scenario as you, had the initial lump in my breast, then found a second in my underarm. Just hold on to the thought that by the end of next week they will have removed the bad stuff. Sissy x

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Hi Dave I’m new to the group but have to say the ladies on here are amazing and it’s been a real help to me. I know what you mean about needing to be around people who have been through this, I found it very comforting.
Edgely xx

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Hi Everyone

 

Thank you so much for your support. Its realy reassuring to get all your messages. have spoken to my BCN who points out lymph nodes swell for a myriad of reasons and even if it is Mr C not to panic, its still been caught early!

 

Really glad I have joined the Forum!

 

Dave xxxx

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I just try to keep in mind that my lymph have swollen as they’re doing their job and stopping the bad cells travelling any further, and as my scan results were good I know they’re doing their job well!

This forum is great, you’ll get lots of help and support here. Sissy xx

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Hi Dave,

I’m sorry you have had to join this club! Even for those of us who, just by being female, should have expected a 1 in 8 chance of finding ourselves here, it’s enough of a shock but you must be floored.

This is the most fantastic forum and there will be no end of ladies with tremendous advice and support to offer - I’m a year on down the line and still benefit from dropping in here regularly.

 However, I’m guessing there may be times you’d appreciate a blokey point of view so have you spotted the “men” section under talk to people like me? 

Hugs,

Kitt

x

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Dave call your breast care nurse today. She can tell you if you need to be examined. I hope it goes ok. It is horrible to be waiting for something to happen. I hope it all goes well with the mastectomy. xx

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Thanks again everyone, the support is so appreciated.

 

6 days & counting!

 

Dave xx

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Good luck next week Dave, there are quite a lot of us at various stages of treatment talking on the “just diagnosed and wanting to talk to people who understand” thread if you want to join us there.

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Hi Dave, sorry you’ve had to join this forum but you’ve made a good choice to look for support. It’s been a great help to me from the beginning of my diagnosis and continuing as I’m post surgery, 3 weeks today! It’s agony waiting for appointments, tests then results! I finally get my pathology results post op in Monday!!!
Hope you get some rest tonight. We’re all with you, supporting each other rowing in this crappy boat! Xx Tina

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Dave I forgot to add Hood luck with your surgery! What date and where? You’re getting surgery much quicker than I did and I too was worried sick in thinking what’s going to happen with all these weeks of waiting!?! But told the same as others, that a few weeks will not make any difference! I was diagnosed with grads 2 lobular on the 17th August, following ultra sound and needle tests and mammogram. Then told needed core biopsy on 26th Aug, another long wait for results! Called back for MRI (long wait for apt)

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Contd!!! Flipping phone!
MRI on 26th sept, and surgery finally on 8th October! Strangely relieved once in for it! I had a lateral mammoplasty and reconstruction. Praying for good results Monday as they couldn’t see anything in lymph nodes but wasn’t definite! Praying no more surgery or chemo… I want to keep what they’ve left me! Xxx was fortunate to have said procedure due to the area of tumour. Xxx Hugs Tina

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Morning ladies!

 

4th hotel of the week and another middle of the night wide awake alone and feeling it a bit! Time to turn to my new found friends. ??

 

Mind you I have a bit more of a reason this morning. Had a text from my consultant Simon Cawthorne  yesterday telling me my cancer is Grade 3 Hormone Reactive and asking me if I could fit a CT scan in before surgery next Wednesday (Spire Bristol Tabby 4 ?)

 

That was the start of a 3 hour session of exchanges of texts and calls between Consultant, my sister (oncology nurse at Jimmys at Leeds), the  hospital arranging time and date of scan and my wonderful, wonderful GP. Really spooked to begin with but reassurance from my sister and GP settled me down.

 

End result is a scan today ar 1:30, results (has cancer spread or not) also this afternoon. This to be followed by an invitation to my GP’s home for a cuppa with my other half afterwards (she’s threatened to beat me up if I tell the Pracrice Manager as she’s not supposed to do this apparently ??)

 

All this was happening whilst ‘parked’ on the M6 on the second 6 hour plus car journey in two days. So quite an afternoon.

 

im really lucky to have private medical insurance although having seen NHS oncology care close up with my mother who passed away 3 years ago and how fantastic the NHS were with her I think the main advantage appears to be a little more flexibility in terms of times of appointments and the hot chocolate from the vending machine is free! ?

 

As as a retired Police Officer I dealt with many hairy situations as all officers do and coped because I had the training to do so. What I find hardest to cope with is the lack of control of my own future now. I actually feel a little weird at the moment. Imhide any overt concern and worry in front of others, am outwardly super positive if not a little hyper. People keep telling me my positivity will see me through but just beneath the surface the truth lurks, a weak, frightened, selfish, angry man. These feelings and emotions stay hidden until they sneak out and haunt me as they are now when I’m alone, in a strange place in the depths of the night.

 

Then I re-read all your lovely comments and support. I feel the warmth and the love and the metaphorical hugs. On the subject of hugs I seem to have been hugging people all week! Every time I mention to a lady I have Breast cancel I seem to get hugs! Had a few man hugs along the way too mind you! 

 

Clearly no-one chooses to be in this position but I feel strangely privileged to be among you and receiving your support.

 

Anyway it’s time to try and sleep some more, apologies for the rambling message. Thank you all again for helping me ???

 

Dave xxx

 

 

 

 

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Morning Dave x

hopefully you fell asleep.

You might think its hocus pocus and I seriously did till I dowoaded it. There is a guided talkdown with rain sounds by the honest guys on amaz*n i have been putting it on in the middle of the night to distract me and its really worked there is an 8hr version of it on u tube which ive found really good because if I wake up and hear the rain noise I say to myself its still time to be asleep dont look at the time or pick up your phone dont think just turn over , breathe and relax. I was a sceptic but its worked so maybe worth a try as the silence was really what was getting to me. If you are in hotel ive been spraying other halfs aftershave while he works away this helps me get to sleep , again something I didnt think would work but it does (now owe him a bottle of platinum egoiste though ).

I got CT results yesterday and they were clear but I know how anxious the wait is so I wont tell you not to worry but I will send a big hug and say dont worry alone x My tumour is large and aggressive and that hadnt spread so just think that for a bit if it helps, I honestly thought it would have and it hadnt.

Best wishes for your surgery x dont envy you the M6 car park, hubby has been using the A roads he said it hasnt taken much longer and hes had a few stops to just stop and calm down and enjoy the view if you have time maybe do this .

Ps I am used to crisis situations and appearing all swan like and serene on the top whilst paddling frantically underneath I know how you feel please remember that you dont need to keep it all in and it does help to talk to other people even if its us horrible lot x

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Ps I am joking with the horrible folks xx

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CT Scan done - no sign of the cancer spreading! Phew now to get some sleep! Thanks again everyone! Xxx

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Yay Dave xx great news :slight_smile:
Cant get the linky to work for the ama*n thing wont copy on my phone but if you put in honest guys rain it comes up.

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Great news Dave x