Hi all, being lazy as likely lots in old threads, but fancied starting a new one. So 9 rads to go, ( ignore 7 years of hormone therapy) and I’m done. Most traumatic three months of my life and I still have 1.5 boobs and didn’t have chemo. So, inspiration please ladies, particularly on coping with the fear of it coming back which is starting to bed in. How do you stop it playing on your mind? And how best to deal with well meaning people who will be under the impression I’ll " be better, all fixed" after rads.
I have 15 rads to go having had 12 rounds of chemo and surgery - start 10 years of hormones Friday. I say to myself if it comes back it can be dealt with . That doesn’t stop fear of secondaries but am going with the odds which are in my favour . That’s all we can do really . Have also moderated alcohol intake massively and stopped smoking eight months ago … was only five a day but all helps
Hi Wonky
I think I’m reaching the same stage as you - sh** isn’t it? I got through the last 11 months in a state of denial, refusing to ask questions or look up stuff because I knew it would feed my anxiety. Now all the treatment has ended (apart from odd bit here and there) and the anchor of hospital appointments has gone, I’ve noticed I’m beginning to think about the what ifs… Scary. I’m planning to take myself off for the one-to-one counselling on offer via Macmillan or The Haven. I don’t think talking it through with a GP or a counsellor would help - it needs to be someone with understanding of the very specific worries linked to cancer. I’m also dragging my husband along as he’s way worse than I am.
As for the people who expect us to be better, I’ve only had one so far and I burst out laughing, reminding them I have one boob now, which is a bit of an unavoidable reminder, another menopause for 10 effing years, and telling them about the Moving Forward course that advises us to accept that nothing goes back to normal, only a new normal that includes cancer in some way. That was a conversation-stopper. I’d prefer to be assertive on this one than let indignation fester like I used to. I’ll happily turn into a harridan!
If you find anything useful, please let me know. The move from numb to what if is not something I’m enjoying. Good luck
Jan xx