Furious hysterical meltdown

All geared up for 3pm for my second chemo slot. Resting, planning a light lunch, mentally preparing by just chilling.


Phone call at 11am. “Are you on your way? you were due here for 9:30am”


ARGH!!! No I am not! I’d sent bloke off to work with my bag with paperwork in and stuff to carry for me so I could just focus on getting to the hospital with minimal (purse, suncream, snacks). “Well you don’t need anything with you” (I *KNOW* the slot wasn’t for 9:30 but of course he has the paperwork in his car at work but even so all my diary notes say 3pm carefully copied from appointment cards).


cue hysterical meltdown on the phone, a lot of silence from their end (tho they understandably could scarce understand me through sobbing) and me saying I’m sorry I’m sorry… Because obviously the confusion has to be my fault because that’s my default position.


i so wanted to be in control, to just get through this calmly and easily and then THIS. So many appointments confused, cancelled, mucked about… 


So I am going I still for 3pm. They know this.  Will deal with it. But stress I did not need.



So awful when these things happen

but it has and by now you will be through no. 2

tonight you know what to to do as you have already been there before.

take care

speak soon when you are up for it